We All Fall In Love Sometimes
by K. East
Summary: Two rival Chasers on professional British Quidditch teams are in for the ride of their lives as an off-sides affair compromises their reputations as well as their hearts. Lily/James.
1. We Meet Again

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter One: We Meet Again

January 28, 1982 dawned bright and crisp, the sky tinted with pink in warning of a storm later on. Despite this mix of signals, there was a fair turnout to the season's first Quidditch games.

Quidditch was a widely popular Wizarding sport, and Opening Day usually greeted a flood of spectators in three British stadiums where the first games would be played. It was arranged by the British and Irish League, or B.I.L., which orchestrated a six-month parry of Quidditch involving thirteen wildly popular teams.

One of those teams was the Holyhead Harpies, which had just finished a rather spectactular game. Lily Evans, a twenty-one year-old Chaser who had just been drafted two years prior, had organized a rally to win the match after a 180-point disadvantage.

Lily landed on the grassy pitch after the official commentary, shouting back praise to teammates as she threw her broom up on her shoulders and pulled dirt-spattered goggles off. Dark red hair brushed her neck in a ponytail, frizzy from all the action.

She was slight, standing five-foot-five. Her dark green Quidditch robes, the uniform of the Harpies, barely brushed the ground, lengthening out her figure. Despite being an all-women team, the Harpies used the same basic uniform of other, mostly male teams: trousers, shirt, boots, and protective leather gauntlets to help stabilize the forearm.

Lily was satisfied with the win, but in her mind she was already looking for ways she could improve the team's overall strategy. That was the kind of person she was: if the team did well, so did she. If it put up a poor performance, she felt cheated.

"Hey, Evans!"

A voice broke her from her thoughts: it was James Potter, someone she hadn't seen since a rather heated match the previous August. He played for the Appleby Arrows, and the Harpies had lost the League Cup to them in 1981, much to Lily's disappointment. Her goal was to earn the Cup this year once and for all.

"Hello, Potter," she said, pasting a smile on her face. "Come out to see the match, have you?"

"More checking out the competition," he said, flashing a set of pearly whites. "This year's Cup is anyone's for the taking, I reckon."

Oh, how Lily detested that smile. James she could deal with; despite all of his arrogance, he was actually quite a thoughtful person and extremely excellent Quidditch player. It was just his selfish little grin, on that perfect face, with that lean body and ruffled black hair, that all women loved - well, it irked her. Greatly.

"Have the Arrows had a lousy off-season to make you worried?" she wondered out loud. "I missed your game earlier today - how was it?"

James looked mildly surprised. "Oh, you haven't heard? I've been traded to the Magpies."

"The Montrose Magpies?"

"Yeah. Most successful team in the league, you know," James said nonchalantly, examining a gold ring on his right hand. It was obvious he was bursting with pride but didn't want to show it. "I've been telling the managers all along I belong the Magpies, so it was really nice that they finally opened up for offers."

"I hope you got a good signing bonus, leaving a team like the Arrows after you won them the Cup!" Lily raised her eyebrow. _That_ was pretty impressive.

"They paid me a decent amount, yeah." James took on a smug look, pleased with the attention. The word _Montrose _struck fear and excitement in every Quidditch player's heart: they were willing to pay any price to get the best athletes, and good players took advantage of that to the fullest extent. "Of course, I don't suppose the Harpies gave you a signing bonus at all... aren't they sponsored by a candy store?"

"An international franchise for sweets marketing, actually," Lily said dryly. "I got a modest bonus. It's called _budgeting_."

"More like breaking laws on minimum wage."

Lily forced herself to chuckle. She speculated that she'd lost at least a hundred - no, _two_ hundred - brain cells in the three minutes she'd held a conversation with this old classmate of hers. It was clear nothing had changed since last season.

"Well," she said loudly, adjusting her broom on her shoulder, "it's been a long day, and if you don't mind, I'd like to hit the locker room."

"Leaving already?"

"Unfortunately for you, yes."

"Oh, wait!" He extended a hand as if to say, _Halt!_ "I've a match next Saturday in London - want to come?"

She grimaced. "Ah, well... I - I could."

"I'm not asking you out," he said suddenly, as if very concerned she'd gotten the wrong idea. "I just think it would be _best_ if someone from your team actually paid attention to other games for once. It's embarrassing, whooping on a team that bad."

"Gee, thanks." Lily was fuming. The Harpies had played an excellent season the previous year! It was downright insulting for someone like James to criticize their performance. She wouldn't be surprised if he'd been traded because his teammates couldn't stand his attitude. "Well," she said, "I have to go." And she stuck out her hand.

He shook it stiffly, then looked at it with curiosity. "Are you right-handed?"

She pulled it away as if it had been burned. "Yes. Why do you ask?"

"But you _always_throw the Quaffle with your left hand! I've seen you. Why's that?"

"Magic can't cure everything," she snapped.


	2. Competition

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Two: Competition

The Montrose Magpies were magnificent.

They were so graceful - seven tall, toned men in matching black-and-white robes had walked onto the field, holding identical streamlined racing brooms. Lily almost fainted when she saw them: all classic athletes. It was no secret how they won, either. The teammates were so polished, skilled, and in sync with each other that it made the redhead wonder how a ragtag team like the Harpies would ever make it past them in play-offs.

It was interesting, seeing James play. She hadn't seen him since the League Cup finals, and he had grown significantly better. The fact that he was a Chaser for the New York Yankees of Quidditch was a testament to that. She also notice he interacted with his team with a much better attitude.

The game was over in less than ten minutes. The Tutshill Tornadoes were sub-par, so they were trounced by the Magpies. Lily swore she saw the Seeker crying as he walked off the pitch, completely humiliated by his opponent.

It was a 350 to 10 victory.

"Excellent game," Lily told James when he made his way out of the locker room. Most of the crowd had dispersed at this point, uninterested in the doings of the cleanup crew. "I feel rather bad for the Tornadoes, though."

"They'll get over it," he replied, rolling his head on his shoulders. "Eleven goals. Not my personal best, but pretty darned impressive anyway."

"All that practice during school must've helped."

James groaned a little. "Oh, Evans, please don't say you're still sore I wouldn't let you on the team. You're a professional now, for god's sakes..."

"I'm not," Lily said. "I mean, I am, but that's not what I meant. I just meant it was good you have that background, because it really shows out there."

"Really?" he brightened up. "Heh, I wasn't even doing that well today. I don't know if you can tell," he said quietly, leaning close, "but I took a hit of pot this morning, and I'm a little off my game."

Lily stepped back, revolted. "B-but that is totally against the law! Not to mention B.I.L. regulations!" she sputtered.

He laughed and shoved his hands in his pockets, pulling back. "Relax, Evans, I'm just messing with you. Do I look like that kind of guy?"

"... _not_ funny." She shot him an irritated look.

"James?" Someone tapped him on the shoulder. It was a small, bonde woman who looked to be nineteen or twenty. Blue eyes were set in the center of a cute face. "Are you going to be much longer?"

"Who's this?" Lily wondered out loud.

"Oh," said James. "Evans, this is my girlfriend, Katy Newark. Katy, this is one of the Chasers for the Holyhead Harpies, Lily Evans."

Katy smiled and offered her left hand, which Lily took. "Oh, neat! Are you left-handed? So am I!"

"No, I'm not," Lily said flatly, ignoring James's curious look (sent over Katy's shoulder).

The blonde looked perplexed for a moment, then smiled. "Well, it's so nice to meet another professional Quidditch player. I don't know much about the sport, myself - other than the basics, you know - but ever since I met James I've learned a lot." She smiled at him. "And I want to get to know it even better now! Do you enjoy it very much?"

"I enjoy it enough to pursue a career in it," Lily replied unenthusiastically. Katy looked a bit put off. Before either could continue, though, James stepped in.

"Katy, I'm probably going to be awhile. Why don't you go on by yourself, and I'll go grab my things?" She shrugged, and he pecked her on the lips. "I'll see you at my place later."

Katy Apparated away, leaving the two Chasers there.

James whirled on Lily immediately. "Hey, where do you get off treating her like that?"

"Like what?" she said, indignant. "I was perfectly polite!"

"She was trying to make friends with you, and you just blew her off!"

"I don't know what you expected me to do, Potter." The redhead humphed. "I'm not your mother; I don't _have_ to impress your girlfriend."

"That was still rude," he said.

"Well, _that_ was sick."

James screwed up his face. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." She poked him in the chest, offended. "Everyones knows - you may have though I forgot, but I haven't. You, James Potter, are the biggest serial dater in Britain. I'd be surprised if your relationship lasted another week! What, did you meet her yesterday?"

"For your information, she's an old family friend," James said hotly. "And I genuinely like her. I may've played girls at Hogwarts, but times have changed. So just lay off."

"I don't think you've changed at all," Lily said promptly. She leaned against the wall of the locker room building, crossing her arms. "Sorry, but 'I'll see you at my place'? That just _reeks_ of short-term relationship."

"Have you even had a serious relationship in your life, Evans? Other than me?"

"For_ your_ information," Lily said sourly. "A two-month _fling_ when we were eighteen does not constitute a serious relationship - and _yes_, I have."

"It was _three_ months," he corrected, "and who?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Well, I want to be sure you're not making this up."

Lily growled. "His name was Bill. He was one of the reserve Keepers for the Cannons when I was with them."

James gawked. "You dated a teammate?"

"Er... something wrong with that, Potter?"

"Yes!" he said, flailing his arms. "There's everything wrong with that! What if you fight? What if you break up before game day? Then your focus will be _completely_ lost!"

"So what - you've never dated another Quidditch player?" Lily looked up at him suspiciously. "I don't believe that at all."

"Well, you'd better believe it, because it's true. Besides, Evans, you're too good for a Chudley Cannon, especially a reserve Keeper - they're a dime a dozen." Before Lily could respond, he glanced at his watch and said, "Whoops, it's five already. I'd love to keep chatting, Evans, but I do have friends."

"Nice, go and bother them."

He winked and Disapparated.

Lily sighed.

What a day.


	3. Semantics

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Three: Semantics

Lily found herself more and more drawn to James as time went on. That next Saturday, neither the Harpies nor the Magpies were scheduled to play, so she headed out to one of the games, figuring there was a one-in-three chance she ran into him.

Actually, she wasn't sure why she was all that eager to see him; he aggravated her to no end and had in all the time they'd known each other. It was, she decided, a desire to finish the conversation.

Lily was just fetching herself a hot dog before the game when he showed up, girlfriend at his side. Not a beat passed before Katy – apparently not traumatized by their last encounter – dragged an unwilling James over to say hi.

"Nice to see you again," Lily said through gritted teeth. Katy smiled.

"Have you been watching the teams warm up? They're both really excellent-looking. I don't know which will win; do you, James?"

"Well, babe, we aren't here to see who wins." James's gaze met Lily's. "We're here to meet the competition, aren't we?"

"Well," Lily said, "I'm certain that no matter how hard one team struggles, the best will come out on top." A look of silent agreement passed between the two Quidditch players. It was war.

The game started, and much to Lily's dismay – and, yet, pleasure – the Very Irritating Couple followed her into the stands and found adjacent seats. The blonde sat between her boyfriend and the Harpies Chaser, obvious to any animosity surrounding the two.

"Well, _James_," Lily said loudly. "Tell me, is being in a relationship very _distracting_ to your career? I've been thinking about it _myself_, but I don't think I could _subject_ myself to _all those different people_."

"Well, _Lily_," James ground out, tightening his grip on Katy's hand, "Lately I've found _having a life_ very relaxing. Quidditch is nice and all, but you really can't have a balance lifestyle unless you have _interests_ and _friends_ outside of the sport."

"Well, you certainly have a _lot_ of friends!"

"It's really nice you can share lifestyle advice," Katy laughed. "But, James, your whole life revolves around Quidditch! You met me at a game, remember?"

Lily's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, Katy, is it true? How _romantic_."

"Yes! It was just the first match of the season, actually! We watched the Caerphilly Catapults again your team."

"Oh?" So… he'd met his new girlfriend at Quidditch game two weeks ago, huh? _Old family friend my ass_, she thought triumphantly. "Well, I'm not surprised – _James_ has always been a quick guy." James glared at her over Katy's shoulder.

"Let's talk about something else," he said. "Like the Chudley Cannons. You know Lily used to play for them, babe?"

"Oh," Katy said. "They're my favorite team! What was it like, playing for the Cannons?"

"Well – I was just on the reserve team –"

"Wait," said an old man, who was sitting nearby. He was small, hunch-backed, and toothy. He grinned at Lily, and she recoiled a bit. "Young lady, you're a Chudley Cannon?"

At this loud announcement, twenty pairs of eyes turned toward Lily as their accompanying voices bounced off her.

"_The Cannons are the best! Can I have your autograph?_"

"_I didn't know they accepted chicks on their team!"_

_"Why aren't you at the Cannons game, then?"_

_"The Cannons blow!"_

_"Yeah! Last in league eleven years in a row? I could play Quidditch better than that!"_

"Gee, _James_," Lily said loudly. Her face was turning slightly pink from all the unsolicited attention. "_However do I go about answer all these questions_?"

"Huh?"

"_You're the Montrose Magpie – talk to these people!_"

The crowd turned as if watching a tennis match, and the eyes, now multiplied to fifty pairs, focused instead on James.

"_James? James Potter?_"

"Holy shoot," James said quietly.

"_You never called me back, you jerk!"_ someone threw a sandwich, which narrowly missed Lily.

"Hey!" she yelled. "Get better aim!" Not a good idea.

"_Go to hell! My aim's better than yours, Cannon!"_

_"James Potter is a hottie!"_

_"The Magpies overpay him!"_

_"The Chudley Cannons stink on ice and have really ugly uniforms!"_

_"Boo!"_

"Let's go," Katy suggested nervously.

"That's the first smart thing you've said all day, girl," Lily said evenly. She reached for her wand, but James stopped her.

"You can't Apparate on or off these grounds – don't bother trying. We'll have to walk to the perimeter."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere with you," Lily huffed, "so I don't know what you mean by 'we'."

"No, Lily," Katy said. "Why don't you come with us? I can't help but feel this is our fault, and I'd love to get to know you better. Let's go out to dinner – James and I will buy.

"You know," the redhead replied, "you're really starting to grow on me."


	4. James's Hypocrisy

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Four: James's Hypocrisy

"You know, I never did forgive him for that one," Lily laughed. Okay, so Lily had been wrong – Katy was actually a pretty fun person to be around, especially when she offered to pay for drinks at this hip little restaurant.

Oh, life was good.

"That's hilarious," the blonde said perkily, eyes shining. "Tell us another one."

Lily cast a wary eye toward James. He was sitting across from her, sipping cheap wine. All night he hadn't contributed much to the conversation, only sulked as Lily entertained with tales of his antics at school. Obviously, sitting at a booth with his girlfriend and ex-girlfriend was not how he expected to spend the evening.

"Well," she started thoughtfully, "there is one story about James and Remus."

He looked up at the sound of Remus's name.

"Remus?" Katy repeated. "Remus Lupin?"

He was shaking his head frantically.

"Er – you know him?" Lily raised a brow.

"Know him?" she laughed bitterly. "Oh, I know him. I used to work with him."

"Oh?" James was giving her a look that said, _Please shut up_. Lily ignored it, deciding this was too interesting to let go. "Where was that?"

"Just a little job," Katy said. "Cleaning and odd jobs at a bookstore when I was just out of school. I heard –" she stopped.

"Heard…?"

"Well, he was laid off," James's girlfriend whispered. "And I heard it was because he's… a werewolf."

Lily arranged her face into one of surprise, but inwardly she felt confused. What did that have to do with anything?

"It's awfully frightening," the girl continued. "Working that close to a – well, you know – and never knowing it! I can't help but think he's dangerous. I'd no idea you knew him from school… James, were you friends with him?"

James looked up. Both women were watching him intently, and he knew whatever he said would land him in trouble. The lesser of two evils, he decided. "No. I wasn't friends with him."

Katy was relieved. Lily looked disappointed… and angry.

"Well, that's good. Although I can't see why anyone would risk being friends with a creature like that. I don't understand why he was allowed at Hogwarts."

"Remus is a fine man," Lily said firmly.

"Oh, I'm sure he's a nice _man_," Katy relented, "but that doesn't excuse his _wolf_ side. No – what if he'd bitten someone? It's crazy."

Lily growled into her drink. Why wasn't James saying anything? Remus had been one of his good friends. She didn't know if they still contacted each other – she'd lost a lot of friends after graduation too – but in school James would've done anything to defend his ill companion, including tell off his girlfriend.

It was something he'd certainly done to Lily more than once.

"Well, I doubt this is a good topic to stay on," she said coldly. "How's your drink?"

"The same as yours, I expect." The girl shrugged and didn't seem to notice the new animosity burning in Lily's eyes. "This restaurant is just excellent, isn't it?"

"To be honest," James said loudly, not taking his eyes off the redhead, "it's a little too loud for me. And tacky."

"Well, next time you can go somewhere nice," Lily replied, glaring, "and _I won't bother you_."

"Oh, you're not bothering us." Katy trailed off. The two Chasers glared at each other.

"It's almost eleven," the woman finally observed, glancing at her wristwatch. "I'd better be getting back."

"I'll walk with you to the door," James offered suddenly: a sign saying _No Apparition on premises_ was hung over the entryway.

They stood and weaved their way around tables to the exit, saying nothing. Lily reached for her wand when James said,

"Wait."

"Eugh," she said. "Potter, what is it?"

"Oh, are we back to that?" He crossed his arms.

"You know, we were never _off_ that. What the hell do you want?" she frowned.

"I want to tell you why I said what I did just now."

"I have a pretty vague idea."

"I was _talking_ about Remus."

"That I gathered," Lily replied nastily, sweeping her hair out of her eyes. "Though I don't see why you would. It's not like he's your friend or anything."

"He's not – I mean, not anymore. I still help him out, financially, from time to time, but… Evans, after school the whole group pretty much broke up."

"What a tragedy."

"What I'm trying to get at is – well, Jesus, don't you get it? Katy's from one of those old, traditional families. It'd be weird to date guy who hangs out with werewolves and brothers of known Death Eaters and all that." He looked down. "Her parents are already upset she's dating a Quidditch player. They call me a traveling rogue."

"Rogue," Lily said, "is a pretty good description of you, Potter.

"What I don't understand is how you could possibly date someone with totally different values than you – and lie about who you are, and who your friends are – and expect anything to become of it."

"I don't expect anything to become of it." James started to play with his ring, twisting the gold band around and around on his pinky. "I never expect something to happen. It just happens.

"Everything good that's happened to be has been luck. And that's the truth."

"You are such an idiot," she replied angrily. "What ever happened to the James I knew in school?"

He gave a heavy sigh.

"He's dead and gone."


	5. Sirius Returns

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Five: Sirius Returns

Lily got a letter on February 20.

She was a popular person at school and now at "work", among fans; she received letters daily – some from old friends, others from eager fans or bored reporters.

This particular piece of mail, however, was interesting because it was from Sirius Black, someone she hadn't heard from in an impossibly long time.

It read:

_To Whom It May Concern (and if your name isn't Lily Evans, then it probably doesn't concern you):_

_Long time, no see! It's Sirius, of course, though I'm certain you're wondering why I'm writing you… please just read this entire thing before you shred it up and throw it away. _

_Well, it's been two years. I spent the majority of those two years in Sierra Leone, though that is a story for a different time, when it's not two in the morning and my ink bottle isn't running low._

_I just got back into London yesterday, and I thought I'd ask you to help me celebrate Remus's birthday, which is coming up. If you recall, Remus Lupin has been an extraordinarily good friend to both of us, and I thought I'd throw him a party to help him forget he's getting old. (22!)_

_So if you're still in the UK, which my sources say you are, and you still remember me, and you don't hate me for disappearing without warning… well, send a note back with this bird anytime. I suspect I won't send this until morning, so you can sleep._

_Yours,_

_Sirius P. Black_

Lily smiled. Oh, she and Sirius had certainly had good times together – times she'd all but forgotten about until now.

The redhead grabbed a little page of notebook paper and scribbled,

_Sirius,_

_All this time and no letters addressed from Africa? Well, we can't let Remus down. I've missed you, and it'll be good to see the crew again. Where and when?_

_Lily_

_P.S. Can't do anything on a Saturday – I'm still in Quidditch._

The stumpy black owl peered at her suspiciously as she attached the note to its leg. "Back to Sirius," she whispered. It took off.

--

Mondays were her practice days. At eleven o' clock sharp, Lily Apparated to the practice field, where the Holyhead Harpies were standing around in faded green practice robes. Practice started at noon and worked through the hottest hours of the day, but everyone showed up early to warm up and appear timely. _To be early was to be on time; to be on time was to be late._

"Alright, girls!" shouted the captain, Rosie Arquette. "Line up! Today we're doing drills – and remember, if you don't perform well, there's always a replacement for you on the reserve team!"

"That's comforting," Lily muttered.

"Well, Lily-chan," Rosie said cheerfully, "I'm not here to comfort you! I'm here to whip you sad weasels into shape."

Her teammates groaned. Rosie was cute, short, and highly whimsical, but she was a brutal Quidditch captain. When she said "whip into shape", she was serious – and sometimes literal.

"Alright, stop your complaining and hop up on those brooms of yours!"

To put it lightly, practice was tough.

They ran elaborate plays over and over again, trying to perfect the formations, attacks, and feints that would cut the way to the Cup. Lily found herself working on "lap, landings, and loop-the-loops," as Rosie put it.

"Rosie," she panted, "I hate Quidditch."

The captain looked extremely offended. "Lily-chan! Hate me, not Quidditch. Don't befoul the sport just because you're a little tired."

"I've run twelve laps," Lily pointed out. "_Run_. I realize we have to be in shape, but _twelve laps_? Did you notice our Seeker having a heart attack or was that just my dizzy imagination?"

"Well," Rosie sniffed, "if you'd managed to work up to par I would've cut it back to six laps. But that last mile took you seventeen minutes. Seventeen! You should be able to do it in _at least_ eight."

Lily gritted her teeth, stepped back, and got on her broom. "I swear if we don't get back to working on brooms, I'll fly away."

"You're so funny, Lily-chan."

--

When Lily arrived back at her one-bedroom apartment, the little black owl was sitting on the windowsill, purring. Lily patted it on the head – it snapped at her – and she took the note attached to its wing.

_To Lily_, it read. _It's fine about the Quidditch; I scheduled it on your day off. James said the same thing in his reply._

_We're going to meet in front of the Leaky Cauldron at 5:00 PM next Tuesday, if that's alright, and we'll just improvise from there._

_Yours,_

_Sirius P. Black_

So, James had also been concerned about game day. That was curious – his next game wasn't until March 4th, on the same day as Lily's.

"He must be going to watch," Lily mused aloud. There was nothing odd about that – she was planning to do the same.

Still, Lily couldn't help but feel that something was off.


	6. Remus's Birthday

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Six: Remus's Birthday

Remus Lupin wasn't a good-looking man.

Though he may've been once, his shabby clothing (a faded green robe) and mouse-brown hair and eyes, combined with an average height and build, made him look common-place. The only things striking about Remus were the black circles under his eyes and the two long scars running down the left side of his face.

"You look like you're celebrating your thirtieth," James told him as they met in front of the Leaky Cauldron. "A lot of stress?"

"The usual," Remus replied, nonchalant about his friend's bluntness. "Seen Sirius?"

"Nah." James checked his watch. "He's still got six minutes, give him some time."

"I hope you're not talking about me." The pair turned around to see Sirius, just exiting the pub, holding an ice-cream cone. He was slightly taller than James. His dark brown hair curled down past his ears, and bright grey eyes looked past his bangs. He was dressed in a turtleneck sweat and jeans, contrary to the general wizarding public's habit of wearing robes.

"Hey, Sirius," Remus greeted. "We were, actually."

"Hey, Si." James clasped his friend's hand and shook it vigorously. "Long time, no contact whatsoever."

"You're still my best mate if you're wondering." Sirius winked, and James laughed. "There isn't a great mail system down in Sierra Leone, so I bought an owl as soon as I got back. Remus, how's everything?"

"Not much has changed," the man said vaguely. "I'm a little poorer than I was, but it's not much of a surprise there, eh?"

"I can't say it is."

"Where to, then, birthday boy?" James raised an eyebrow. "It gets dark at seven you know."

"Whoa, whoa," Sirius interrupted. "We're still waiting for a couple of people."

"Like who?"

"Peter and Lily, of course."

"You invited Evans?" James stared, then threw his hands up in distress. "Why'd you do that?"

"Because I like her."

"You're such a brick."

"Maybe I missed something," Remus cut in tentatively, "But why doesn't James want Lily here?"

"Yeah, James – why?"

James crossed his arms over his _Pink Floyd_ T-shirt and stared resolutely over Sirius's shoulder. "I don't want to talk about it."

"About what?"

"Oh, my God." James threw a hand to his forehead. "Nothing. Hello, Lily. Peter."

"Hi." That was Peter Pettigrew. He was a fat fellow with a jovial grin on his face. His yellow hair was slicked back nicely, and he was wearing a polo shirt and slacks. In one hand Peter held an ice-cream cone, and the other held a fistful of napkins. As he nodded to each of his three friends, he spilled ice-cream on his shirt and promptly mopped it up. "Haven't seen you lot in awhile… Sirius, is that a _shadow_? Whew."

Lily, however, didn't say hello. She was wearing a skirt and blouse and had a hand on each hip. She made eye contact with Sirius and smiled, then threw her arms around him.

"I missed you," she said as they engulfed in a hug. "Sirius…"

"That's me," he chuckled, resting his chin on her shoulder. "I missed you too, Lil."

Eyes went back and forth between the two as they parted, smiling. Sirius's arm never left Lily's shoulder.

Stunned silence.

"Oh, my God," James finally said, understanding. "Are you two for real?"

Lily blushed while Sirius shrugged agreeably.

"_Oh_." James made a face. "Oh, God, have you guys _done it_?"

"Er, no," Lily said, turning even redder, "seeing as how he's been on another continent for the past two years."

"I want to, though."

"Sirius!"

"I was expecting you to hate me," Sirius told her.

"I can't hate you for traveling, Si. That's who you are." Lily wrung her hands. "I mean, yeah, I was a little upset, but now you're back and I –"

Remus made a vomiting noise. "Hey, let's stop with the warm-fuzzy-moment and concentrate on me," he joked. "I'm starving. Let's go get something to eat."

"I kind of lost my appetite," Peter said. All regarded him with concern. "Well – I mean – I _am_ on a diet, as well, so…"

"Shall we get steak?" James wondered. "There's a good little place down that way" – he pointed – "so we can walk. I'll buy."

"If you want to witness me eat a raw steak," Remus relented, "I'll go."

"Maybe you can have them cook it just really rare."

"Maybe."

It wasn't long before they found the restaurant. James ordered wine as well as steaks for everyone – except Peter, who ruefully ordered a garden salad.

"So," Remus wondered out loud. "Sirius? Lily? _How long_?"

"Erm, well…" Sirius glanced at Lily, who was attempting to hide behind her wine. "Lil?"

She set it down shakily and started playing with her fork instead. "It was in '79," she said finally.

"Elaborate…" Remus prompted.

"Well, I don't know if you knew, but I was in the hospital for a little bit that year –"

"What for?" James interrupted. His dark eyes bore into Lily's, making her uncomfortable.

"Training accident," she bit out coldly, looking away. "Anyway, he visited me when I was in, and it all started from there."

Sirius put his hand on top of Lily's, making her blush. "It's been kind of on and off since then, you know…"

"Oh, since you were away for two years," Remus deadpanned. "Of course. Long-distance relationships hardly ever work, you know."

"Shut up, Remus."

"Anyway," James cut in, "Let's talk about Remus. Rem, I got you something." He handed his friend a long box.

"Trading cards," Remus said, opening it. "Nice."

"One for every player in the British and Irish League this year. All 91 one of them," James said proudly. "I autographed mine. Should be pretty valuable someday."

"Hey!" Lily said. "Why didn't you tell me? I would've autographed mine."

"Because yours isn't worth anything, Evans."

"Well, ex_cuse_ me."

"You're excused."

Sirius, who had been watching this exchange with morbid curiosity, seemed to remember something. "Oh, Remus," he said, reaching into his pocket. "I forgot, I got you a present too." He pulled a small, slightly-squashed, yellow box with a purple ribbon tied around it and handed it to his friend. "Here."

Remus looked it over. "Oh boy," he said dryly. "A box of condoms."

"Don't have too much fun."

"I probably won't, seeing as these are too small."

"No way." Sirius seized the box back, looked at it, then looked back at Remus. "No way. Magnificent."

Remus turned red. "Yeah, well, I don't want to talk about it."

James snickered. "What are those, size 'tiny'?"

Sirius handed him the box as Lily rolled her eyes. "Not quite."

"Whoa."

"I know, right?"

"Okay, this isn't really something you share with people," Remus protested, grabbing for the box. James held it out of reach, then handed it to Lily. Even she couldn't resist raising her eyebrows.

"That's nice, Remus. Why are you embarrassed?"

"Just – it's –" he growled. "It's a side effect of being a werewolf, okay?"

There was a beat of silence before Sirius said, "I wish _I_ was a werewolf."

They all burst into laughter as James tossed the box to his very embarrassed friend.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thank you for the feedback, it's been astounding. :) God, even though I love this story, I'm already really eager to get it overwith so I can start (yet another) fic! I've been trying out a lot of AU ideas because I noticed that (1) they get more attention than canon, and (2) they're extremely fun to write.

So, here's Remus's birthday party! His birthday is February 25th, if you were wondering. I made that up.


	7. Lame Movie

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Seven: Lame Movie

"Which movie?"

The five friends, slightly drunk and very happy, were in front of a Muggle movie theatre, annoying the attendant as they pondered over which show to see. It was nine o' clock at night, and the sun had long-since set.

"_Dead and Buried_ looks good," the redhead provided.

"I want to see _Dead and Buried_, too," James said boldly, reaching for his wallet. "Oh – hey, Evans, can you lend us some Mu – I mean, English money?"

The attendant raised his eyebrow but didn't comment.

"We're French," Remus told him in an excellent French accent. No one looked surprised – he'd been raised in France.

"Yeah, yeah," Lily said irritably. "You're lucky I have some on me. Five tickets to _Dead and Buried_, please."

"No, no," Peter cried. "Let's watch _The Cannonball Run_. Please."

"Yeah, I kinda like that idea better." Sirius scratched his chin while the "Frenchman" nodded in agreement.

"I want to watch _Dead and Buried_, though." James blinked.

"Well, no big deal," the woman replied. "James and I can get tickets to _Dead and Buried_ and the three of you can see _The Cannonball Run_."

"Lily, are you sure?" That was Sirius.

She smiled. "Yeah, why not?"

--

"That was so lame," James said, wiggling in his seat. The credits had started playing, but he felt too drowsy to go anywhere. Lily didn't move, either.

"I liked the end," she replied quietly, a little shocked by the gruesome movie she'd just watched. "I mean, overall it wasn't great, but the characters were really interesting, and the twist at the end… poor Dan."

"The chick was ugly."

"Well, that's not supposed to matter," she chided.

"So, you and Sirius, huh?"

Lily glanced at him. "Er, yeah, we've gone over this."

He smiled wanly. "Sorry, but I just don't get what you see in him. Is he ruggedly beautiful, or really good in bed or what?"

The woman blushed. "He's a kind person," she said defensively. "Even after all those family troubles, he still manages to keep up a good attitude."

"Well, yeah, I get _that_," James said. "I'm his best mate after all. But what makes you _attracted_ to him?"

"Well, what attracts _you_ to _Katy_?" Lily challenged.

"You want to know what attracts me to Katy."

She nodded, and a hand slid over her knee. "James!" she yelped, looking around. The theatre was empty except for them.

He curled around in his seat and nuzzled Lily's neck, breathing quietly. She was frozen as he said, "Do you _really_ want to know what attracts me to Katy?"

James was still talking about Katy, but as he slid out of his seat to crawl onto hers, running little kisses along her jaw, Lily was thinking only of him.

"Or…" he murmured, pulling back to make eye contact, "…do you want to know what attracts me to _you_?"

"I – er –" she faltered. The man laughed softly and ran his hand through her hair. She opened and shut her mouth silently, and James laughed again, returning to his seat.

"You – you have a _girlfriend_!" Lily sputtered. "And me – and – and _Sirius_ – how dare you?"

"All girls are the same," he told her bitterly. He stood and started moving for the exit, and she followed in haste. "I just happen to be dating one of them. And didn't you and Mr. Sunshine agree to date other people, too?"

"_How_ did you know that?"

"Sirius filled me in while we were in the little boy's room."

"You are such a _pig_!" Lily growled, deciding to ignore this. "How can you even _pretend_ to hit on me when you've got Katy? Which reminds me," she said sourly, "you lied about how long you've known her."

"Like you haven't ever lied before," James sneered. "_Bill_, huh? _Reserve Keeper for the Cannons_? More like Sirius, lazy arse who took off to Africa and _didn't tell you_."

"Bill was _real_," she snapped. They were entering the lobby now. Most movies hadn't ended yet, so it wasn't overly crowded. "So shut up."

"Oh, yeah?" he challenged. "How about your little _training accident_? Not too willing to divulge details, are you?"

"That's my own business."

"And pretending you're right-handed when it's clear you're not," James added. "I don't know what that's all about, but that's _important_ to Quidditch, Evans_,_ if you're going to be throwing the Quaffle around and saying it's your weak hand. People get bonuses for showing off like that, you know that?"

Lily crossed her arms. "You're 0 for 3, James. It just so happens I _am_ right-handed."

"Or –" James stepped closer. "How about why you broke up with me in school?"

There was a pregnant silence.

"Are you _still_ brooding over that?"

He locked gazes with her. "I want to know why you did it."

"Why the hell would you want to know that?" the redhead demanded. "It was _four years ago_, if you lost track of time. Not very significant."

"Just answer. The. Question."

"Oh, my God," Lily said. "Were you in _love_ with me or something?"

"That is _not_ what I said."

"That's what you mean, though, isn't it?"

More silence.

"Yeah, so what if it was?" James, too, crossed his arms and didn't break eye contact. "Why'd you dump me?"

"Because," she replied, heart pounding, "you were irritating, I didn't see you often enough, and you weren't a very good kisser. Happy now?"

"Is that the truth?"

"Cross my heart," she said sarcastically.

He stepped back and started pulling on his ring. It was a nervous habit of his. "Wow, Evans. I never knew you could be so shallow."

Lily shrugged. "I was eighteen. What can I say?" Then it dawned on her. "You're – you're not _still_ in love with me."

And she ventured, "Right?"

"Right," said James. "I absolutely detest you, actually."

He kissed her.

There was a long pause before Lily, eyes wide with shock, pushed him away.

She slapped him.

The sound of the slap resonated throughout the lobby, which was just beginning to fill with moviegoers. No one seemed to notice the pair standing in the middle of the chaos; Lily's expression was clearly one of anger, but James's was unreadable.

"You," Lily said, "really piss me off, you know that?"

"Well, you're not exactly a bundle of joy yourself," he replied, touching his jaw gingerly. "I don't know why I bother with you."

Lily stomped her foot. "Eugh! You're such a pig! You – you – come out here and tell me all about how much of a _liar_ you think I am, then you try to cheat on your girlfriend!"

James gritted his teeth. "You are the most irritating person I've ever met. Anyone else would be flattered."

"Yeah, well, maybe I'm just not into arseholes like yourself!" Lily snapped, and she kneed him in a very sensitive place. His hands flew to the front of his jeans and he fell to his knees, groaning.

"Lily?" It was the rest of "the crew"; Sirius was looking back and forth between his girlfriend and his best friend in confusion, a soda in one hand and popcorn in the other.

"Let's go, Sirius," she said loudly, turning away from an injured James. "I hate Muggle London anyway."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I know, I know... James is a complete jerk! How dare he! . I'm as angry at him as you must be, actually. Really, maybe some people would find that sort of thing romantic (stolen kisses in a movie theatre? Psh) but Lily isn't stupid. He's pretty much making an arse out of himself. Don't worry, though - it takes time for a person to change, and change he will. :)

On _Dead and Buried_: part of my research for this story was to watch this movie, which I hear was released in February 1982 (so it fits the timeline well). I only watched a little bit of the beginning and the last twenty minutes, as well as reading the synopsis, but it was... really, really gruesome for a bad-quality movie -shudder- I think there's a place you can watch online, if you're interested.

Thanks, please review. ;)


	8. Lily's Interview

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Eight: Lily's Interview

"So, Lily – can I call you Lily?" The reporter sat back in her seat in the little teashop just off of Diagon Alley. She was dressed sharply. A woman in her mid-forties, and she held a magical tape recorder in one hand. She appeared to have been in the business a long time, because she was not at all awed or eager to meet the somewhat-popular Quidditch player.

"I suppose so," said Lily, who also leaned back in her chair. She knew the drill. Answer a few questions, say something quote-worthy for a headline, and "accidentally" hint at a topic everyone wanted to read about – a scandal. Any scandal. It made the readers happy, which made the reporters happy. And when the reporters were happy, she could charge big bucks for the interview.

This was one of the few situations Lily considered so carefully. Usually she ignored details and went for the big picture, but interviews were different. How you appear to the public could make or break a sports "star".

One mistake could even start a career-ending landslide of rumors.

"Well, Lily, describe what it's like being a professional Quidditch player. Do you feel satisfied, knowing you're living the dream of virtually every young magical child?"

"Well," the redhead said, smiling a bit, "I know that as a child I certainly didn't want to play Quidditch for a living. I didn't even know it existed!"

The reporter frowned. Everyone knew Lily Evans was a Muggle-born witch, and she made frequent references to it in interviews, though the _Prophet_ tried its hardest not to print those particular quotes, as to note offend the "purer" portion of her fan base.

"But really," Lily continued, "I love Quidditch so, so much… I can't live without it. I could go my whole life with nothing but Quidditch."

The older woman raised her brows. "Well, do you ever feel discriminated against? Downplayed because you're on a team that takes only women?"

"No," she replied. "A lot of people ask me that, but I've never had second thoughts about joining the Harpies. I was actually with the Chudley Cannons in the beginning of my career, so I could be on a gender-equal team if I wanted. I chose not to."

"How did you come to that decision?"

"The Harpies have a lot of potential to win," she said, "and I feel a real dedication to them. So it was a smart career choice for me. They're also located close to home, which is a little bonus if not a comfort."

"How charming," the reporter said dryly. "Well, Lily, do tell us about your personal life. Readers are _dying_ to know. What do you parents think of your profession as a constantly traveling, tomboyish athlete? Your boyfriend? Do you _have_ a boyfriend?" She looked at her loftily, as if in doubt anybody like _this_ could possibly have a boyfriend.

"I wouldn't call myself tomboyish," Lily replied smoothly, narrowing her eyes. She crossed her legs and sipped her tea. "My parents both passed away in 1980, but they got to see me win my first game. They were very proud of me, and I'm sure they would be proud of me today."

"And your boyfriend?" the woman prompted.

"No boyfriend."

"No?" She looked triumphant.

"No. Only a very important friend…" Lily curled her hand into a fist and rested her chin on it, smiling whimsically. "Whom I really like."

"Oh?" The triumphant look was gone, but for the first time that day, the _Prophet_ representative looked curious. "Love scoop" was always a favorite among writers, because article after article could be published – at commission! – following the relationship's progress. And this witch, who had been waiting for a big break and Sunday feature all her life, had stumbled upon a gold mine. She leaned forward with the tape recorder. "Do go on."

"His name is Sirius Black," Lily said fondly.

"The author?"

"That's the one." The Quidditch player smiled. "A while ago, he went off on a trip to Sierra Leone, scouting out some people for his book…"

"Sierra Leone?"

"Yes, that's in Africa."

"I _know_ that." The reporter rolled her eyes. "Continue."

"He was gone for two years, but he recently came back, and I just fell like a bag of bricks for him."

"And he doesn't know that?"

"He does. We're together now, but the relationship isn't monogamous quite yet, so he's not really my 'boyfriend', per se." Lily lowered her voice, so the woman had to lean in to listen. "I'm sort of hoping this article will help move things along," she confessed, "but please don't print that."

"I won't," the reporter promised. There was a flash of understanding between their eyes. "Good luck."

Lily smiled.

"I have one final question, Lily, and it's about your training accident in '79. It was quite famous in the London area at the time."

Lily's eyes darkened. "I don't want to talk about it. Sorry."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'm so sorry for the delayed update. This chapter was really boring for me to type, so I put it off for a really long time in favor of orchestra stuff, etc. You'll find out about Lily's mysterious accident later.

This story has already hit 27 - 28 chapters and _I'm not even halfway done_. I have a feeling it's going to take a very long time, so I might add to _And Nothing But The Truth_ when I get really bored.


	9. Making Progress

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Nine: Making Progress

Lily was reading a book and drinking coffee in the players' lounge at the Quidditch field when James strode up and threw the Daily Prophet on the table. They were both waiting for the game to end; afterwards, two more would be played because the other stadiums were undergoing renovation. She glanced at the paper, shrugged, and sipped her coffee.

"'Evans Still Mysterious About Injury: Foul Play Suspected'," James said. He slid into the chair across from her, putting his elbows on the table. "What's that all about?"

She didn't look up from her book this time, left hand still wrapped around the mug. "You have no idea how many people have interrogated me about this."

"Well, here's one more," he said stubbornly. "C'mon. As if that whole – incident – when you _assaulted_ me a week ago wasn't bad enough, you're going to keep hiding stuff from me?"

"You'll survive," she said dismissively, waving him off, "and it's really irrelevant to your life."

"It is not. I'm supposed to know these things. My captain – and my _sponsors_, mind you – expect me to keep track of _all_ my opponents' weakness."

"Well, you're in luck, because I have none."

"You'd be surprised," he informed her. "I've loads of dirt on you."

"Oh, yeah?" she challenged. "Like what?"

He looked surprised; apparently he hadn't expected her to call his bluff. "Well, that doesn't matter right now. Are you going to tell me or not?"

"Shouldn't you already know? It was all over the London area papers three years ago."

James groaned. "Oh, my _God_, Evans, I wasn't _in_ the London area three years ago in January. I was over _here_, getting _drafted_ by the _Arrows_."

Lily drained her coffee mug casually. "Oh. I forgot."

"Argh!" He flailed his arms. "You are so irritating! Can't a person be curious?"

"Yeah," the woman replied, "but a person can be silent, too." She grinned a little and flipped a page of her book.

James was silent for a moment. "You really don't want to talk about it," he said."

"Nope." She offered him the mug. "Get me a refill?"

He took it and stood obligingly, heading for what Quidditch players had dubbed "Old Faithful" – the old magical coffee machine which only required refilling once a week and reliably dispense strong, boiling, liquid caffeine no house elf needed to serve. As he went, he said, "One of these days, Evans, you're going to have a caffeine crash in the middle of a game."

"That's not what keeps me going," she replied. "I just like the taste."

"Of dirty ground-up beans. Got it."

"Glad you see it my way."

James sat back down, pushing the mug across the table. "I think you're just afraid."

Lily paused and raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

He smirked a little, making her offense bubble. "Oh, you heard me: you, Lily Evans, are afraid."

"Elaborate."

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it? If you talk about an old injury, you appear _weak_. Especially if you didn't even have much of a reason to have been hurt." James sighed, pretending to examine his fingernails. "But honestly I am beginning to think it wasn't such a bad accident."

Lily's eyebrows shot up even more, and she closed her book. "_Excuse me_?"

"There you go again," he said. "You're excused."

"What exactly do you mean by _not a bad accident_? What classifies as a bad accident to you, Mr. Know-It-All?"

There was an almost apologetic shrug. "Look, Evans, everyone's a little afraid of their first fall. My first accident in pro Quidditch, I hit a bird on the way down and got a concussion. Yours couldn't have been horrible."

"I was hit by a Bludger," she said vaguely. "I got a black eye."

He laughed. "Well, that's _hardly_ traumatic."

"I also broke my wrist, arm, and three fingers, dislocated my shoulder, and tore most of the ligaments in my right hand." Lily held her hand up stiffly to show him. "So I guess that answers _two_ of your questions, huh?"

She looked at him with stony eyes, and guilt washed up in James's stomach, making him slightly nauseous. An image of him yelling at her about her hand appeared briefly at the back of his mind. "So that's why you use your left hand to throw the Quaffle."

"Yeah. That's why." She crossed her arms. "Happy now?"

He swallowed. "So you – you, er, got that all from a Bludger?"

"It was a long way down," she said bitterly. He nodded, and she looked even angrier – now that bad memories had been brought forth. "And to make things even _worse_, I _reinjured_ those ligaments when I tried to go back in February, and I was sidelined for three _freaking_ months."

The players' lounge was starting to quiet as athletes, on couches and chairs all around the large room, began to eavesdrop. Lily was burning pink by now, hands clenched into fists. "And _that_," she said loudly, "is why the Chudley _freaking_ Cannons let me go to the Harpies. Because I wasn't useful. Because I wasn't going to fully recover. Do you get it now, James? Do you _get_ why I didn't want to talk about this?"

"I get it," he said, looking down.

"Good," the woman snapped, standing and pushing the Daily Prophet to the floor. "Good. Don't _ever_ ask me about it again." She headed for the door, but before she exited, she turned back to him. "I love Quidditch more than anything else, James."

She left.

"I get it," James said again, tasting the words like cardboard in his mouth. "I just don't get _why_."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So there you have it. If you're still going, "wtf?" then don't worry - Lily's accident will be explained in _full detail_ in chapters 16 and 17.

I have severe writer's block on _WAFILS_... but that's okay, because I have some twenty more chapters to type for you guys while I'm waiting. You probably won't be affected.

(Oh, and I'm feeling very much like updating so you may get two, three, even four chapters today. Aren't you lucky ducks.)


	10. Apology Gone Wrong

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Ten: Apology Gone Wrong

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Sorry for bringing up a topic you didn't want brought up," James blurted. Lily, who had been walking the edge of the field, looked over her shoulder at him.

"It doesn't even matter."

"Yes, it does. It made you angry."

"You don't need to apologize for that," she said, continuing forward.

"Yes, I do." He trailed after her, abashed.

"You know," she said, spinning around suddenly, "I don't understand you at all."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, you heard me. I don't get you. First you're hitting on me, then you're trying to make me tell you about things I _don't_ want to tell you about, and now you're apologizing for it all?" Lily narrowed her eyes. There was a brief, heavy silence in the empty stadium as James contemplated this.

"Well," he said, fiddling with a button on his shirt, "I'm not apologizing for hitting on you."

"That's too bad," she replied snidely. "Because that's the only thing you should be apologizing for."

"I like hitting on you!" he defended, albeit lamely. "It's a privilege."

"One you certainly do _not_ have."

"You know," he said, irked, "it doesn't even matter if I apologize to you. Because we're not even friends."

"At least we agree on something." Lily's eyebrows went up, and she crossed her arms. "So, if we're not friends, why do you insist on following me around like Bambi?"

"Because I like you, Lily." He took her by the hand and gazed at her. "Okay? It may've been four or so years, but you know I don't give up that easily. You know that."

"Sirius," she said before pulling her hand away and walking briskly in the other direction. "Katy!"

"Katy doesn't matter!" he pleaded, jogging after her. "And I love Sirius, but he's not even that interested in you! He's got about three other girls to go out with…"

"Sirius," Lily said, turning around again – James almost ran her over – "happens to be a great person." She jabbed him in the chest with her finger. "So what if he's dating other people? Everybody's dating other people. It's called having _options_. Something," she added, "you seem to favor."

"I never go out with more than one person at a time," he protested. "In fact, I allow a mourning period of one week after every break up."

"Apparently not here, when you're working in advance."

James growled with frustration. "_Please_, Lily. You just said everybody is dating other people. I'll dump Katy if she bothers you so much, and then it'll be fine!"

"Yeah," the woman snapped, "because it'll be fine to see a guy and his best friend at the same time. Do you have no concept of anonymity? Do you know what kind of bad press that'll get me? And has it occurred to you that perhaps I'm just not interested in you?"

"But you are," he said softly. "You know I'm a great guy, Lily. And I'm a Quidditch player to boot. Didn't you say you love Quidditch more than anything else?" He moved closer, and suddenly they both realized what a small space they were sharing. But instead of moving away, he brought a hand up to touch her jaw.

"We don't have to worry about anything," he breathed.

Lily shivered. "Don't touch me."

"I'm sorry." The hand dropped back to his side. "I just – sorry."

"You don't get it," she said. "I'm disposable. If I date you again, I'm one of the crowd. I'm another girl who's been with you, that's all. Two, three weeks, I'll be just like Katy." Lily looked up to the sky. "I can't do that to myself again."

"Too much self-respect, right?"

"Er – _yeah_, actually."

"I get it," James said bitterly. "You don't want to be another fling, another 'been-there-done-that'. You think I'll just dump you like all those other 'clueless' girls."

"That's just the way it is, James."

He stared at his feet. "You want to know something? Most girls dump _me_, not the other way around."

"Well," Lily said, not sure where this was going, "that's unfortunate. Really. But –"

"You know why?" he continued.

"Er…"

"It's because they hear rumors: rumors about how many _people_ I've been with, how many _things_ I've done, how many girls I just _discard_, and they get scared."

"To be fair, most of that really applies to you."

"Yeah." He touched Lily's shoulder tentatively, almost pleading with her. "But I wish there was someone who would just ignore that and see me for me, not for my history. I thought you were that person."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you. I'm not." She took a step back. "There's a huge difference between dating some stranger and dating a person you've known forever. With a stranger, you can run away; but with the person you've known forever, you could destroy everything you've _ever_ held about that person to be true."

"You're avoiding the subject!"

"No, _you're_ avoiding the subject!" Lily balled up her hands and glared at James, fuming. "It wouldn't work, okay? That's what I've been trying to tell you! You said yourself we weren't even friends, and we _aren't_."

There was a beat of silence. James looked defeated.

"Just – stop talking to me about this," she said angrily before jogging off toward the locker rooms. He didn't even bother to follow her.

He'd given up.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This chapter was sooo nauseating to type. It's one of those where I wrote about a paragraph a day, not really thinking about what I'd written before, so it was very choppy when it came to mood/dialogue. As I was typing, I tried to weave it back together into something more fluid... tell me if I did a good job. xx


	11. Sirius Surrenders

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Eleven: Sirius Surrenders

"Sirius."

"Hm?"

The two friends were at Sirius's place, sharing beer and watching old action movies. It had been more than a week since James's argument with Lily, but she had apparently not told Sirius about it, since his old friend was saying nothing.

"Why are you seeing Lily?" James gripped his sweating beer can, eyeing the other man warily.

Sirius raised an eyebrow coolly, leaning on the arm rest of the sofa. "You know why."

"Are you really into her, though?"

"To be honest? Yeah, I like her." The author grinned naughtily. "You know I've never really needed more than one girl, anyway. The other girls are just friends who wanted dates, really. I haven't done anything."

James _harrumphed_. "So why do you keep her thinking otherwise?"

Sirius blinked and rested his beer on his knee, musing. "I guess I just am intrigued as to why she hasn't brought it up. Between you and me, though, mate," he added, "It looks like it's gonna work out."

James slumped in his seat. "Jesus… okay, we're best friends, right?"

"Right."

"And we tell each other everything, right?"

"Right… what's with all these questions? Cut to the cheese."

"The _chase_."

"Right, that too. Cut to the chase."

"Okay, I fancy Lily."

There was a pause. Sirius sipped his beer then patted his friend on the back. "I knew there was something, mate."

James looked over, confused. "You did?"

"It's as obvious as the day is long."

"It is?"

"It is." Sirius grinned a little. "Well, it screws me over a bit, but I have nothing over you in any respect, James, so you can have her."

The Quidditch player blinked. "Just that easily?"

"Well, you owe me one huge favor, but yeah. I'll tell her I don't think seeing each other is a good idea…"

"Sirius." He looked distressed. "Mate, that might now work. I don't think you can just do that."

The man took this in, musing. There was a long silence before he responded, brushing his hair out of his eyes in a fluid motion. "It's fine, James; I think we'll both survive. There's nothing more I can do, and we're better off as friends, anyway. She has you, and I have… well, I have Kreacher, I guess," he said as an afterthought. Sirius hated Kreacher the house elf but at least there was someone around to do chores.

James laughed bitterly. "Wow, and here I was thinking you were my biggest obstacle. If everything goes this easily –"

"Oh," Sirius said gaily, "it won't."

James blinked.

"What?" Those grey eyes glanced at him slyly. "Did you think my stepping aside would make things better? Mate, you should know by now that Lily is one hard fish to reel in." There was a bit of laughter.

"Sirius, I'm honestly concerned for your mental health," the Quidditch player told him, looking slightly disturbed at Sirius's wicked expression. "I mean I'm really, really concerned."

"Be concerned all you want," he laughed doggishly, setting his beer down. "I'll be happy to oversee this, you know. But unless you just want to be rebound boy, I suggest you allow her a mourning period of – oh, three weeks?"

James nodded. His friend had always been oddly knowledgeable about these things; perhaps it was because he was an author, and he stored away all experiences for later use in his books. "When are you going to talk to her?"

"Tonight." At James's startled look, he explained, "Might as well when I get the chance. I'll just tell her the truth: we're better off as friends."

"I… owe you a lot, you know that?"

"More than you think I do," Sirius agreed. They glanced at each other, and a look of deep understanding passed between the two.

This is what best friends were for: to sacrifice for the other when he needed it most, to support him in all his decisions, and to ask for help when it was truly required. James and Sirius were just that.

And neither was more grateful for anything in the world.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Awww. That last line is all gooey and fluffy... and if you've ever had a best friend, a real BFF, who you truly, truly love as deeply as James and Sirius did each other... then you understand. I love my best friend! -melodramatic sob- So this a mini-tribute to you, Xavier. Suck it up because it will probably never happen again. Ha ha ha.

The dialogue for scenes with two people of the same gender is really difficult for me, because you can't go "he said/she said". It has to be "James said/Sirius said" or something similar or else you can't really know who is speaking... which makes it super difficult not to sound repetitive! Tell me if I'm sounding too repetitive here so I can work on it!

Thank you for all the feedback. I think I'm going to keep updating tonight because I'm having SO MUCH FUN.


	12. The Important Game

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Twelve: The Important Game

It was a testament to Lily's emotional stability that she didn't let the loss of Sirius interfere with her Quidditch playing. James got to see this first-hand the next Saturday, March 18, when the Magpies and the Harpies played each other for the first time that season.

That was how the league worked: each of the 13 teams played every other team once, and the top 8 teams moved on to playoffs. Since more than half went to playoffs, it was generally frowned upon to _not_ make it.

In playoffs, the eight teams were cut down to four, then two. Those top two would battle for the coveted British and Irish League Cup, and the winner of the Cup represented the B.I.L. in the tournament for the World Cup.

It was certainly a long, difficult struggle, but one worth working through.

So far, both the Magpies and the Harpies had remained undefeated, and the winner of this game would tie for first with the Appleby Arrows. The loser would be shunted down to third. It was an important game.

The Harpies took the field first, seven women in dark green robes, hair either pulled back or cropped short. They flew a lap around the pitch, waving to fans before taking up their position on the north side of the field.

Out of the opposite entrance flew the Magpies – all men – dressed in startling white robes with black sleeves and hoods.

They, too, circled the pitch proudly before making an arc to face the Harpies.

Tension grew in the air.

The whistle! and the Quaffle was up, quickly followed by two metal Bludgers and, finally, the Golden Snitch, which disappeared from sight almost immediately.

Lily seized the Quaffle first, tucking it under her left arm and dipping under the disgruntled Magpies to zip toward the other end of the field. She saw her fellow Chaser, Karen, up ahead – but in her peripheral vision she also saw James, ready to intercept if she tried to pass.

She asked her broom for a little more speed. He responded as well, pushing his broom – a better model than hers, thanks to her shallow-pocketed sponsor who didn't keep up with broom standards at all. There he stayed, just behind her right shoulder, knowing that if she threw the ball, it would fly right into his hands.

"Get away from me!" she shouted, pulling suddenly to the left.

"Not a chance!" he yelled back, following. She braked and dove a little lower to the ground, dropping the Quaffle to a teammate who skimmed the grass.

"Damnit!" James swerved up and to the right, breaking away from Lily and toward the goal posts, ready to intercept or receive a pass from his Keeper if need be. Lily made to follow, but a Bludger chose that moment to whiz by her ear, narrowly missing knocking her head off.

"Okay," Lily growled to herself. "So some Beater's got a death wish." She lifted up in the air, moving about thirty-five feet above the ground.

"Lil?" That was Rosie, the captain, stopping briefly at her side. "You okay? That was close."

"Yeah," Lily said, focusing on the Quaffle. "I'm fine."

"You want me to shadow you?"

"No."

A bell rang somewhere. They'd scored! _"10 to 0, Harpies,"_ a commentator announced. "_Potter's got the Quaffle; no sign of the Snitch at this point in the game_."

James sped toward the other side of the field, swearing when a woman half his height viciously clubbed a Bludger in his direction. He tried to evade it, but it made contact, spinning his broom out from underneath him. He grabbed control, dropping the Quaffle, which sank into the waiting hands of –

He sighed with relief. It was another Magpie. He threw the Quaffle to the side into the arm of his teammate, who sped a little closer and hurled it at the hoops.

Blocked.

"Damn," James said to himself, watching as the female Keeper smiled smugly. The ball, blocked by an arm, arched back to the center of the field.

It was that way for awhile: back and forth, thrown and passed and heaved and dropped only to be knocked out of a triumphant Chaser's hands or tumble aimlessly through a goal as the Keeper silently berated him or herself.

Soon, it was tied. 60 to 60. The commentators were having a ball.

"_Johnson has the Quaffle – he passes to Potter, Potter flips it back to Johnson – score! 10 points to the Montrose Magpies!"_

_"McGovern returns the Quaffle to the Harpies, no telling what now, folks – _ooh_, Miss Rachtman, Chaser for the Harpies, takes a nasty one to the shoulder aimed from David Whitmen –"_

_"You know, despite David's youth he is _not_ the youngest player on the team -"_

_"- no, sir, that would be Mr. Potter down there, the rookie."_

_"21 years old, the baby of the team, just got traded to the Magpies this year, and girls, I hear he's single!"_

_"_I'm not!" James yelled as he flew past the announcer's box.

"_Oops, correction! James Potter is _not_ available, pity -"_

_"Well, Bill, let's just focus on the game, shall we?"_

_"Oh, right, right -"_

Suddenly, out of nowhere, he saw the Quaffle: sinking down in the air like a rock through mud, just there, only twenty feet away, and if he could reach it, he'd make his first goal all day.

- but Lily was there too, and he did the first thing that came to mind: he grabbed the handle of her broom, pulling her back. A lost opportunity. The Quaffle was captured by another Magpie, who flew off.

Lily, startled by the sudden slowing of her broom, seized the handle with both hands, pushing violently away from James, and rolled to the side and away. Before either could say a word, the whistle rang.

The game was over.

The Montrose Seeker, Jacob Lao, held the Snitch triumphantly in the air, moving back toward the ground as the crowd cheered.

Lily and James landed and dismounted, the former burning up with fury, the latter with horror at what he'd done. The woman sought out one of the referees on the sidelines, pushing past the joyful Magpies and her own disappointed teammates.

"Ref – ref -" she called, trying to get her attention over the thunder of the stadium.

"Yes?" The referee, a bored-looking woman in stripes, turned to her, rolling her eyes. When Lily didn't respond immediately, she growled, "Can I _help_ you?"

"Er, yes." Lily swept her hair out of her eyes: it was falling out of her ponytail and sticking to her goggles. "One of the Chasers for the Magpies, James Potter, fouled me during the game. He grabbed my broom."

Out of the corner of her eye she could see James, looking her over with worry – well, he deserved it. He _had_ fouled her, after all.

"So?" the annoyed referee snapped.

"So," Lily stressed, "shouldn't he get a penalty?"

"Look, honey, the game's over," she was told bluntly. "Nothing – not even a little penalty shot – would've stopped Montrose from winning, so why don't you just suck up the loss with the rest of your team?"

Lily ground her teeth in frustration. "I don't think you get it. A penalty would've halted the Seeker from going after the Snitch – it would've completely changed the -"

"Lily!" Rosie seized Lily by the arm and smiled brightly. "Why haven't you joined in on our pep talk? Lord knows we'll need it to beat the Chudley Cannons next time!"

The ref smiled, and Rosie dragged her Chaser away.

"What are you on about?" Lily demanded once they were out of earshot. "The Cannons are the worst team in the League, you know that."

"Don't argue with the judges," Rosie told her softly.

"The team isn't even having a talk, Rosie."

"Don't," the captain repeated firmly, "argue with the judges. That's the last thing we need right now."

"Potter _fouled_ me," Lily tried again.

"Too bad. Those are the same people who will be deciding whether we win or lose the Cup, so you better start kissing arse, Lily-chan." Upon seeing Lily's horrified look, she added, "Besides, it's just one little loss."

The redhead sighed. "Yeah… one little loss… I have no idea how you can even _say_ that."

"Lots of practice," Rosie replied sadly.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate it.

Can I share a secret with you all? ... I hate the word "shag". I always thought it sounds very tacky when people use it in their stories. But to each her own. I'm not criticizing anyone in particular. x

I have a question. What do you think of my B.I.L. system? Tell me! I want to know! I put a lot of effort and research into the Quidditch part of this story, so I'm interested to see if others think it's realistic/interesting at the very least.

Byeeee!


	13. A Devious Plot

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Thirteen: A Devious Plot

At eight o' clock on the next Saturday, there was a timid knock ringing in Lily's ears. She groaned, rolled out of bed, and padded to the door, flinging it open and yawning.

Then she blinked the sleep from her eyes.

James was standing outside her apartment.

It was raining – his hair and clothes were sopping wet – and he was stammering. "Lily, I'm so glad you're awake, I –"

She closed the door, smoothed down her hair, and opened it again. He was still there, a shocked expression on his face.

So she _hadn't_ been hallucinating.

"Yes?" Lily finally said.

"Look, I'm really sorry about last week," he blurted, apparently regaining his wits. "So I want to make it up to you and I didn't have an owl and –"

"How did you get my address?" she demanded, still a little startled.

"Your captain. Lily – your – er – your clothes…"

Slightly calmer, she looked down. "Oh. These."

"These" was an evil word to James. "These" meant a T-shirt and orange panties. Orange! He wondered how long she'd had them. He wondered how long she would have them. He wondered if she'd let him borrow them…

His mouth was almost watering as he took it all in. "I – er – don't suppose you'd want to go to a game today?" He cleared his throat. "I mean, obviously, to make it up to you – er – about – well, I guess you have other things to do, er –"

"No," Lily said softly. "I have to go change my clothes – if you'll just… wait." She started to play with the hem of her oversized T-shirt, and James's jaw dropped as he caught sight of even more leg.

"Although," she added, "you look like you might want a change of clothes also."

_I might need new jeans in a minute_, James thought wildly.

"Make yourself at home," the woman told him, sweeping a hand in the direction of her sofa. He settled down immediately, looking extremely nervous in his casual clothing.

"Thank you," he managed to croak.

"I'll just be a minute," she promised, shutting herself in another room.

Lily screamed silently once she was out of sight. James was in her house. _James_ was in her _house_. Despite all the bad things to happen to her, Fate had to throw her in to this – this _situation_.

It was unbelievable.

It was _frightening_.

Lily took a few minutes to slow her breathing and think. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all. Maybe they could make peace, or…

…a wickedly triumphant smile slid over Lily's face.

What an opportunity. Now as long as she was careful, she could have sweet, sweet revenge – and there was nothing James could do about it. He had practically offered himself up for retaliation, showing up like this.

"It's almost too easy," she murmured to herself as she changed, brushed her teeth, and fluffed up her hair. Her new outfit was less revealing – obviously – but stunning enough to move the plan along: a bright red halter top and high-waist jeans.

"The 80s were never so beautiful," Lily told her reflection.

"The 70s were better, darling," the mirror replied. Unaffected, Lily dashed out of the room.

"Ready to go, James?"

"Yeah," he said, looking immensely relieved that she had returned fully clothed. He stood, and together they headed for the door. Lily locked it behind her with a few charms, then they Apparated.

"I'm really glad you decided to go with me," James said earnestly as they paid admission. "I've been a real jerk to you. I want to make up for that."

Lily's heart thumped. _Stick to the plan_, she chided herself. "Well," she said in what she hoped was a seductive tone, "I can't help but forgive you… of your sins…"

_Damn, am I overdoing it?_

"Lord knows I've got enough of those," he joked. Immediately realizing the implications of the statement, he stuttered, "Er – that's not what I –"

"James." She laid a hand on his arm. "James… I like a guy with a few sins under his belt." She winced inwardly when she heard how that sounded, but James didn't seem to notice.

"Really?" he breathed.

"Really," Lily said through lidded eyes. She knew she was laying it on thick, but it seemed to be working to her advantage.

"Then, maybe I could…" James leaned in a bit, but Lily never found out what he could do – because just then, an usher tapped her on the shoulder.

"Miss? Sir? Please find your seats."

"Er – yes," Lily replied stupidly, looking at her ticket.

"Seat 34, Row C. Should be this way," James said. "I know this stadium like the back of my hand."

"Great stadium," Lily agreed absent-mindedly before realizing she'd dropped the seductive persona. _Oh, damn_. This was tougher than she'd expected; she would have to double her efforts if this was ever going to work!

There was some silence as they watched the competing teams – Puddlemere United and the Wimbourne Wasps – make their way onto the field.

"Puddlemere looks good this year," James commented.

"Yeah."

"Mud brown's not really doing it for me, though. How do they know if their robes are clean?"

Lily just raised her eyebrow. "It's fantastic to know there are still men with fashion sense."

"I heard they're working on a new move?" He cast her a sideways glance, not really absorbing the comment.

"Oh, yes," she said enthusiastically, excited to be talking about Quidditch. It was both their area of expertise, after all. "They used it against us on the fourth. Kind of a variant of the Hawkshead… it was brilliant."

"They always had a rather innovative captain."

They were plunged into silence again.

"I broke up with Katy," he offered.

"Oh," she said, trying to look secretly please. It turned out as more of a grim smile, which irked her. But Katy really had deserved more from James. _I guess it's time for Plan B…_

"You know, James," Lily said quietly, "I have something to confess."

"You do?" he blinked.

"Yes. And I really wanted to tell you first."

"You did?"

"_Yes_. You see, James, the truth is… I – I may have feelings for…" she choked a little on her words and stared at her feet. James leaned in, eyes wide and expectant.

"This is really difficult to say," she murmured.

"Lily…"

"I… may have feelings for…"

"_Lily_…"

"David Whitmen!" she blurted, a spark of triumph in her eyes. He drew back, obviously disappointed.

"David Whitmen?" he repeated, a wrinkle forming in his brow. "The Beater for the Magpies?"

Lily nodded vigorously. "Yep… good ol' David."

"But… he's gay."

Her face flushed. _That_ certainly had never been printed in the fan magazines. "Well, that just makes him who he is. Besides, I heard he's… bisexual?"

"Wow, Lily. I never thought he was your type." James fixed her with a suspicious look. "When did you ever meet him?"

Oh, damn. She hadn't really thought about that. "Well – it's more of – of admiring him from afar –"

"Oh, no need to explain," James cut her off, the beginning of a smile on his mouth. "I'm glad you said so. I'll introduce you to him!"

"You will?" She bit her lip.

"Yeah," he said amiably. "After all, I did say I would make everything up to you, right?" He patted her shoulder. "What better way?"

"Right," Lily said feebly. Oh, her life never went the way she wanted it to.

Casually brushing a lock of hair from his eyes, James added, "Actually, he might be up in the announcer's box _right now_." He grabbed her hand, startling her out of her seat. "I hear he likes that kind of stuff, announcing –"

"- oh – oh – does he?"

"- so let's go look!"

Before Lily knew it, she was being swept through the bleachers, right hand crunched up in James's left (that irritated her to no end) and up past the private boxes, then the cheap seats. He headed for the highest part of the stadium (the part no one likes to sit in) where the announcer's box was located. Lily tripped over feet, concrete steps, abandoned takeout boxes and small children as he carelessly pushed his way upwards.

"James – Potter! Stop!" she cried when they'd finally reached the cold tunnel at the top. It led to the box, the celebrity suites, the food court and all the good things a Quidditch stadium should have. It was just inconveniently located on the floor plan.

"What, Lily?" he dropped her hand, looking not-so-genuinely confused. "I thought you wanted to meet David."

"I –"

"He's twenty-three," James added as if this were very important. "An older man. I know you like older men. Isn't that why you don't like me?"

"You're only a month younger than me," she reminded him. _Holy cow, he's off his rocker, isn't he? He's probably going to kill me in this empty tunnel!_

"Oh, silly me. I forgot."

_He's going to kill me, I'm going to die, I'm going to die…_

But her life wasn't flashing before her eyes. Actually, nothing was really happening at all. James was just looking at her with frustration.

"You're such an _honest_ person, Lily," he finally said, making to turn away.

Lily sighed in defeat (and perhaps relief). "Okay, you can cut the sarcastic attitude. I lied. Happy now?"

He looked at her blankly, a little bit of pain just seeping into those hazel eyes. It took her by surprise – it really shouldn't have, but it did. "Not quite."

Suddenly he was just up next to her, hands brushing against hers but never quite holding on. "I know _why_," he said softly, pressing their foreheads together.

Her breath hitched in her throat as their gazes mingled, something that was – not quite right. His eyes were still cold, unflattered, like a wall that had come very close to breaking except no one pushed it _quite_ hard enough.

"You've always been a talented person, Lily," he said earnestly, "but you've never been a good actor."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I added a little bit to this chapter to make it flow more smoothly. I hope it worked. .

I really like this chapter for some reason, but I'm having a bit of an inward debate about whether I want the next one to stay the same, so updating may take a while... I'm so sorry. :(


	14. Our Carelessness

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Fourteen: Our Carelessness

Emotions, thoughts, and feelings ran along Lily's veins as he kissed her, conflicting and sending lightning bolts up and down the lines of her body. They pressed together, somehow now against the cold, stone wall, her hands entwined habitually in his hair.

It was like old times. A wave of nostalgia mixed with guilt spread across her conscience, and she broke away, panting a little.

"James, it's –" she didn't even know what she'd been planning to say, but apparently he didn't care, pressing his lips against hers again.

Years of pent-up confusion and frustration was poured out in front of them. What only lasted a few seconds seemed like an eternity.

He pulled back, his face tinted pink.

"Well, that went better than I thought it would," he admitted, envisioning himself being thrown off the roof of a Quidditch stadium or pummeled to death by a woman half a foot shorter than him.

"Did you bring me up here to snog?" she wondered quietly.

"Er, I'm not really sure," James replied. His hands were still against the wall on either side of her; hers were playing with the neckline of his T-shirt as she stared at his collarbone, but neither made a move to pull away.

After some thought the redhead decided, "You've significantly improved."

"Well, I did have six years to figure it all out," he said, moving in for another kiss. She rose to meet him, eyes slamming shut as they pressed closer. All the hostility had melted away, and now there were only a couple of Quidditch players with a great deal of sexual tension and the opportunity to let it play out.

She would regret it later. That was usually how Lily operated – everything on a whim. Details – excuses – systems – could be worked out later when there was more time for contemplation.

And right now, he wasn't Potter, a too-insistent man with crazy ideals and the personality of steel wool. He was _James_, and he was someone she could be with right then and there.

"You know," Lily said as they separated again, "I really miss dating you."

"The feeling's mutual," James replied, closing his eyes as he gently explored her collarbone. She made a short "meep" sound, and he laughed.

"And I don't even want to watch Quidditch that – that much," she stuttered.

"Oh." His eyes snapped open. "_Oh_."

* * *

"James?"

"Hm?"

"Are you awake?"

He didn't respond for a minute.

"James?"

"Yup, I'm awake."

"I have to say something…"

"Shoot."

"I never do things like this," she told him.

"I know."

"I mean, this isn't really what I had in mind when I agreed to spending the day with you," Lily admitted, clutching the sheets to her neck. "It was more like getting sweet, sweet revenge, so I hope you don't think I was planning to…"

He turned over and stretched out lazily, yawning. "Well, I certainly envisioned it." James grinned cheekily and ran a hand down one bare arm, noting that he'd lost his wristwatch somewhere in the process. It was probably under the bed, but he didn't feel like checking. "What time is it?"

"Six AM," Lily replied, blinking at the clock on the wall. "Do you have to go?"

"No, it's Sunday." He curled up under her blankets, wrapping an arm around her waist. She sighed and turned inward to face him. "I can stay as long as you'll let me."

"I really feel like sleeping in all day," she admitted.

"Do you have a roommate?"

"No. Even if I did, the bedroom door's locked," Lily replied sleepily, closing her eyes. "I just have a habit of waking up at the same time every morning, that's why…"

James smiled. "Then we'll sleep in."

"You sure?"

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure," she told him, smiling a bit.

Things were going rather beautifully for him, he thought as Lily curled against his bare chest. Swimmingly, in fact. _Lily is such an astounding person_. He puked inwardly. _That was a really corny thought_.

"Being an adult rocks," he murmured – not for the first time – before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Oh, God, it's so horrible. It's short, it's quick, it's... pretty much everything I didn't want in this chapter, yet the only thing I could think of despite multiple attempts to rewrite this. This is the big "transition", so to speak, of the story. We finally go from thirteen pages of setting the scene to at least another fifteen of what I actually wanted to write. Hopefully I didn't fail TOO hard.

And I know what you're thinking - wtf, why did Lily just do that. Errr, because she can. Sometimes when you're in a situation you don't really think about the consequences, you're just like, "YEAH, LET'S GO!" :D :D :D Which can turn out very poorly. Especially if you're a character in a fanfic written by an insane author.

Review. (Be gentle, be gentle, be gentle please. x-x)


	15. James's Birthday

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 15: James's Birthday

"James."

He grunted and turned over, burying his nose in his pillow.

"_James_."

After a beat of contemplation, he mumbled something that sounded vaguely like, "Go away."

"James _wacking_ Potter!"

James opened his eyes blearily to see Sirius standing over him, a wearily disapproving expression on his face. "Er?"

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Sirius demanded.

"No. Where am I?"

"You're on my couch," his friend told him. Upon further investigation, James confirmed this to be true. He had no bleeding idea how he got there, though, so it was really rather odd. "And it's two in the afternoon."

"That's so weird," James said, closing his eyes.

"Go back to sleep, and I'll pummel you."

"Why, Snuffles?" He didn't move.

"Because you've been asleep _all day_, that's why." Sirius sighed angrily. "And your incessant snoring is keeping me from finishing a very important chapter."

"In what? _White Sheep of My Family: An Autobiography_?"

Sirius punched him.

"I'm tired."

"Too bad."

James blinked, his temples pounding as something occurred to him. "Why am I here?"

"Beats me. Just get out of my apartment."

"Okay, okay, I'm going. But really, how'd I get here? Last thing I remember is being with Lily…"

Sirius screwed up his face. "_Ew_. Please, don't elaborate. You got drunk at a karaoke bar last night if you don't recall, and for some – some – unfortunate reason, you crashed here."

"But I hate karaoke."

"Obviously." His friend nudged him. "Get up. You're going to be late for practice, anyway."

"What?!" James's eyes widened, and he rolled off the sofa, a panicked look spreading across his face. "Sirius, what day is it?"

"Monday, March 27," the author replied flatly, not at all sympathetic for his friend. "You know, James, you're quite the singer. Couldn't get you off the stage, actually. _Hotel California_ and… was it… _Bus Stop_?"

"Oh, my God!" James flailed his arms, glancing around the apartment for his glasses. They were on the coffee table, cracked, but he took this in stride, muttering a hasty _occulus reparo_. "You let me sing _Hollies_? And I _enjoyed_ it?"

"Happy birthday."

"_Why don't I remember any of this?_"

"You were _drunk_," Sirius repeated, crossing his arms. "Didn't I already say that?"

"I'm going to get fired!" James cried as he pulled on his boots – the wrong way, incidentally. He switched them around before saluting an irritated (yet slightly amused) Sirius. Without another word, he Disapparated.

Sirius stared at the spot his friend had stood for a moment, as if expecting him to come back, then breathed a sigh of relief. "God," he muttered, "what am I? His mother?"

"Er…" Remus appeared in the doorway of Sirius's kitchen, a bemused expression on his face. "Was that James just now?"

"Yeah, he was late for Quidditch practice," the author said nonchalantly.

"But didn't his captain _just_ Floo and say practice was cancelled?"

Sirius shrugged. "What the hell," he said wickedly. "It got the little bugger out of my house."

"Hm. That's not very nice."

"…when the hell did you get here, anyway?"

* * *

Practice was cancelled on account of rain.

A lot of rain.

"Damn it, Sirius," James growled, now quite awake, and able to see through his rapidly fogging glasses that he was wearing his uniform backward anyway. Some birthday.

He trudged off the pitch and into the separate building which served as the players' lounge and lockers. Settling himself into a chair with a _squoosh_, James prepared for one long, cold day at the stadium.

Because honestly, he didn't have anything better to do.

He thought back to the events the previous Saturday – oh, God. Even if he and Lily had spent that Sunday morning together, sleepily saying good-byes before he apparently went off with his friends to get trashed – it was obviously an impulse move for her. And as much as he _liked_ that, after some consideration it was a pretty stupid decision on his part.

That's how he'd screwed up their last go at a relationship. Sure, she attributed it somewhat to her pickiness, but it was true that he didn't spend a lot of time with her – Quidditch got in the way, and he was too damn shy to make the first move _every_ time and ask her out – and the time they _did_ have together… well, it was mostly to mack.

Which apparently she didn't enjoy as much as he thought she did.

And what made it worse – unbearably worse – is that even after three months, which he'd spent trying to understand her, and meet her needs, and make her happy – after three months of matching up little quirks and details so he could figure out the definition of Lily Evans – he'd failed to mention one little fact.

_Oh yeah, I'm kind of in love with you_.

Which was horrible, because boys don't just _fall in love_ with girls after three months of nothing.

And girls definitely don't fall in love _back_.

James was torn up in these thoughts, running his hands frustratedly through his soaked hair, when the one person he didn't want to run into at that moment – well, ran into him.

Literally – she rushed through the players' lounge, cup in hand, and tripped over him and his chair, spilling scalding hot coffee all down his shirt.

"Fu –" he released a very powerful curse word.

"Oh, my God," Lily cried, immediately trying to sop it up (his rain-soaked shirt didn't help the cause). "I'm so sorry, James, I didn't know anyone was here; I'm such a klutz."

"Why on earth are you here on a Monday?" he asked, squeezing his eyes shut in pain and trying not to feel too undignified.

"I had practice earlier, and I left my gauntlets in the ladies' locker room, so I came to pick them up."

He nodded, standing.

"You okay?"

"I'm okay." _Kind of_.

They stood there then, an awkward silence passing over them. Eye contact was avoided at all costs, it seemed, as both seemed to realize the questions that must have been stirring since they'd last seen each other.

_Oh, God,_ James thought. _I'm an arse, I'm an arse, don't say something arse-like…_

"Long time, no see."

_Holy s–! Yeah, rub it in that you haven't – and wouldn't – contact her after a one-night stand!_

He was pretty bad at not being an absolute jerk.

"Er, yeah," Lily replied, rubbing the back of her neck. "Erm… God, how do I put this… this is really awkward?"

James joked feebly, "Well, awkwardness really is my specialty."

She tried to smile at this, but it came out as more of a grim acknowledgement. The air was heavy with unmarked assumptions, queries that would never be pursued. "Well," she said finally, holding up a pair of gauntlets, "I'd better get going."

"Wait," he said. "It's my birthday."

* * *

"I'm so old," James said miserably, staring into the mirror. "So, so old."

"It could be worse," the mirror told him. _Stupid talking mirrors_.

Ever since he turned eighteen, birthdays had been depressing. They meant he was one step closer to death, arthritis, and – worst of all – retirement. Most Quidditch players didn't work past thirty, finding their reflexes had slowed and their techniques became rusty – not to mention most met career-ending injuries before that.

"But I'm _old_," he moaned, covering his eyes.

"Yeah, far from it," another voice said. "Young enough to play a violent, overbearing sport at high speeds fifty feet up in the air."

"I won't be so lucky," he said, finally voicing his thoughts, "in five or so years."

"They _do_ say for every hundred miles you fly on a broom, you're in line for one serious accident," Lily told him from the doorway. She had her arms crossed and was leaning up against the wooden frame, looking quite calm.

He turned to her, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Then I must have a hell of an accident coming up," he joked.

"Yeah – well, I figure I'm safe for – oh, at least another two or three hundred miles," Lily replied casually, holding up her hand for examination. Despite being magically healed, it was still her stiff and her pinky moved off at an unusual angle. She wiggled it experimentally.

"I'm not going to lie; that's kind of gross." James seated himself on the bathroom counter, blinking. "How did it even heal that badly?"

"I thought I told you."

"You gave me the short of it, but I still don't get it. Why was this even that… epic?"

Lily sighed, locking eyes with him. "If you really want to know…"

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry it always takes me so long to update. I'm just really unsatisfied with the quality of the chapters I've been putting out lately. I had horrible writer's block at the time they were written.

On the upside, there's no shortage of ideas right now. I'm starting ANOTHER story, just to get the concept out of my brain and safely onto paper (kind of like what I didn't do with my idea for the next great American novel. Frick). It's another AU, a Civil-War type thing (though I've yet to decide if it's actually the Civil War. Maybe some similar war, if I don't have to do too much research). Essentially, Lily dresses up as a man to enlist in the army, but lands herself into a third-party casualty camp, where she runs into James - a soldier on the other side. Write it before me and I might have to hurt you. Badly.

What's the degree of interest here?

Oh yeah, and _And Nothing But The Truth_ is going awesome. I'm not really updating right now, just writing so I can get the plot twists figured out before I f-- something up.

Essentially, keep reviewing. Please. It fuels me.


	16. Lily's Flashback, Pt 1

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 16: Lily's Flashback, Pt 1

"Lily, catch!" A Quaffle came her way, a red planet in an expanse of blue. The redheaded girl, nineteen, snatched it easily with one hand, and she tossed it past the Keeper and through the hoops, no problem.

"Brilliant," the other Chaser said, patting her on the back. He was a curly-haired, blue-eyed teenager of 17 who had dropped out of school to join the reserve team. Although the Chudley Cannons finished bottom of the league most years, the team was still conveniently located in Southern England, which made it a popular join-up for Londoners. "Lil, you'll be drafted pretty soon, I reckon. I hear Jon Preston's getting too old to play and needs a replacement."

"One can hope, she replied, grinning. "One can also hope that after getting drafted I'm traded to the Falmouth Falcons!" The pair laughed, careful to stay out of earshot of their ornery captain (who surveyed all training).

"Evans! Stewart!" the captain barked. "Quit your jabbering and get on the sidelines! The Beaters need to drill."

"Yes, _sir_," Lily muttered under her breath. "Robby, I swear, I can't wait to get out of here."

"Yeah. Maybe the ol' man will finally train the real team." The boy grinned amiably, brushing off his orange robes as they steered their brooms away from the center.

The rest of the team watched as the reserve Beaters – about six of them – erected a series of hoops along the center line. Simultaneously, metal Bludger look-alikes were sent spinning up in the air, and the Beaters bashed them through the hoops.

"Their aim is terrible," Lily said in wonder as the process was repeated over and over again. "No wonder the Cannons are –"

She was cut off short as a stray Bludger was sent hurtling towards her. Before anyone could react, it smashed into the left side of her face, and an audible _crack_ echoed throughout the air.

"Lily!"

Black seeped into the edges of her vision, sparkling in and out before Lily completely fell unconscious, sliding limply off her broom to the ground fifty feet below.

"Lily!"

What most remembered seeing was the Chaser simply crumpling to the ground; but a few who were unfortunate to be close saw it all. Lily landed palm-down on her right hand, shooting streaks of pressure up her arm and completely folding over the knuckles before she fell to her shoulder and slid to stop.

For one moment, things were silent.

Lily's vision returned as she awakened to pain streaming up and down her arm. Blood trickled from her nose, and a bruise was already welling up over her eye. Her whole right arm felt like it was bleeding electricity; it was extremely excruciating.

As crowds of players gathered around her – as she was laid onto a gurney, set aside for such happenings – as she was rushed to St. Mungo's, where they numbed the arm and did all they could to clean her up in the "Artifact Accidents" ward – only one thought haunted poor Lily's mind.

Because of this accident – because of one stupid little Bludger, one stupid little fall, one stupid little every day mishap –

- her career was about to end before it started.

Of course, it wasn't entirely the Bludger. It was the misfortunate crash-landing. It was the splintering bones, it was the ripped ligaments, it was the shattered wrist. It was the length of time she'd taken in getting to the hospital. It was the lacking capabilities of the ward.

In fact, it was nearly everything _except_ the Bludger. Fate had ganged up against Lily Evans.

And when Lily asked a nurse why this couldn't be completely fixed, exactly? It's a _magical hospital_!

The nurse said: "Magic can't cure everything."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I wanted to end this chapter here, but it's also unusually short, so I decided to post the next one. They kinda go together anyhow.


	17. Lily's Flashback, Pt 2

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 17: Lily's Flashback, Pt 2

"Magic can't cure everything."

It was Lily's slogan, her mantra, her war cry. It was her motivation and her fear factor. It was _true_. How true it had become.

"Give me the details," she told her Healer. "I want to know everything."

"We've healed most of the damage, you see," he said, looking down his nose at her through darkened glasses. "Your wrist was broken in several places; your forearm splintered badly, but that's been corrected; your broken fingers and nose, both taken care of. Your shoulder has been put back in place."

"Give me the bad news," she demanded, sitting up in her bed. He gave her a pitied glance.

"The bruising will take awhile to go away, and it will take a month or two to heal your hand. We've reattached the ligaments the best we can, but they can't be stressed, or you risk rupture."

"You want me to go a month without using my hand?" Lily's expression was incredulous. She'd never imagined such a thing – she was hoping for – for – a benign tumor or slight brain damage or _anything else_ for the Healer to wear that grim look – as long as it didn't affect her Quidditch.

"A month or _two_," the man replied, crossing his arms over his lime-green robes. "More likely the latter. It's extremely important you don't reinjure yourself, Miss Evans."

"You don't _understand_," she insisted. "No one can just take two months off from Quidditch. I practice every day, even in the off-season. It's my job."

"I cannot allow you to continue," the Healer chided. "I already took the liberty of contacting your captain about the matter, and he firmly agrees."

"But – Jon Preston is retiring," she said feebly, as if it made perfect sense. Apparently it didn't to the hospital worker, who merely gave her an irritated glance.

"F-- this," Lily growled, a wrinkle forming in her brow. "When can I check out of here?"

"When you're ready, you may collect your belongings and notify the Welcome Witch of your departure. Normally I would ask you to stay overnight, but there's nothing more that we can do."

Upon hearing this, Lily pushed back the sheets, tried in vain to brush off her muddy, bloodied robes – she had only been there an hour or two, mostly unconscious and unable to change – and seized her wand from the bedside table. "I hope somebody grabbed my broom," she said snarkily to the Healer as she hopped out of bed and out the door.

--

"Oomph!"

"Lily, shouldn't you –"

"Ermph!"

"– shouldn't you be taking leave –?"

"I can't afford to take leave!" she shouted back to her teammate as she heaved another Quaffle through the hoop. "Eugh!"

"You'll hurt yourself, though!" The man screwed up his face as he balanced on his broom, confused. "Why are you out here?"

"Don't worry, I've permission from the warden," she called back to him. "If the captain won't let me practice, I'll be damned if I don't do it myself!" Another vicious throw. This time, though, the ball merely bounced off the rim, sinking slowly to the ground with the others. "F--!"

"Come on, Lily, stop that," he said, flying closer. Lily was all out of Quaffles anyway, so she simply huffed and glared. "You know it's for the good of your career."

"I've already been on reserve for a year," she told him angrily. "Everyone's been saying 'Oh, Lily, you're going to get drafted next' and 'it's about time the Cannons had a woman on the team'. The only thing I want to do is take our team to playoffs and what happens? I get sidelined for a whole bleeding month."

"When you come back, you'll be better than ever!" The girl fumed at the very thought of it: two weeks had already gone by, and this was her first time back on a broom. It was absolutely horrifying. "And besides, we may not have an opening for another three years."

"You're not exactly old, Lily." The reserve Keeper rolled his eyes. "I don't think you have much to be worried about."

"You should know how hard it is to get by on reserve team pay."

"Get another job."

"I don't _want_ another job. I want to play Quidditch."

"Get a rich boyfriend."

"So I can mooch off of him? Yeah, right. Very odd, coming from you."

"Then stop complaining," the frustrated Cannon replied. "If you don't let your hand heal, you can't play Quidditch at _all_. That's hardly better. Go see a Healer, Lil. Stop doing this."

"Well, thanks for your concern, but I'm fine how I am." Lily dipped her broom back to the ground to collect the Quaffles, sighing as the man followed. "If it really means that much to you, Bill, I'll get a check-up, but it won't keep me from practicing!"

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, for some reason I really didn't enjoy this chapter. But maybe you will. I dunno. (Lily is so stupid. .)

Oh, and to keep this rated T, I wanted to keep swear words to a minimum. I tried my best to avoid the F-word, which tends to pop up in my character's, err, lexicon... but in this chapter I just bleeped it out so the integrity of the sentence wasn't lost. x

Review. Please.


	18. Being Together

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 18: Being Together

"Wait – _that_ was Bill? _The_ Bill?" James gawked as Lily rolled her eyes.

"Yes, James, that was Bill. We didn't start going out until later, mind you – after Sirius left for Africa. Now, would you get out of your bathroom? I've been waiting for ages just to find out you were worried about your age…"

"Sorry," he said, hopping off the counter. Together they made their way to the little living room of his one-bedroom apartment, settling on his couch as she finished her story.

"Anyway, I went back to St. Mungo's for a checkup later that week because my hand was hurting like hell. They told me I ruptured one or two of the ligaments and had to have it worked on.

"That much work on one injury wasn't really helpful, so my hand was really stiff and unusable afterwards… I basically injured and reinjured it to the point where the damage was permanent." Lily sighed angrily. "When the captain heard that, he was pretty sympathetic. He said one of the Chasers was planning to retire in four years, and if I had made a comeback by then, I could play."

James furrowed his brow. "Four years is a long time to wait, Lily. You would be –"

"23. I know."

"That's half your career spent on a reserve team."

"Which is exactly why I didn't take the bait," Lily told him. "What my captain didn't know was that I got an offer from the Holyhead Harpies to play in the upcoming 1980 season. They desperately needed a new Chaser, and I guess when they saw me they saw –"

"– a talented female Chaser who had no where else to go and no chance of being drafted otherwise," James finished for her. "So you weren't really worth much of a signing bonus with your career almost destroyed, I'll bet."

She shrugged. "Nope. Everyone else thought I'd never be the same again. The Harpies got a pretty decent bargain, and I took the offer because it was probably my only chance of moving up and recovering from this whole fiasco."

Lily looked nostalgic for a moment. "Rosie's the one who really convinced me to recover."

Now everything seemed to click – Lily's sensitivity at being called left-handed, her dedication to the Harpies, her scorn for the Magpies' rich sponsor…

It was like he was meeting her for the first time.

James reached over and brushed a hand up Lily's side, making her laugh and curl up closer to him. He entwined his fingers in her wavy hair, saying, "You're a stunning person, Lily Evans."

"So are you, James Potter." A smile curled at her lips, making him shudder with delight.

They pressed together, meeting along every centimeter of their bodies, as she turned her face away and he fell over her, laughing and kissing and breathing each other in.

* * *

**Author's Note:** How's that for a big helping of CORN? Please review, so I might be motivated to type the next chapter despite not really liking it. Lily and James are still sort of in the awkward phase of their relationship, but I think I'm doing a terrible job illustrating that. Thus, I will be somewhat rewriting the next few chapters to make James's life miserable. Muahaha.

On the upside, I think I'm going to write a oneshot for fun today. I might have it up soon, too, if you're lucky.


	19. Plain Old Contemplation

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter Nineteen: Plain Old Contemplation

Not for the first time that week, Lily left James's apartment building at dawn, trying covertly to avoid his nosy neighbors. The last thing she needed was a media scandal - they could be either a boost or a depressant for ticket sales, and Rosie had specifically intructed the team _not to take the risk._

Although, theoretically, if caught leaving at an unseemly time it would be far more scandalous...

Lily sighed and tucked her jacket under her arm as she walked. This was an integrated neighborhood, meaning that although two-thirds of the complex's inhabitants were probably magical, she couldn't risk Apparition just yet...

...not that Lily was particularly anal about the whole Statue of Secrecy thing...

Today was Saturday and she had a gae later that night against the Chudley Cannons. It would be interesting to face her old teammates again for the third time, when she felt she had finally recovered from her injury. All the effort she'd put into becoming "left-handed" - into rebuilding herself - had finally paid off.

"Cannons, meet the Holyhead Harpies," she said a bit wickedly, finally Apparating from an empty alleyway. She turned on the spot and reappeared at her own home.

It was also April Fools' Day, part of the reason she'd crawled out of James's bed at five, dressing and gathering her things as quietly as possible. Things always got messy on April first, thanks to the untiring prankster spirit in James, Sirius, Remus, and even Peter's heart.

She didn't want to be in the midst of that, and she _certainly _didn't want to run into Sirius again. That would be far too strange. He and James were best friends, so it was very likely he knew about... whatever it was she and James had.

Sirius had broken up with her gently, telling her he needed to find himself and experience the world for his books. Although Lily knew he was getting out of the way for his friend - a fact that had irritated her to no end, making her feel like an object to be tossed around - she knew it was partially true. Sirius was a traveller. He never stayed with one person or place for too long.

She entered her own apartment, tossing her jacket carelessly over the back of the armchair and slipping her shoes off at the entrance. _Wow..._ she leaned on the wall for a minute, taking it in.

It actually felt good to be home. As much as Lily loved being with James, it was good to have alone time, especially before a game. It gave her time to think, and she could certainly use a good musing session, considering all that had happened within the last five days.

_James, James, James..._

Lily shook her head free of worries and padded across the apartment. For now, a shower, then breakfast, and she'd see about the game...

* * *

James woke with a start, thinking for a moment that he was back at Hogwarts, doomed to wake up every morning promptly at seven or he'd miss breakfast, possibly even first period...

... then he slumped back into his pillows with a smile, remembering _everything_.

James Potter's life was relatively easy, despite the competitive career he pursued. He only had games once every two weeks, sometimes on back-to-back Saturdays, like recently, or only after a three week reprieve. It all depended on how well his team was doing and how the B.I.L. decided to schedule its games.

On non-game days he tried to keep in tip-top shape, which meant treating his throwing arm with ice (to soothe muscles) and lots and lots of jogging. It didn't take too much time or effort, which made him secretly wonder why he was paid at all.

Oh, yes - the pay. It was, to put politely, a _lot_. The Magpies had no qualms seeking out the best and contracting them for absurd amounts of money. That was _especially_ nice, because with that in addition to a rather generous inheritance, James probably retire in comfort after his career was up, which was to say in five or ten years, ten if he was lucky.

The space beside him was deplorably empty, something he didn't question at all. Lily had always been rather evasive about local media, and the fact that his building was difficult to leave discreetly didn't help much.

"Eight o' clock," he muttered to himself, rolling out of bed. He dressed and trotted to the other room, settling down at his island "kitchenette" for coffee. It would do. Technically he wasn't supposed to have caffeine, but a good wake-up was definitely in order.

"James Potter!"

He nearly had a heart attack at the sound of his best friend's voice. It seemed to be coming from the bedroom, so he ventured back in. No one was to be seen.

"Jaaames!"

"Ah..." James opened the first drawer of his bedside table and pulled out the hand mirror inside, peering down at Sirius's face where his own reflection should have been. "Hullo."

"Good, thought you might've been lying in for the weekend," Sirius said, brushing a strand of hair from his eyes. There was a lopsided grin fastened on his face as he regarded his friend.

"No, I didn't feel like sleeping in... er... Sirius, why're you looking at me, like that?"

"Oh," the face in the mirror replied, seemingly nonchalant. "Just thought you'd like to know, you have a pretty bad case of sex hair this morning."

James blinked. "Go away for a bit!"

His friend obeyed, allowing James to check out his reflection - and pat down his hair in vain - before returning, eyebrows raised.

"Anyway, you're probably wondering why I wanted to talk -"

"Not really, it's April first."

"Good observation. Now -" Sirius broke off. "Are... you... still in your _pyjamas_?"

"I just got out of bed," he said defensively.

"On _April Fools' Day_?" There was a kind of aggravated expression on his friend's face, which was more than slightly concerning. "I mean, seriously... it's alright to _sleep_, of course, but you should be dressed and ready to go! It's our tradition!"

James sighed. "Do I have to? I have a feeling Remus won't be as forgiving this time around..."

"Nonsense. He has no idea. I told him I wanted to prank Peter this year and he'd better help me, because you were too busy..."

"Nice... you know he'll never fall for that? I think he has learned not to let his guard down, especially after sixth year..."

"No worries. I came prepared." James wondered briefly what this was supposed to mean when there was a thundering knock at the door.

He glared down at a grinning Sirius. "Padfoot..."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone. Much sorrow for the recent lack of updates. I can attribute it to being horribly horribly overworked and overextended - I'm taking four advanced classes, a foreign language, three others, and five extracurricular activities. So there ya go.

This was fun to type because it's the first time I've gotten to sit down and earnestly work on writing for awhile. Well, that and I got to guzzle chocolate during the process. Chocolate-covered pretzel sticks to reviewers. ;) Or tofu cubes if you're gluten-intolerant like my poor buddy Amanda.


	20. Special Events

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 20: Special Events

"You seem almost unhappy to see me."

"I _am_ almost unhappy to see you," James said in exasperation, as a giddy Sirius helped himself to his friend's food. "I know it's tradition, but… why are you so _happy_?"

"Because I haven't gotten a better chance to prank Remus since '79," he said cheerfully, mouth full of toast.

"I'd think you'd grown out of that stuff, being a fully-fledged _author_ and all."

"Experiencing the world is my business," Sirius said, well, seriously. There was a little glimmer of passion in his eyes as he spoke, something which reminded James forcibly of how he felt about Quidditch. "And, alas," he added, "observing tradition is an experience."

"It's a wonder you don't observe your family traditions," James muttered darkly, plopping down in a chair.

"That is simply cruel and unnecessary."

"True. I'm sorry."

The wooden chair behind him squeaked as Sirius, too, settled down. "Let's talk about this prank."

"What'll it be? Oatmeal in his face?"

"Nah. That's too easy and predictable. We need to do something stunning, Prongs, something that completely outstrips anything at Hogwarts."

"So, why all this trouble? We can't hurt the poor guy, not so close to…"

"I know, I know." Sirius scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Just something that'll… make him curse the fates, but he can still appreciate it for its genius, you see?"

"Then what about…"

"I've beat you twice before, and I'll beat you again!" Lily shouted as she grappled with another Chaser for the Quaffle. They were shoulder to shoulder, battling for elbow room forty feet in the air. The cheers and whistles of the crowd were faded into the background.

"I hope you don't mean that," Robby shouted back, pulling the Quaffle out of her reach. He tucked it under his left arm before diving in a spiral, words floating upwards: "I'm ready to prove you wrong."

The Quaffle was whipped to another athlete in orange as Lily's heart leapt to her throat. It was no good: McGovern, the Keeper, lunged for the ball but missed, and the Cannons scored. Again.

* * *

"Ew."

"What?"

"Who in their right mind actually _buys_ this stuff? It's disgusting."

"Well, Prongs, someone's got to. It's here after all."

"I don't want to touch it."

"Neither do I."

"It was _your_ idea, though."

"Strange… it sounds almost as if I'm the leader and you're the minion today. Nice change. _Pick it up_, minion!"

"Eugh!"

"Relax, you can wash your hands later."

"Ew ew ew –"

"God, how did you ever have sex without sanitary wipes?"

"For your information, there is a whole lot of difference between having sex and touching a gross, old, maggoty…"

* * *

"Damn!" It looked so close to going in the goal – Lily had thought for sure that she'd score.

The score was way upended – 130 to 10 – and Lily was becoming incredibly worried. If they didn't either score or catch the Snitch soon, they'd be done for, and losing to a team like the Chudley Cannons was purely _unacceptable_.

"Okay, there?" Rosie paused momentarily on her broom, Beater's bat in hand, staring Lily down. The redhead hastily nodded and flew off, looking for the Quaffle. In her moment of thought she'd lose track of where it was…

"Lily, look out!" Lily spun and felt as if time were frozen. A Bludger, aimed by the wily Beater on the opposing team, had just very nearly taken her head off; she felt the _whoosh_ of air as it whizzed by her ear, dangerously close.

_I'll have to keep an eye open next time_, she thought dizzily to herself, trying to ignore the black sparks before her eyes.

"Lily-chan? You alright?"

The sounds of the game pulsated, flipping back in forth like a ping-pong match.

"Lily-chan?"

"I feel faint…"

She didn't, however, fall; she tipped forward on her broom, plummeting a few feet – the captain gasped, but the crowd was oblivious – and then sat back up, keeping a shaky hold on her broom. "I'm fine!" she said thickly. "Just…"

"Then get back in the game!"

She did, making a bid for the Quaffle; a few goals were scored on either side.

* * *

"I'll pay for the birds, since you wrapped it all up."

"Thank you."

"Yeah, whatever. I don't think you should touch anything for the time being, anyway. You smell disgusting."

"Just hurry up and pay before Peter suffocates."

"I poked holes…!"

* * *

They won. The Snitch had been caught.

It was a good thing, too, because the Harpies were inching back up toward first place, and another loss – especially to such a low-bearing team – would've crushed that progress.

"Good job, Harpies!" Rosie was saying as they gathered in the center of the pitch. "Cathy, nice catch. Teresa – you and I might want to work on defending more – Lily seems to be a Bludger magnet…"

Lily flushed. "I'm fine, really."

"Good," Rosie exclaimed, a little bitingly for her usually easygoing character. "Maybe you can start working with the other Chaser on how to _chase_, rather than sit back and watch goals be scored under our noses."

"Sorry, Rosie…" muttered Amanda Rachtman. She was 25 years old, very quirky, and had soft blue eyes and cropped brown hair that spiked up in the back. She was Holyhead's best Chaser, but even with her leading the "rookies" (who really weren't rookies at all) the Harpies had never won the Cup while she played, something Amanda was very bitter about.

"Our team won," Lily said, bemused. "Why is anyone sorry?"

"Because we barely won," someone replied irately. "Duh."

"I feel as if it's my fault," the Keeper meekly said.

"It's not," the captain reassured her. "We won, but next time we need to _dominate_, not depend on those last 150 points. The fact that we were nearly trounced by the bottom team in the league means we need to step up, ladies!"

"Oh, boy, here she goes," Teresa hissed.

"Here what goes?" Cathy, the Seeker, wondered.

"It's your first year," Lily said, bracing herself. "Get used to what's about to happen."

"The game of Quidditch," Rosie declared importantly, pacing before her team, "is a complex one!"

There were several groans.

"It isn't just a sport – it's an _art_! And the only way to perfect that art," the captain said affectionately, "is to practice, practice, practice… to watch, to learn, and to _practice_!

"From now on, we will have practice every afternoon from four to seven, where we will work on new techniques as well as perfect old ones. We need to memorize the attack strategies of the other teams, so we'll attend each and every game was can as. A. Group."

The captain glanced around at the blank faces, stuck her hands in her pockets, and asked cheerily, "Will that interfere with anyone's side job?"

"Mine," Cathy said uncertainly. "Tuesdays are my day at the salon, you know…"

"Getting your hair done?"

"Doing other people's…"

"That's fine." Rosie waved her off. "You're excused from Tuesdays, then, as long as your Seeking skills don't get rusty." She glanced around. "The rest of you show up or I'll make _sure_ you get traded."

"Aye aye, captain."

* * *

Remus had just gotten home from another unfortunate job interview. He had been on the downside after his last employer decided to drop him. Because it was difficult for someone like Remus to hold a steady job, he mostly depended on James, who quietly paid his rent every month but never asked for a single Knut back.

His apartment was rather drab, with a small, fuzzy sofa, a bathroom, a very small "kitchen" area equipped with stove and sink, and a full-size bed crammed into the corner: essentially, his whole life was fit in three tiny rooms, which was perfectly alright with him.

When Remus opened the door, a tawny owl was already waiting on the windowsill (for he was so lucky as to have a window), a letter tied to its leg. He let it in, perplexed, but as soon as he removed the envelope the bird took off, not expecting a reply.

_To Remus John Lupin, of Mikesell Place, apt 517:_

_Congratulations! You have won a subscription to the Wizarding Meat of the Month club! Our goal is to bring to you all the best meats every month. Please enjoy!_

_- WMMC_

As Remus stared at the letter, wondering how in the world this "Meat of the Month" club – which he'd never heard of – had gotten his name and address, there was a tapping on the window.

Another owl, black as coal this time, had arrived. He let it in and it dropped a package on the floor, labeled "May 1981". Upon inspection – which was really just a hearty sniff – Remus was displeased to note someone had sent him a moldy, _rotting_ piece of flesh, source undeterminable.

He looked around for his wand to Vanish it, but was interrupted by yet _another_ owl at his window. This package was labeled "June 1981", and contained another foul-smelling piece of meat.

"You've got to be kidding me," Remus said angrily as this was followed up by an additional two birds, delivering July and August 1981, respectively. "Sirius… James…"

Helplessly, the man watched as eight more packages of meat, in various stages of decomposition, were dropped off right on his carpet one by one, the last one being the reasonably fresh "April 1982".

"This isn't clever, just disgusting," Remus growled as the smell sank in. He started to gather up and dispose of the disgusting… project when another badly wrapped and _wiggling_ item was flown in.

There seemed to be noises emitting from the brown-papered lump, so Remus picked it up cautiously and read the ink scrawled on the outside.

_May 1982_

"You've got to be kidding me." A live animal?

He pulled the twine off the package and the paper fell away, revealing a very panicked garden rat who leapt right out of his hands and onto his sofa.

"Peter…?" Remus ventured.

The rat morphed back into a man, wheezing a little bit. "Oi – sorry, Remus, they sort of made me."

"How… revolting," Remus said, wrinkling his nose. "You can tell James and Sirius thank you – my apartment will smell for weeks. It's a wonder if my landlord doesn't come up here and throw me out!"

The blond gave him an apologetic grin. "I'll help you clean up, if you want. We can get them back, no worries."

The werewolf smiled and picked up _April 1982_. "Eh, whatever happens, at least I got some steak out of the deal."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I know, I know. This chapter is pretty lame in every aspect, because it doesn't take the plot anywhere, right?

Well, actually, it does... food for thought: Didn't James say he wasn't friends with Remus anymore?


	21. Surprise Me

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 21: Surprise Me

The Wimbourne Wasps were an intense-looking team, that much was certain. In black and yellow robes, tightly laced gauntlets and ever-popular shaded goggles (which kept their eyes hidden), the team of seven large, rowdy men seemed ready to dominate.

On the other hand was the Montrose team, matched and haughty – the seven best Quidditch players 1982 had to offer. They were better quality athletes, but when it came to sheer manpower the Wasps were far superior. The two teams stood in a face-off as the captains shook hands, then all mounted their brooms and lifted up into a hover.

The whistle went up, and so did the Quaffle, signaling the beginning of the game.

"Watch the Chasers," Rosie instructed Lily, Amanda, and Karen, all of the same position. "Keep an eye on the Magpies' defense strategy. Forget about the Wasps – they don't know what they're doing. Every skill we need to hone is a skill to take on Montrose."

"Why are you so certain Montrose will make it to finals?" Amanda asked in amusement. "Surely you haven't forgotten the Appleby Arrows."

"After last year's loss," someone replied, "I should _hope_ Rosie hasn't forgotten!" There was a sprinkling of laughter among the team.

"The Arrows are a threat, yes," Rosie replied, unperturbed, "but the Magpies have stolen their secret weapon." She pointed at James, who was breezing along the pitch, following the Quaffle.

"James Potter certainly does know his stuff," Karen commented, leaning back in her seat. She was a tall, Asian girl with sharp eyes and black hair in a bob; she had a certain fondness for sleeveless shirts and Acid pops. "Look at that turn he just pulled."

"Nothing special," Lily said blankly, thinking about the last few weeks.

It had been almost a month since that… interesting night when Lily caved in to him. It had been spontaneous, reckless, and rather stupid… still, she'd gone back. Several times. It was as if they couldn't quite stay apart, and so each of them had found some kind of odd comfort about the other.

They weren't, exactly, a couple… but Lily doubted James was hosting other women at his apartment, and she wasn't involved with any other men, so she wasn't too worried.

They'd been together just a few days before, and she told him all about Rosie's new, intense schedule – he approved. She also told him Remus had given the box of condoms back to Sirius on his April 13th birthday, something which really made him laugh. He hadn't known that.

Then he said it again and stopped her heart: "Lily, I really do love you. You're hilarious!"

She didn't respond, only told him another anecdote to keep him very well distracted, promising to see him after his game and keep him "properly entertained".

"See that goal?"' Rosie was saying? "Perfect form. Lily-chan, watch the motion of his arm. It's a well-designed throw, to keep you from injuring yourself…" Lily shot her a look. "… further."

"If he ever makes a goal again, I will," the redhead said, somewhat reluctantly.

"Of course he will," Cathy sighed, resting her chin in her hands. "He's _James Potter_. Quidditch star and, so I've heard, foreplay extraordinaire…"

"James doesn't _do_ foreplay," Lily snapped without thinking about what she was saying. Curious eyes turned to her, and she blushed, covering lamely with, "I mean, he seems like the get-straight-to-business type, don't you think?"

The Seeker shrugged.

"Anyway, he's too old for you, Cathy," the woman tried to say kindly – though secretly she was heating up with embarrassment and indignation. 'You're – what, eighteen? Nineteen?"

"Twenty…"

"Right. He's a full two years up."

Amanda cut in boredly. "Let's talk about something else, yeah? I'm trying to concentrate on the game."

"Sorry, Manny!" Lily flashed her a grin. "We'll get straight back to Quidditch. Good ol' Quidditch!" she sang.

"More like it."

Was that a twinge of jealousy? Lily shook her head. She'd be better off just not listening to her teammates at all. Focus on the Chasers. That was why she was here, anyway, and James didn't belong in her conversations…

As if he'd heard her, James faltered. The Quaffle slid from his grip into the hands of a rival Chaser as he was bucked forward, losing balance briefly. He almost toppled off, if it weren't for one arm and on knee remaining hooked over his broom.

There was a small, collective gasp from the crowd as James recovered from his mistake and the Wasps scored, provoking more cheers and a few disappointed "Aww"s from the spectators.

"What was that all about?" someone wondered out loud.

"It happens from time to time," Amanda said, not taking her eyes off the game. "The Chaser is so caught up in being about to score that he forgets to encourage his broom magically, so to speak. It stops and he gets thrown forward. That's why most teams will have a Chaser wait below rival players about to make a goal."

"How embarrassing," Lily said, watching as James flew energetically around, trying to brush off the accident. Pretend it didn't happen. "That's never happened to me."

"Be glad. It's the stupidest thing."

"Lily, would you go to the concession stand for me?" Rosie glanced at her appealingly. "You're on the aisle seat."

"What do you want?"

"Anything to drink – it doesn't matter what. Here's a Galleon."

"Okay." Lily stood. "I'll be right back."

She made her way to the topmost section of the stadium, searching out a drink stand. Deciding that Rosie's definition of "anything" probably didn't include alcoholic beverages, she bought a strawberry milkshake and started heading back to her seat.

"You'd _better_ not be allergic to strawberries," Lily said under her breath.

"Lily?" A voice called, making her stiffen. "Lily Evans?"

* * *

**Author's Note:** Uh-oh! Who is it?

You know, I love Rosie Arquette. She is such a versatile character. She's a bit whimsical and obviously reads way too much manga, but at the same time she has a serious side and is very passionate about Quidditch. Poor girl, she really wants to win the League Cup. It's actually almost all she thinks about.

When I first started this story, I expected James to be much more serious about Quidditch than Lily... but as per usual, the characters have taken their own turns, and Lily is, as a result, much more focused than James... he loves the sport, but he's just so interested in enjoying the other aspects of life as well.

Tell me what you think of this chapter!


	22. Welcome, Snape

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 22: Welcome, Snape

"Severus?" Lily replied in confusion. She wasn't sure. The man before her had black hair, black eyes, and a rather large nose – it _was_ him!

"Lily," he said, looking extremely relieved. "I thought it was you. What are you doing here?"

She took in his appearance: long black robes, hair slicked back as always, sleeves hanging a little past his wrists, like he was afraid to expose too much of himself to the sunlight. He had grown considerably taller since she last saw him.

Which reminded her of when she last saw him.

"Goodbye," Lily said stiffly, turning away. He narrowed his eyes and stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Sev…"

"Are you _still_ angry with me? For something that happened in fifth year?"

"Undeniably so," she replied, but she didn't move.

"Lily…"

The woman turned back to him, a crease in her brow. The expression on her face was unreadable, but something akin to hatred tumbled in her eyes, making him step back a little. "I don't want to hold a grudge. Please go away."

"Just let me know how you are," he pleaded. "Come on. I haven't seen you since graduation. Pretend we're just acquaintances. How are you?"

The Severus Snape Lily knew would never have offered up such a compromise, but, she reasoned, there had been plenty of time for that Severus Snape to change. "I'm fine. You?"

"I'm fine, too," he said, voice softening. "What's your occupation, nowadays? A Healer, like you wanted?"

She almost laughed. "You don't read the papers much, do you?"

He looked at her blankly.

"Try professional Quidditch player."

"Oh," Severus said. "Like Potter."

Lily's eyes narrowed a bit, and she suddenly wished that Yes, she was a Healer. "I suppose."

"Well, that's… good."

"And you, Sev?" She shouldn't care. She shouldn't want to know. The new Lily Evans didn't wonder about the goings-on in one Severus Tobias Snape's life, but the old one still recognized him as her best friend. It was terrible.

"Things are – the same," he replied carefully. "There isn't much I can say, to b honest."

"Well, at least you were always persistent in your aspirations," she said a little harshly.

"Yes…" That _yes_ hung in the air a bit, unbroken by more conversation. "Lily… before you say anything… know that I'll always stand between you and him."

Upon seeing her startled look, Severus added, "I've actually got a job, though… I'm showing some of the press around – they've been looking for a story… desperate little buggers," he joked, trying to lighten the conversation. A few moments passed, and then Lily's brow smoothed out, and she stepped back.

"Well, then I need to go. Someone's waiting for me," she said, indicating the (slowly melting) milkshake.

There was a silent understanding.

He nodded. "It was good, seeing you…"

_I don't know if I can say the same,_ Lily thought, walking away.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well, I'm sort of getting to that point where I'm uploading faster than I'm writing, so pretty soon we might come to an intermission of sorts... mind you, I've got six chapters still on the shelf, but I haven't been doing much work recently.

In fact, my activity's gone down mostly because of NaNoWriMo. I love my novel idea, and I really really want to pump out 50,000 _quality_ words. So we'll see how that goes.

(On another note, how does everyone feel about the new FF look? I really like it, except when I edit documents the Ctrl + B no longer works to make my text bold... same with Ctrl + I and Ctrl + U. It's a bit annoying since I have to stop tying, reach over, and click the box before resuming.)


	23. Goodbye, Broom!

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 23: Goodbye, Broom!

"_F---ing_ little prick!" Thud. "You little, stupid, bloody, bent up _bugger_ of a -" Thud.

After the game, Lily had almost forgotten about her promise to James to see him that day. It was about seven o' lock when she made her way to the locker rooms. THe stadium had more or less been emptied stragglers were filing out.

As she approached the locker room entrance, however, she saw she wouldn't have to wait because he was still on the pitch, no more than twenty feet off the grassy sidelines, cussing up a storm and (apparently) beating his broom to splinters.

Lily waited patiently as James, dressed in mud-stained Magpie robes, threw his broomstick to the ground and _stomped_ on it, snapping it in half. As if that were not satisfying enough, he whipped out his wand and muttered a spell - Lily couldn't distinguish what is was - which caused it to shatter and splinter, broken beyond repair. He swore at it some more.

When it seemed he'd cooled off considerably she ventured, "James?"

He groaned, not turning around, "Yes?"

"What the dickens are you doing?"

"Destroying my broom," he said matter-of-factly as he lit the remains on fire.

"_Why_?"

"Because it's time I got a new one anyway."

Lily rolled her eyes and stepped up beside him, water spouting from the tip of her wand. The ruined broom, which had just started to turn black, sizzled as the woman calmly put it out. "It's a brand-new broom."

"Well, I need a new one _now_," he muttered, still not looking at her. "That much is obvious."

"You're kind of stupid," she commented. "What was this for?"

"I was angry."

"Why? Your team _won_."

"Yeah," James replied, turning his head slightly to look at her, "but I did terribly, and if I put out a bad performance, it reflects poorly on my team. So it doesn't matter who won."

Lily sighed. "I think you're being a bit of a perfectionist, here. Everybody goes into slumps, James; you aren't exempt from that rule."

The man crossed his arms grumpily. "Well, I _should_ be."

There was a minute or so of silence as they watched the last figments of smoke curl up from the charred broomstick. It lay in a dozen pieces, more like a sad campfire than a top-notch piece of sporting equipment, something Lily found a little depressing.

"Listen," she said, breaking the silence, "do you want to clean up and get out of here? Lord knows this'll probably be on the front page of the _Evening Prophet_. Or the cover of _Which Broomstick_, they seem to like you."

James laughed hoarsely. "It's alright. I waited until the press box was empty. Otherwise they might write me up a temperamental maniac who likes destroying things."

"And it would be the most accurate thing the media has ever reported."

"The press is a terrible thing," James said regretfully. "It was meant to bring people truth, and all they do is lie. Don't believe everything you read, Lil."

The redhead gave a half-hearted smile. "Only if you do me the same favor."

"Oh, I know." He seemed to stink into his soliloquy now, immersed in a... "thoughtful hatred" for writers. It wasn't that he thought all writers were bad - he was best friends with one - it was only that they'd never done him justice in the past. "It's like this, Lil. When I know five thousand pairs of eyes are watching me, I feel like I can't afford to make mistakes." He glanced at her. "How can I be anything less than perfect?"

"You have to accept it," she said gently, taking his elbow. He leaned into her quietly. "No one's perfect, so if you try too hard, you'll just drive yourself mad. If you ask me, you owe it to your fans to be human."

"How annoyingly deep."

"Hey!" Lily protested. "It wasn't any worse than what _you_ just said!"

"Yeah, but it was coming from someone whom I _know_ to be a perfectionist, so all the talk about not being perfect was pretty amusing," he countered.

"I'm a perfectionist in that I'm perfecting the technique of imperfection."

"Oh, so _you've_ never avoided reporters on a bad day?"

"I've never avoided my fans."

"Same thing, essentially."

She glared at him, at which point James took it upon himself to kiss her.

"Hey!" she said again, once they'd parted.

"Yes?" he asked innocently.

"I didn't give you permission to do that."

James cocked an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware I needed permission to kiss my girlfriend."

Lily turned pink. "Oh... is that what I am...?"

He blinked, a little confused at her reaction. "Aren't you?" Realizing how naive this sounded, he added, "I mean, I'd consider it such... unless that was all just a fling or something -"

"Yes!" she blurted. A look of horror crossed James's face. "I mean, no... oh, Lord." The redhead covered her eyes. "Damnit... James, how many people have you slept with?"

"Why?"

"I want to know what my chances are of getting an STI."

"Just you..." he replied very softly.

There was a sad little thump in Lily's heart, but she tried not to let it show. "Wonderful. That's one on your end and two on my end. I think we're safe."

"Lil..."

"Yeah, I know, avoiding the topic." She shook her head, not really wanting to make eye contact but doing so anyway. He didn't look... hurt, mostly confused. "Where were we?"

"What are you doing?"

"Well," she said, "to be honest, I was hoping it was a really large number, so I could explain that sex doesn't equal commitment..."

"And you don't want commitment? ... at all?" James looked broken. He'd obviously thought otherwise.

"Well... yeah, but -"

"Lil, _be_ my girlfriend?" he asked suddenly.

"Huh?"

James took her hand. "I'm sorry I didn't ask you earlier. I thought it was a bit self-explanatory, you know. I've never just inexplicably gotten involved with someone," he confessed.

"Then we're two in one boat," she replied, feeling terrible for not clearing this up earlier. Her words and actions were just the result of her surprise, but they made her sound so awful. And yet Lily really didn't want to end what they had. "Oh, what the hell. Yeah, I will."

He grinned the tiniest bit. "Good."

"I'm going to regret this, I think..." she said, linking her arm with his. "But I don't care much right now. Let's get out of here, James."

"Alright."

They started walking toward the locker rooms, but Lily stopped, turned, and waved at the smoldering remains of James's Cleansweep 2. "Goodbye, broom!"

"Goodbye, broom!" he echoed.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is some strange hybrid of fluff and drama, I guess. Originally it was a lot more cheery, but it made Lily and James sound really stupid.

I apologize once again for the lack of updates in recent weeks... I've been incredibly busy - seven classes (not including homeroom), four of which are advanced. One is a foreign language (Spanish - I'm really looking forward to writing in it). Not to mention the extracurricular activities I've been in this year: orchestra (a zero-hour class, so I have no time in the morning), debate (it's nearing the peak of the season), FBLA, Honor Society, band... and I'm starting Driver's Ed. classes right after school next week, so my life will be pretty much occupied for a very long time.

There for, I haven't had much time to update or even write new chapters, because I'm leaving the house at six in the morning and getting back at six at night... whereupon my novel takes first priority.

So I believe your way of motivating/rewarding/comforting me should be to review. :) Please?


	24. A Genuine Problem

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 24: A Genuine Problem

When Lily awoke the next morning, Sirius's owl was at the window, tapping furiously at the second-story apartment's glass. A little surprised, she rolled out of bed, pulling on yesterday's clothes, and let it in. It hooted and dropped a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ on the foot of the bed before taking off.

"What is it?" James asked blearily from his pillow, one blind hand fumbling around for his glasses. He found them on the nightstand.

"The Daily Prophet," she replied, bemused.

"But I've already got a subscription, and not from Sirius..." he yawned, sitting up. "Why would he send it to me?"

"I don't know." Lily sat on the foot of the bed and began flippling the pages, looking for some kind of secret message or indicator. Outside, the bird carrying James's copy of the paper scratched at the window, but they both ignored it.

"Ah-ha." The sports section, circled in red... she skimmed it briefly and nearly had a heart attack. "Oh, hell..."

"What?"

"Take a look," the woman said, tossing him the paper. He did, and what he read nearly shocked him back into unconsciousness.

_Rival Chasers Potter and Evans - a Couple?_

_Two recently spotted together at Quidditch game_

Underneath was a (blurry) photograph of James's stolen kiss.

"How in the -"

"I have no idea," he said, covering her eyes. "This isn't good."

James breezed the article, which was mostly speculation on the management response to it as well as _whatever happened to Sirius Black?_ "Lil..."

"I know. I'll talk to the Harpy publicist. He's smart. He should be able to smooth it over."

"_Lil..._"

"What?" She turned to face him head-on, sitting cross-legged on the covers. "D'you want your publicist to do it?"

"Er... I was actually thinking we could confirm it," he admitted, hair falling into his eyes as he looked down at his own bare stomach. "Is there a reason we shouldn't?"

"I can think of a hundred reasons why we shouldn't, James."

"Then tell them to me." The man slid out of bed, taking fresh clothes from his dresser. This irritated Lily, because she really wanted to shower and change.

"First, we just decided on our... relationship status... last night. I don't think I'm ready to announce it to the world just yet," Lily admitted, patting down her hair anxiously. "And... you know, giving it some thought... our sponsors might not like that."

"Because we always do what our sponsors tell us to," he scoffed, tugging a T-shirt over his head. "C'mon, Lily, you knew this when you got involved with me."

"I can't say I was thinking about it at the time."

Hm. Neither was he.

Damn.

"Well, though are both obstacles we can overcome," James said reasonably. "If you're really uncertain about it, we can wait. We won't have to fan the fire for a couple weeks - the incriminating photo's taken care of that for us."

Lily shook her head. "What if they keep writing stupid stuff? Confirm one rumour, confirm the rest, James."

"You're being melodramatic."

"What if -" the redhead's face swept clean in horror. Lord, James, what if we lose?"

"Er?" he said, determined to keep the grin of amusement of his face. He really had no reason to smile, but it kept popping back up.

"What if - here me out, now - what if our teams face each other again? No matter who loses, people will say that person wasn't trying. That person was holding back because their _beloved_'s on the other side," she said with a wrinkle of her nose.

He stopped, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Actually," James said, hand running over his newly-grown scruff, "That _is_ a bit of a problem."

"Eurgh!" she leaned against the bed post, pinching the bridge of her nose. "If only I'd taken your advice about not dating other Quidditch players."

"Yeah, well, that's hardly applicable to _us_."

"I don't see a single difference, James."

"Because we're - I mean to say, you and I - er, we've - oh, nevermind," he said lamely, sitting on the bed beside her. A hand crept up to rub her back comfortingly. "C'mon, we'll figure it out."

"I feel stupid," she muttered.

"Don't."

"I will."

"_Please_ don't. I don't know if I oculd tolerate your feeling stupid over being with me, Lily."

She stuck out her tongue at him. "It's not _being_ with you, James... it's different. All that stuff I said before has come back to bite me, and it's embarrassing."

In a stroke of genius, he suggested, "Well, let's pretend you never dumped me in Hogwarts."

"What, so we just met?"

"Exactly! And you never dated my best friend."

Lily sighed loudly. "James..."

"And you never, ever, even _remotely_ disliked me," he added brightly, eyes shining. "We're fine now! It's the story meant to happen!"

"You can't just pretend away your life," she told him, irate. "I don't know if you've noticed but you're the only one believing that. We have a genuine problem on our hands. Be serious."

James shook his head. "Lily, I don't understand you! You were perfectly happy to spend time with me even though we weren't 'officially' -" he made quotes in the air with his hands "- a couple, but now that we are, you don't want to tell anyone!"

"I'm just being practical," she said defensively. "You know the _Prophet_'s a shark for scandals!"

"I don't want to worry about the bleeding _Prophet_," he cried. "It's only a matter of time before word gets out, so we might as well take this opportunity to set them straight."

"I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Lil..."

She sighed again and took his hand in hers, giving it an affectionate squeeze. "Look... isn't it enough to say I want this to be our own special thing? Just the two of us, no one else involved..."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I've pretty much given up on NaNoWriMo. Too many words to write, too little time. I'm going to keep working on my novel, of course, but I'm tired of having to sacrifice quality for quantity. :)

I'm going to type up lots of chapters today, but that is no excuse not to review every single one. :D


	25. Less Than Easy

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 25: Less Than Easy

Tuesday, April 25, dawned bright and warm, pleasing Lily to no end. The day before she'd only gone to practice, so the money from Sunday's pay day had remained untouched, and today, she felt, was a good day to relax.

Lily started by heading to Manyu Alley, located in Wizarding London. It was her favorite place to shop, considering the vast numbers of tea shops and bookstores where on could simply sit around for hours and never be bored.

She'd just made a purchase at a bakery when, to her surprise and dismay, she saw Sirius Black strolling down the street. She dove back into the shop, peeking through the window, but froze - it wasn't Sirius. The figure was too thin, too short to be Sirius, and his hair was too light.

It was his brother, Regulus. And he was walking next to Severus Snape.

"Sev," she said to herself. How she hadn't noticed him before was a good question, considering Sirius and a declared Death Eater would never walk down an alley together, both looking like Christmas had come early.

They wore black robes and had brisk strides, as if they had somewhere very important to be. As Lily watched, Regulus said something to Snape and they parte, the former Disapparating while the latter ducked inside a little shop across the street.

Lily exited the bakery, crossing the street. She tried to peek through the shop windows, but they were thick and dusty; she could barely make out three figures inside.

The sign above the door read, "Madame Burklie's Shoppe for Tarots and Tea Leaves". Lily tried the handle, but it wouldn't turn.

_Odd..._

Murmurs echoed out of the room, and Lily, ever curious, hastily pressed her ear against the door. She could barely make out what they were saying.

"... so it can be settled cleanly."

"Now, listen, you..."

"Pay attention to the lady, Rusty."

"I refuse to be exploited like..."

Footsteps clattered toward the door, and Lily leapt away. Someone pulled shades over the (already opaque) window, and the murmurs continued. Lily, however, didn't risk eavesdropping again. She Disapparated.

* * *

Lily told no one about the strange sighting. Instead of trying to brave the public that evening with friends, she stayed at home in her own apartment, listening to the wireless and eating ice cream. It was what she called a "girl's night in".

The announcer for the WWN, Wesley Smits, returned after a (rather lengthy) commercial break. "_And returning to our hottest Quidditch new of the season -"_ Lily held her breath _"- Pride of Portree_ dominated_the Tutshill Tornadoes in last Saturday's match, winning by a 320 point lead. Here to talk about it I have the captain of the Prides, your very own _John Monterey!_ Welcome, John._"

"_Thank you, Wesley."_

_"So what do you say, John? Pretty impressive performance put on by your team?"_

_"Oh, most definitely. I think we've really got a stellar team this year."_

_"I hear your new Seeker, Gabriel Rowland, is a real thing to look at. How's his performance been?"_

_"Well, Wes, I couldn't be any happier. Gabe's everything a captain could want in a Seeker - agile, tricky, not too hard-headed."_

_"Not too stupid."_

_"Not at all."_

_"With that lineup, do you think your team has a shot at the Cup?"_

_"Unfortunately, if we want to make playoffs we'll have to do a lot of recovering from losses early in the year. A lot of teams strategize to -"_

Lily tuned out, in a it of a daze as the people on the WWN blathered on and on. She set her bowl of ice cream on the coffee table and settled deeper into her spot on the couch, thinking.

What chance did _her_ team have to nab the Cup? They'd done pretty well so far, winning five games and losing one. But they still had half the season to go - anything could change.

And if there was anything Lily wanted desperately in the world, it was to finally take her team to the top.

Suddenly her fireplace glowed green, and before she had time to react, a hand, then a head, then elbows and shoulders appeared in the embers. After some brief fumbling, James crawled out of the grate, brushing himself off with a grumpy expression.

"...James?" she ventured, a bit surprised as to why he was here. It wasn't unusual for people to travel by fireplace - not in the Wizarding world - but most adults used Apparition instead. And he usually didn't show up unannounced.

"Remus has got my wand," he explained, seeing her expression, "and it was urgent. God, I'm not used to Floo anymore. Got a radio?"

Lily nodded to a little box and antenna on her coffee table, and he sighed.

"So you've been listening to it to, huh?"

"Er - not really, I turned it off after Smits started talking about the Prides. What's going on?"

He heaved another sigh - longer, more tired. He crossed the room to settle next to her on the sofa, reaching for the wireless. "It should still be on," he told her as he turned up the volume.

Wesley Smits's voice once again crackled out of the speaker. "_And we've heard recently new photographs have been released to the _Daily Prophet_ showing the two in various locations together. Is this true?"_

"_It's very true,_" said a higher-pitched voice - presumably that of a woman's. "_The _Prophet_ is all set to print these photographs in the sports section tomorrow, as it's a bit too late for the _Evening_."_

_"Can you tell us a little about these photographs?"_

"_Well, Mr. Smits, I can give a few, but too many and I might be fired!_" The pair laughed - Lily didn't understand the joke, but before she could comment, James shushed her. "_I can confirm that one of the locations is what appears to be Diagon Alley in London; another is a Muggle movie theatre -"_

Lily gasped. That's where they'd gone for Remus's birthday - where, foolishly, James had kissed her, and she'd kneed him in the privates. "They're talking about us, those bloody..."

"_Shh_," James said, effectively silencing her once more.

"_Well, there you have it, folks_," the WWN announcer said cheerfully. "_The unfolding scandal between two of Britain's top Chasers, covered exclusively by the Wizarding Wireless Network!"_

_"In part by the _Daily _and _Evening Prophet_,"_ the woman added.

It cut to commercial.

The two sat in silence for a while, Lily disbelieving and James merely disappointed, having confirmed both their fears.

* * *

**Author's Note:** You know, I watched the Twilight movie yesterday. It was pretty good, despite my dislike for the books. Stephanie Meyer may not develop her characters enough, but she tells a good story. I wish there was some kind of "author training camp" so those ideas don't go to waste... oh, wait, that was supposed to be English class. The public school system, failing the world yet again. XD No, but for reals, the Twilight movie was great! Go see it!

Currently listening to: "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy. It's really awesome.


	26. Nothing We Can Do

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 26: Nothing We Can Do

Lily was more embarrassed than angry. The media had been snapping pictures of her from day one, but she never would've imagined this happening - it was turning into a full-blown _scandal_, as if they'd been hiding for weeks. Obviously her publicist had missed a very important day of training…

"We're going to go down to the _Prophet_ right now and fix this," the woman said firmly. James just shook his head in exasperation.

"It's no good. People will just think the news people paid us to 'admit' to it or something. No one trusts the news anymore, but you can bet your bottom dollar they'll always think we're lying, no matter what we say."

"So what? At least it'll be better than _really_ lying."

"You wanted to keep it quiet, now I'm saying keep it quiet," he replied irately. "It's too late. There's _nothing_ we can do. Nothing. Nix, nada, zip, zero, zilch."

"Alright, alright." She rolled her eyes. "You made your point."

"Thank you."

There was a bit of silence before she spoke again. "So…what do you want to do?"

"Er."

"_Other_ than do something about this, obviously," she added sarcastically, "since there is absolutely _nothing_ we can do. Nix, nada, zip -"

He stuck out his tongue. "Shut up."

"Make me."

He didn't do anything, only placed his feet on the table and leaned back in his seat. "Maybe we can do it."

Lily looked revolted. "What?"

"You know, have sex. Copulate. Bang. Shag."

"I'm trying to talk about a serious issue, and you want to have _sex_?"

James shrugged, folding his hands behind his head. Something in his manner reminded her of a cat - too lazy to do much for himself, but definitely willing to accept favors from others. "That seems to be the nature of this entire relationship."

There. He'd gone and done it - pointed out the obvious. Lily stiffened.

It was true that their relationship revolved around sex. It was a staple, something they'd done without really contributing a thought to it. But for him to pull that card now, when things were about to turn much worse…

She glared at him, crossing her arms. "Get your feet off my coffee table, you pig."

"Lil, are you seriously mad?"

"No, I'm not _mad_. Of _course_ not."

"Jesus Christ, Lily."

She scowled. "Our hot-out-of-the-oven relationship has just been exposed to the _entire_ Wizarding Britain, James. It's a 24-hour circus for the fans. The media is _delighting_ in exploiting us right now, and all you want to do is romp around like this doesn't mean anything to you -"

"Bloody hell." He rolled his eyes, though a mix of anxiety and regret welled up in his throat. He could tell he'd pushed it. "Okay, first off, I was _kidding_. Why can't you tell when I'm joking?"

"I dunno, maybe because you don't say anything to me! I just need to know that I'm not alone in this, okay? How can I know if you really want to be here right now?"

"- and second of all, you're the one who didn't want to jump into a relationship. _I've_ been waiting on _you_. So don't tell me I think it doesn't matter."

She let out a frustrated growl, throwing her hands in the air as she turned away. "Of course. Now you're going to do 'the speech' and hope everything will be alright."

"I don't even know what you're talking about," James said angrily, moving into her line of sight again. It was apparent that they weren't just talking about his shallow jest anymore. "Lil, if you have something to say, just say it."

Lily released a shuddering _whoosh_ of breath and said through gritted teeth, "I've been _trying_ to. I - I'm scared, James. I'm scared you're going to change your mind and I'm frustrated as hell that we have to be a secret. I thought I could handle it, but I can't."

"I'm not going to change my mind," he said, but she didn't seem to hear him, closing her eyes.

"I've been in so many shallow relationships," she continued. "And as long as we're secret, as long as we just hook up whenever we can without being able to - to go on dates or talk to each other like normal couples, how am I supposed to feel reassured that this is different?"

He didn't say anything. His hands twisted uncomfortably in his lap as he thought of all the things they'd said and done. It seemed different to him, drastically different.

How could she not see that?

"We can't tell people," James finally replied, his mouth dry as he realized the magnitude of what he was saying. _We can't tell people. Ever._

As in, _We can't be a normal couple._

"It's driving me mad," she said.

He understood the frustration - how often he'd heard people talking about Lily, how much he'd yearned to say just how well he knew her, that he'd seen a side of her no one else had seen. That's what he _liked_ about being with her.

But the worry in her eyes was something else, and it hurt him. She didn't trust him not to let her down.

"I can't make promises to you, Lily," he said finally, wondering how the conversation had turned in this direction, "but… I'm not going to change my mind. I'm not afraid of taking a little risk, and I'm not afraid of people finding out. It's just - there are so many factors in the way."

"What factors?" she wanted to know. "What are people honestly going to do that would stop us from being together? We'll be the gossip for one day, and then it'll blow over. What's so important that I can't even stand next to you in public without being worried people will take pictures of us?"

Silence. Then, "It's just… complicated."

She didn't respond.

James, frustrated, ran a hand through his hair and attempted to explain again. "It just needs time, okay? Everything will be fine as long as we don't add any fuel to the fire."

"I can think of only one way to completely avoid it," Lily said, casting her eyes to the floor. She was still rigid where she sat, unable to acknowledge him now.

"Don't," James said hastily. "Please, please, please don't even bring it up."

"I'm just being realistic," she snapped, turning around to face him. "God, do you think I expect this to last forever? Nothing lasts forever."

"What, so just because you're scared, we should throw away something good?" He shook his head and also looked away, but the words still formed in his mouth. "I said I'm not afraid. I said I wouldn't change my mind. Can you do the same for me?"

"I don't even trust you."

Well, that was like a punch to the stomach. "We just have to lay low for awhile, alright?" And he added, "you can trust me. One-hundred percent."

"What makes you think I want to lay low?" she asked without response to his second comment. "Maybe I did before, but like I said… I don't know if I can. The situation's changed."

"I know you want to be with me," he said after some hesitation. Lily finally looked him in the eyes, and she was surprised to see sorrow brimming in his expression. "You say it yourself; you want to be with me. Maybe not forever, maybe not even tomorrow, but right now, you do."

She was quiet for a moment, and then, "Is right now good enough?"

He kissed her then, so slowly and gently and unlike his other attempts that she nearly froze under his touch. His hands ran, brushing her neck with a tingle before sliding around to clasp the back of her head.

"James," she whimpered as he pulled away, almost embarrassed at how easily she gave in. Her hands were already curled tightly on his shoulders, breathing shakily. A hand smoothed against her cheek tenderly.

"_You can trust me_," he repeated. "I promise… I'm not just here because you're beautiful, Lily."

She trembled.

"I love you, Lily Evans," he murmured, leaning his forehead against hers, "and there's nothing we can do about it."


	27. More Mystery

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 27: More Mystery

Lily's breath hitched in her throat. There, he'd just bared his heart and soul, lain it out for her to see. How could he be so - so hasty and yet so _honest_?

But of course, it wasn't _hasty_, per se. In fact, they'd been together a month to the day. It just seemed too surreal - too new to really comprehend. Was this even possible?

"How do you know?" she asked quietly. Her hands slid from his shoulders, down, down, over his chest and down, to press against his flat stomach. She'd never say so, but she liked feeling him breathe, the rise and fall of his rib cage as it grew quicker and shallower.

"I just…know," James said, not looking away. His hand slid down, too, and laced its fingers with hers. "God, have you ever just _known_ something? Felt it so deeply and passionately that you know there's no way it's untrue?"

Slightly awed, she searched his eyes for any hint of his jokester personality. It wasn't there - it was just _James_, and suddenly she felt she'd known much less of him than she'd imagined. "You… feel that way about me?" she asked, child-like.

"Undeniably so," he told her, and she curled up a little closer to him on the sofa. "Do you feel the same?"

She looked at him. "I think I do."

He pressed his lips against hers briefly, then smiled. "Sorry, could you say that again?"

"I said, I think so," she said with some confusion, and he kissed her again.

"Sorry, what?"

"I thi -" And James cupped her jaw, bringing their mouths together for the third time, as full and sweet a kiss as he'd given her before. It was a long time before they parted, and this time he gave her a cocky grin and murmured,

"Not good enough, Evans."

She ignored this and wrapped her arms around his waist, falling over him like she'd never kissed him before. Naturally James accepted the attention, glorying in his exclusive privilege to Lily - her slight body, the way she sent quakes of adrenaline up his spine - why, half of what he liked about her was seeing her like this.

Lily pulled away and murmured, "_You're right._"

"_About what?_" he wanted to know, completely distracted - though his heart was pounding and his head still spinning from the confession.

"_That there's nothing we can do._"

Lily loved easily, that much was true. She loved Remus. She loved Sirius. She loved Peter. She loved her Quidditch team, and she even loved her sister and Vernon. And now, more than ever, she loved James.

She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, being able to admit it to herself, and from the look in his eyes, he was experiencing the same sense of relief. "I love you," she told him, "I really do."

She'd heard the words before, of course, and she'd also said them, but Lily never felt so honestly _moved_ in her life as she did then.

James scooted away, untangling their bodies, but he still kept a grip on her hands, as if should he let go, she'd fade away. He offered her a self-conscious smile. "Well, I'm glad that's out of the way," he joked awkwardly.

"I'm sorry," she half-chuckled, though she was pink from the combination of nervousness and the mini makeout-session. "Sorry I ever suggested we break up, I mean. I feel - horrible."

He didn't know what to say to that, except, "We can't pretend it didn't come up… but Lily, we'll resolve all those things. Okay?"

"Okay," she replied softly, not bothering to add that neither of them was really sure what "those things" referred to. But this was good enough for her - if he wanted to work through their issues, then she'd go for it. She couldn't say no; she was in far too deep for that.

After a long silence, sitting and looking at each other with their hands entwined, he reluctantly let go and stood up. "Well…" he said hesitantly, "I guess I should go. I don't want to interrupt if you were - planning on having people over, or something -"

Lily smiled then, because she knew this was his way of asking to stay. "No one's coming over," she told him. "Would you - I dunno, would you like something to eat? It's a bit past dinnertime. I could find something in here, I think."

"If you want to make me an omelet," he suggested idly, accepting this subtle invitation. Lily cocked an eyebrow. "Just kidding, just kidding. I know your apartment's probably not capable of entire meals. It's a wonder you're on the Floo system."

"You're fairly correct," she laughed, getting up to open her icebox. "Let's see. I've got - fizzy drinks, beer - which I really shouldn't have, don't let anyone on the B.I.L. find out -"

"- those old fart sponsors probably drink more than anyone else -"

"- an old package of Levitating Liquorice - oh! You're in luck. Leftover macaroni."

James looked slightly revolted. "I'll guess I'll just skip dinner then, Lil. Don't you ever stock that thing up?"

"Yeah," she replied, "when someone's over and points out that I need to. Beer?"

He sighed and seated himself. "I suppose so."

Lily trotted back over to the table, setting a frosty can of beer in front of James and sitting across from him. She had an Irn-Bru for herself, and they opened their drinks in silence as the wireless, tuned out but still picking up interference, crackled in the other room.

"I had a dream about Quidditch last night," she said quietly, sipping her soda. "It involved you."

"Oh?"

"Yes… our teams played each other for the League Cup."

James's eyebrows shot up. "How did I do?"

"Horribly. We completely trounced you, and your captain went home in tears."

"Poor Rusty."

Lily blinked. "Rusty?"

"Yeah… my captain, Russell Smith. We call him Rusty for short."

_Pay attention to the lady, Rusty…_ Severus chanted in the back of Lily's mind.

Something was definitely wrong.

James saw her distressed look and set his drink down, a puzzled look spreading across his face. "Lil?"

It didn't make sense at all. Of course it wasn't the same Rusty - how many Quidditch captains met Death Eaters in mysterious shops?

"_Lily_?" he repeated gently. "You alright?"

She glanced up, blank-faced from thought. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Alright…" James shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "You looked kind of out of it there. Are you absolutely sure you're okay, then?"

"Yes, I'm _absolutely_ sure," she sighed, pushing her drink away from her.

She suddenly felt sick with curiosity.


	28. Snippets

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 28: Snippets

"I demand to be let in!"

"I'm sorry, sir," the green-robed witch said, shrinking back from a very upset James. "Our policy is strict. Family members only."

"Look," the man growled, pointing at the door, "if you don't let me in the room within the next five minutes I swear -"

"WAIT!" Footsteps clattered down the tiled hallway as Sirius, pursued by three or four St. Mungo's security guards, sprinted up to the door and skidded to a stop. "Let _me_ in, at least."

"Name?"

"Sirius Phineas Black."

"You're not listed," the mediwitch replied promptly, dropping the papers on her clipboard. "I'm very sorry, sir… though… I can show you to the waiting room, if you'd like…" she trailed off, eyeing him hopefully.

"Look," the second man said loftily, "That man in there is my husband. And this," he added, clapping James on the shoulder, "is his brother-in-law."

James grinned weakly.

The witch faltered. "You're…"

"Gay? Yes," Sirius sighed dramatically, "irreversibly so."

She shifted nervously. "But… you're not listed…"

"Well, no, I wouldn't be, would I?" He rolled his eyes. "Really, the insensitivity of people these days…"

"I am so sorry," she gasped as the security guards, who at this point had caught up and heard most of the exchange, nodded in agreement. "Please go in. _Both_ of you."

"Thank you," James said snidely as they stepped past her into the room.

Upon this they realized that their endeavors had been in vain, as Remus was already awake and crawling out of bed when they entered. He looked up at the click of the door and smiled.

"About time you came along," he laughed, holding up an arm. It was bandaged rather minimally. "If you're here to pull my ventilator you're a bit too late, they already saved me."

"Damn," Sirius said, making a show of slapping his forehead. "You have no idea what we had to say to get in here."

"I have some idea," Remus replied dryly. "I heard you through the door. Oi, James, I've got your wand."

"Thanks." James accepted and looked over it critically. "Huh, not a scratch. Well done, mate."

Sirius cast a Muffliato spell on the room, which would prevent anyone from overhearing their conversation. "You two ought to be more careful."

"Yeah, yeah. I trust Dumbledore got the reports?"

"He's got a few people on it right now."

"We're going to need more than a few. They're a pretty nasty bunch, and if you don't recall, the full moon's coming up…"

Sirius quirked an eyebrow, leaning against the closed door. "What's that got to do with anything?"

James sighed angrily. He understood what Remus meant, but it was a bigger problem than he would've expected. Than _anyone_ would've expected. "It means they're working together, Sirius. It means they've already got a grip. They've already made a decision, and it's not a good one."

There was a thick silence in the room.

"Therefore, we need to go talk to Dumbledore, _now_."

"He knows, James," Remus said. "It was all in my message. I just hope he's doing the right thing by not sending out a larger force."

"Or perhaps we can't afford a larger force."

"So what if a couple werewolves are causing trouble? They're always causing trouble," Sirius said dismissively. "Sorry, Remus, but most of them aren't exactly Muggle-friendly. What we should really be worried about are -"

"- exactly what I've been investigating," Remus reminded him. "So long as I can see Dumbledore soon, we might have a shot. They want to hear it from him."

"_Everyone_ wants to hear it from him." James began pacing anxiously, angrily. It was too much.

Pressure had been building up on the war for more than fifteen years, but things were getting far worse. People kept inside their homes after dark for fear of Death Eaters. The Gringotts bank had doubled, even tripled security, making it harder to withdraw money. The Daily Prophet was churning out papers as fast as it could with stories of death, disappearance, and calamity.

Remus grabbed his robes and pulled them on over his hospital garments, not saying anything. He understood James's frustration, but it was so different watching objectively than it was being in the thick of it.

In his opinion, James had it _lucky_.

"Leaving Britain again sounds like a pretty nice idea right about now," Sirius commented, a wrinkle forming in his brow. "I know I told Dumbledore I'd do anything for the Order, but a carefree vacation would be cool. And maybe the opportunity to date some girls."

Remus snorted. "You don't have time for a girlfriend."

"I _had_ time."

"That's different," James said, slightly irked. Yes, Sirius had turned her over, but it was still annoying to be reminded of… _them_, going through the motions of being a _couple_ and knowing things together no one else would know…

The atmosphere wasn't – tense, exactly, but it was stiff. No one knew what to say. The whole situation was ambiguous and vague from an outsider's point of view, and no one wanted to elaborate.

Snippets, here and there. Just snippets. Bit of news so everyone was safely updated but never _completely_ informed.

Remus sighed deeply. Maybe they didn't tell each other _everything_ anymore – maybe it was safer if they didn't – but one day everything would become clear.

So he didn't ask.

He just waited.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Again, sorry for the wait. I'm just a chronically slow updater... and what's more, I only have a four-chapter backlog right now. But as soon as I get time off I'll started updating more often, I swear. D:

Please review. It's quite inspiring. :D


	29. Egotism

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 29: Egotism

On Saturday, April 29, the Montrose Magpies played and beat the Chudley Cannons in a very brief game. No one was surprised. Despite its oddly faithful fanbase, the orange-clad team was really terrible.

Still, every win was a boost of confidence for the Magpies, and not long after the game James was spotted walking about like he owned the world.

"You've got way too much time on your hands," Lily laughed after catching him admiring himself in the mirror. "Don't you have something to do?"

James pouted. "No. Besides, we've just won two games in a two weeks… pretty damn good if you ask me."

"You're undefeated, James. I don't think the time span really matters."

He beamed and pecked her on the cheek. "That's the true."

"Good, now would you stop preening your ego in here? I _am_ trying to work, you know." She indicated a half-filled form on her desk.

James leaned over, whimsically observing her handiwork while simultaneously attempting to slide his hand down her shirt. Lily swatted him away, still wondering how she put up with such a pig.

"Love isn't logical," he said after she voiced this concern. It brought a smile to the redhead's face.

That word again: l-o-v-e. It felt like getting twelve Outstanding OWLs or winning the Triwizard tournament: thrilling.

"What are you working on?" he asked politely, unaware of the effect his one statement had on Lily. "'Application for Employment'? You already have a job."

"Being a Quidditch player doesn't pay _that_ well." Lily quirked a grin at him. "So I'm applying for a part-time job at the Ministry. Sort of a secretary position."

He laughed. "I can't see you being a secretary, Lil. You'd probably get fired for poorly seducing the clients or something."

"Hardy har har. Although it seemed to work on you."

James kissed her soundly, grinning like a madman. "You could've hit me over the head with a brick and chanted in Latin, and I still would've fallen for you," he told her. "I'm dead gone."

"Glad to know," she murmured with a faint blush. He looked quite pleased with himself.

James cast another glance at the application. "Previous Work Experience: professional quidditch; assistant junior manager, Flourish and Blotts; pumpkin picking – _pumpkin picking?_"

"I used to help out a pumpkin farmer when I was a kid," she replied defensively, the blush in her cheeks growing deeper. "He paid my sister and me £4 an hour."

James raised an eyebrow. "_Pumpkin picking?_"

"It was really miserable work," Lily allowed, covering her application with her hand. "Shut up."

"I know; I'm being a brick," he answered, grinning. "But you don't mind, right?"

"There goes that ego again."

He shrugged and strolled away from the desk, picking up a copy of the _Evening Prophet_ which had been lying on the windowsill, still rolled and tied. He absentmindedly loosened the twine from the paper and flipped through the first few pages.

"Fudge's put out an educational decree, _again_," James commented offhandedly.

"He always is. What's this one?"

"Something about improved unity with Durmstrang and Beauxbatons. I dunno. Nothing important."

Lily studied her work. "A friend of mine goes to Beauxbatons. Met her when she came to Scotland for Easter holidays."

"Huh." James wasn't really paying attention to Lily's story. He was more concerned with the headline of the Sports section, neatly typed in boldface:

WAS MAGPIE-CANNON GAME FIXED?

Underneath, the article accused, "POTTER AND EVANS AT IT AGAIN."

"Oh, my God," James said. Hearing the cold tone in his voice, Lily stiffened and look up.

"What is it?"

"C'mere, this is bloody insane."

She rose from her seat and looked over his shoulder, slumping as soon as she read the headline. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"Talk about it."

"There's no way…" Lily trailed off, reading the article. "'The secret lovers are reported to have many friends throughout the league' – well, that's true, but how the f -"

"Look at this, " James said quietly, running a finger down the article. His finger traced the second-to-last paragraph. "'Betting on matches by members of the league is strictly forbidden due to the risk of a thrown game, but Evans and Potter don't seem to care…'"

He crumpled the newspaper up in his fist suddenly and threw it at the wall. "Bloody wacking _Prophet_!" he yelled.

"James, calm down," she said, grabbing his arm. "It's just one article…" But she, too, was shaky with surprise. Who would really accuse them of this?

He made a short noise of strangled anger in his throat and faced her, eyes ablaze. "I hate this f---ing town. All they live for is gossip, gossip, gossip. I _love_ Quidditch, Lily… I would _never -_"

"I know," she interrupted, "and apparently I've been accused as well. But if we went around confronting over dumb rumor, people wouldn't have to think twice before making allegations. So let it go."

He heaved a great, frustrated sigh and threaded his hand through his hair. "I can't bloody let it go. I hate these rumors."

"They want us to answer. We won't answer."

James nodded, albeit reluctantly.

Lily gently retrieved the crumpled-up _Prophet_ and set it face-down on the table, not quite wanting to look at it anytime soon. She would think about this later – right now, there were more pressing issues that she'd wanted to get to the bottom of. Something had just come to mind.

"James," the woman said softly as she looped her arms in his, "I need to ask you something."

He visibly relaxed, effectively distracted. "…yes?" he replied huskily.

"What's your captain's address?"

What a mood-killer – James's momentary anticipation flew out the window as he regarded Lily bemusedly. "My captain? You want to pay him a visit or something?"

"No, you brick," she said, rolling her eyes. "I just want to write him. I have good reason, I swear."

He eyed her with some skepticism, but picked up a piece of parchment and a quill from her desk, quickly scribbling something down. "Here," he said, handing it to her. "He's not fond of owls, so he may not reply."

"I think he will," Lily said confidently. "I would if I were in his position."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What on earth does she mean by that? I can't help but think this must be a really confusing situation for James. Poor fellow.

So, I hope people are still reading, because I realize that I suck at updating. Okay, I knew that a long time ago. But still. Sigh. You can thank the darling author _Zay_ for this update... even though her reviews are always really kind, I sense a silent threat in them. Lol.

Please review? :D


	30. To Rusty

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 30: To Rusty

On Sunday, Lily folded up a letter and tucked it inside an envelope, ready to mail it off. She tied it to the leg of the protesting bird she'd borrowed from the post office, a move she'd decided upon after considering how easily someone could recognize her own owl, a big horned grey.

It was a fairly brief note, and vague – somehow Lily knew that things hadn't changed; if Russell Smith's issues concerned Severus Snape, who never got his nose into any business but hers, it probably concerned the Dark Lord as well, in which case code was preferable.

"To Russell Smith," it read. "My acquaintance, James Potter, is a Chaser of yours and provided me with your address. I recently heard somewhere that you are a fan of Divination as well as a regular patron of _Madame Burklie's Shoppe for Tarots and Tea Leaves_. I, too, enjoy Divination and was curious if you'd like to meet and talk about it sometime. Thank you!" The letter was closed with her loopy signature.

Short, sweet, and not exactly to the point. Hopefully Mr. Smith would understand the references she'd dropped into the letter, but he wouldn't take anything more of it if he didn't understand. To any Death Eater, Lily would merely sound like a well-connected fan. Unless, of course, they knew of the circumstances…

It wasn't clear to Lily what Snape would have to do with James's Quidditch captain, but she'd soon find out.

After the now-daily Quidditch practice, in which Lily learned almost nothing new but perfecting a fair number of old techniques, she took a shower and changed in the locker rooms. The girls were still around, jabbering away about the latest brooms as well as the latest clothes, but Lily's mind was still spinning with anticipation.

"Take a look at the concept for the new Cleansweep," Amanda said, practically shoving a catalogue in her face. "It's supposed to have a streamline handle and tail twigs that _never fall out_. How cool would that be?"

"Yeah, cool," Lily said, trying to reach past her for her jacket.

"I think I'm going to get one when they come out next year. You?"

"As long as we're all up to league standard," she replied, making a futile grab. "Er, Amanda, I really have to -"

Suddenly, there were several shrieks as something small and golden-brown fluttered into the locker rooms. The blur tumbled past a startling Rosie, over Amanda's head, and, talons out, hit Lily's shoulder with a surprising lack of accuracy. It toppled to the floor before hopping up, clacking its beak alertly.

"What the…"

The owl hooted impatiently and held out its leg.

"For me?" The redhead reached down and gently removed the letter, and the owl strutted triumphantly out of the locker room.

Amanda peered after it as Lily seated herself a wooden bench. "How odd," she commented. She then noticed the envelope. "Go on, open it."

"I'm _trying_," Lily growled, struggling to hide the mail from a very curious Rosie, who was hopping around trying to get a view over Lily's shoulder. "Eurgh!"

"Oooh, is that from _Russell Smith_?" Rosie exclaimed, leaning over. "It _is_! Lily-chan, I had no idea you were in correspondence with him. He's six years older than you, you know. Simply dashing."

"It's not at all like that," Lily replied, rolling her eyes. Rosie seemed to ignore this as she went into a private soliloquy about dating Smith at Hogwarts and knowing what he was _all about_. Somehow the Chaser was able to ignore this and slid a finger under the wax seal.

_Dear Miss Evans,_

_it is always intriguing to discover another proponent of Divination. In fact, your acquaintance, I'm sure, would also be interested in the study if he knew all its virtues. Therefore, I'd like to invite both of you to a private dinner at my penthouse tomorrow at eight. Please inform him._

_The sincere_

_Russell Smith_

Lily quickly shoved this in her pocket, despite the protests of her teammates. She slipped past them, grabbed her jacket, and trotted out the door. "I have to find someone!" she called.

Rosie watched her go and contemplated this. "So Lily-chan's going to the Montrose captain's fancy penthouse? Maybe she can work something out to our advantage!"

Amanda lightly punched her captain's arm. "Don't even suggest it. Did you see the stuff in the Prophet?"

The Beater nodded grimly. "If it's true, the entire Holyhead reputation will be destroyed."

"But hey, if it isn't – only most of it will be destroyed."

Lily Flooed to James's apartment directly after getting home. Hopefully he wouldn't mind the unannounced visit.

However, it seemed James _did_ mind – as she approached the closed door of his bedroom, she caught the sound of hushed voices behind it.

"- can't really be that terrible -"

"- talked to Dumbledore, and he thinks we need all the help we can get -"

"But it can't be that bad, right? They'll understand."

None of the voices were James, and the last one was a woman's. Lily went stiff, unsure of what, exactly, she was hearing and whether or not she should interrupt. Finally, she ventured to knock.

The voices fell silent, and there were two muffled _cracks_ before the door opened, revealing a somewhat hassled-looking James and Sirius.

Lily's heart thumped at the sight of Sirius, and she took in his unkempt appearance with a slightly curious eye: he appeared as though he hadn't shaved in a few days, nor slept for that matter.

"I'll see you around, James," Sirius said, brushing past Lily to the other room. He didn't glance at her once, but James did, taking her in appreciatively while his friend showed himself out.

"I'm sorry – did I interrupt something?" she asked politely, trying to process what she'd heard – and why Sirius, who had always been a good friend, was so cold. It must've been the awkwardness of their post-breakup status that made him act the way he did.

James's hand crawled around her waist and he kissed her on the cheek in greeting. "No. Sirius was just leaving. He wanted to ask my opinion on his book."

"Oh, is it finished?" She put a hand on his shoulder and moved him away to look in his eyes.

"Oh, he'll probably never be finished with that bloody thing," he said dismissively, moving in for a better kiss. Lily turned her head, other things weighing on her mind.

"I've actually got something to ask you, James."

Trying not to be disappointment by this gentle rejection, he nodded. "Go ahead."

She smiled sheepishly, shrugging as if to say "It's not a big deal," but her eyes said differently. "I was just wondering if you'd like to go to dinner with me tomorrow at eight."

"Sure. Where?"

Lily contemplated her answer for a moment; should she tell him? How much needed to be told? After all, it would be best to be prepared, but if she'd misinterpreted Rusty's message and he really only wanted to talk about Divination, then James would wonder what the hell she'd been on about.

No. He deserved to know, regardless.

"We're supposed to be speaking with your captain, Smith," she said carefully. James's eyebrows went up in surprise. "He said he wished to speak with us."

"About what, pray tell?" James sat gingerly on his bed, looking at her now with a strange expression. She swallowed.

"We'll find out soon, I suppose."

* * *

**Author's Note:** The official song for this chapter is "Faust, Midas, and Myself" by Switchfoot. Like most of the official songs, it has nothing to do with the chapter. But it is (Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure voice:) most excellent. :D So please give it a listen.

I really don't much to say about this chapter, other than I think it's kind of lame. So. Please review.


	31. An Unlikely Discussion

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 31: An Unlikely Discussion

The next day at eight o' clock PM, Lily and James Apparated to Russell Smith's penthouse, only bearing a vague idea of what lay in store for them: either an extremely boring chat regarding fortune-telling, or an extremely important conversation concerning the mysterious exchange with Severus Snape.

If he hadn't gotten the code, Lily decided, she'd bring it up anyway; James blanched, saying it was rude to eavesdrop and then interrogate someone. But personally, he seemed irritated that she hadn't filled him in earlier.

"It didn't seem that important," she'd tried to insist. He'd just scoffed.

"Which is why you planned this, right?"

She didn't quite have a response to that, so nevertheless they arrived at the building on time. After a few tentative knocks, the painted yellow door swung very wide open and there stood another supreme athlete.

It would be modest to say Russell Smith was fit. He was bulkier than James, more equipped as far as biceps went. He was also lower-set to the ground, whereas James was tall and lean.

Smith had dark brown hair and dark brown eyes which shone with unusual calmness. Lily couldn't see why Rosie had dated him – they were completely opposites.

"Come in," he said evenly, casting a brief glance around the stairwell. "Kettle's on the stove."

James took Lily's hand as they walked in, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Out of habit she returned it with her equally kind albeit firm grasp.

"Take a seat," Smith said – not so much an offer as an order. Obediently they dropped onto metal chairs surrounding a metal dining table, and he brought the tea.

"Thank you," Lily said shyly as he handed her a cup of steaming liquid.

Smith sat, said, "You're welcome," and took a long look at both of them. James didn't let go of Lily's hand.

"So it's true, then, that you're together?" the captain remarked casually. James nodded, much to Lily's surprise. Apparently the rule of silence they'd established earlier didn't apply to this man.

"But we're here in regards to other things," Lily added meekly.

"Yes," the captain conceded, his curiosity, for the most part, being satisfied. "You overheard my conversation?"

Suddenly Lily wondered just how smart this was. Perhaps Smith was a _supporter_ of Death Eaters – in that case, wouldn't he be angry she'd overheard? Would he be angry enough to try and silence them?

But James answered for her before she could make a decision. "Yeah, she did, Rusty," he said equally calmly, which made her wonder vaguely if she was the only one with trepidations. "And we want to know exactly what's up."

Smith nodded, and Lily relaxed the smallest bit.

"See," the man began, "I am not a supporter of the Dark Lord."

James and Lily exchanged glances.

"Some time ago," he continued, "I was approached by a young woman – a reported for the _Daily Prophet_. She showed me pictures she'd taken of the two of you."

"Wait!" Lily exclaimed, prompting an expression of mild surprise on Smith's face. "Did she say how she got them?"

James's grip on her hand tightened as Smith said carefully, "She was new in the press. Said she'd been shown around by one of the agents, and they'd hung around later than -"

"Oh, _God_," Lily groaned, slightly revolted. "You have to be kidding me."

"What is it?" James wanted to know."

"It was Severus," she told him lowly, and watched the emotions – anger, jealousy, more anger – flit across his face.

"Snivellus," he growled, dropping her hand and running his fingers through his hair. "I swear to God, if I see that little bugger I'll hex him all the way to -"

"Better not, Potter," Smith said coolly. "You both have a reputation to recover, remember?"

James dropped his hands into his lap, subdued, but a muscle twitched in his jaw. He was holding himself back.

"Now," Smith continued, "Just as I was trying to worm these photographs out of the _Daily Prophet_ reporter, the agent, for lack of a better word, showed up. The very same," he added, met with James's expression of shock. Lily was, of course, not surprised. Her brows were raised and her mouth tight – things had begun to fall into place.

"He was trying to strike a bargain?" she asked quietly.

_I'll always stand between you and him._

"You must know him well," Smith replied with a nod.

"No, she doesn't," James muttered. Lily shot him a look.

The Quidditch captain folded his hands on the table and looked between the two younger people before him. "His deal was simple. The pictures – and accompanying stories – would be held back if I gave them a story in return.

"Let the Daily Prophet print me, an internationally famous sports star, as being anti-Muggle and anti-Muggleborn, and you two would be spared."

There was a long silence as Smith watched for their reaction. Not surprisingly, James spoke first. "What did you do?"

_Well, it's obvious, isn't it?_ Lily thought. _He said no._

"I told them I'd think about it."

"What?" she looked up, distressed. "You can't possibly – they've already printed stories, it's too late. It's -"

"They'll print more," Smith said dismissively, leaning back in his chair. "They'll _destroy_ you. You two are a fine pair of Chasers, and you have long careers ahead of you. They push any more bull about you, my reputation as a Captain goes down. They print me saying a few nasty things, my reputation as a _person_ goes down. Either way, I'm screwed. Why take anyone else down with me?"

James ran a hand through his hair again, and gritted his teeth before replying carefully, "It's not that simple, Rusty. You're an influential person, and this will be direct support for Vo – for You-Know-Who."

"Exactly," Lily added. "It'll be -"

"I've made up my mind," Smith said evenly. "They've manipulated me into it. I'm afraid there's no other way."

"There must be," she said pleadingly, and James, in an unusual display of concern, pulled her close and kissed her hair.

Smith watched this without a smile. For a long time the three stayed there, each wondering privately what fate would throw into their path next.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Forgive me if the next few chapters are sub-par... I have a terrible sinus infection right now. And I can't really concentrate on anything.

Save a horse, leave a review.


	32. A Bitter Victory

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 32: A Bitter Victory

James hadn't so much as _thought_ about Quidditch for days.

Oh, he'd gone to practice, and of course he was always thinking about his fitness (alright, not always. He still drank, like this day) but he had other things, bigger things weighing him down.

He voiced this to Remus once inside the Hog's Head. His friend just laughed and said, "If you'd told fifteen year-old James Potter that there were bigger things than Quidditch…"

James stuck out his tongue.

"Whisky," the old bartender grunted, not really looking at either of them.

"Not today, Aberforth," Remus said very kindly.

"Hm." A curt nod.

Once they were alone again, blessed by the anonymity of a dark, empty pub, James turned to his friend. "So what have you been up to?"

"Got a new wand, actually," Remus said, extracting the item from his pocket. "Twelve inches, willow, dragon heartstring. Apparently good for Charms."

He handed it over to James, who held it up in the light appraisingly. "Nice. What was your old one?"

"Eleven inches, cherry, unicorn hair."

"Huh."

"Yeah."

James passed the wand back, his brow smoothing out. He nodded, and Remus cast a Muffliato charm on their conversation. "So," he said.

"Dumbledore finally responded to my report," Remus said quickly. "I don't know why it's taking him so long - he's probably busy, or - or something. Too many people who want to talk to him?"

"I hear he's getting a little trouble from the Minister, actually," James said offhandedly. "Anyway, what was his response?"

The shabby man sighed heavily, rubbing the heel of his palm against his stubbly face. "Well, I told him about the general reaction - negative, of course," he explained, "and he said we have no choice but to keep trying until we can send someone to Peru."

"Why Peru?" James asked suspiciously.

"The president there is sympathetic to the cause, or something," Remus replied, shrugging. "Anyway, it can't be me again. After that brawl with the - the other - werewolves - _and_ the encounter with unhappy vampires… I think it's time I resign from recruiting."

James looked very thoughtful. "Yes, well, it's probably a good thing I left my wand with you, then."

"I can't thank you enough for that."

The Quidditch player scoffed. Without a single ounce of sarcasm he said, "You know you've helped me out at times. What are mates for, anyhow?"

Remus grinned. "Well at least we can acknowledge that in public now."

"True." James inclined his head. "Honestly, I felt like a berk trying to explain to people that we weren't friends anymore. Lily was convinced I was a racist. I wonder what she'd say if she knew it was a lie."

"Well, you can't tell her."

"Of course," James conceded. "I know I can't."

Remus watched his friend curiously, deciphering his expression as always, and noted, "You really want to, don't you? Tell her?"

James sighed and rested his elbow on the bar. "Honestly, it's driving me crazy that I'm not. Not just the part about you, but this entire thing. It doesn't feel right, somehow - it's like keeping a secret from Sirius or somebody."

Remus nodded, and he watched his friend with sympathy clear on his face. The friends had kept secrets before, but it was bitterly unpleasant, and it was obvious why that feeling would amplify when Lily was in the picture.

In fact, he knew the redhead was an especially tender topic for James - aside from Snape and Smith, who shouldn't have found out in the first place, only Remus, Sirius, and Peter knew about the relationship. The Quidditch player had described the secret as almost intimate, knowing that no one else could interfere.

But with that intimacy came the frustration of being too close, and Remus, a master at recognizing when to back away, was not just concerned.

He was expectant.

"After all," James was saying, "Shouldn't I tell her everything?"

"There are some secrets that must be kept, because there's an equally good reason to keep them as there is to tell them," Remus mused, "but I think in this case you should. After all, Sirius was going to approve her to the Order anyway, right?"

"Don't remind me," James muttered with a scowl. It was the most grating of all recruiting efforts, and though he understood the desperate need to keep up numbers, he couldn't accept the _means_.

Remus shrugged and said, "At least he was genuine."

"How could I have been genuine with Katy? She is a bigot who can't keep her mouth shut."

"She is a really nice person," Remus snapped, "even if she is a bigot. God, James, of all people _I_ have to explain to you? People are raised prejudiced, they don't choose it. You were using her."

"I was not," the other man said loudly, and the discussion fell at ill ease. It seemed as if this was a sore topic too, and as James refused to admit he'd been outstandingly cruel to the poor girl Remus could see he hadn't quite lost his belligerence. He wondered how Lily managed to ignore it.

James ran a hand through his hair and said, "I was just doing as I was told, Remus. I didn't dislike Katy. I just don't want to think about her anymore. So, if you please -" he got up "- I've got to spend a penny."

Remus didn't say anything at all. His friend walked to the bathroom, and the man in shabby robes with already greyish hair finally got up and left the Hogshead.

It was a game, he could see, though no one else seemed to. A recruiting game, in which actions mattered much less than numbers. And Voldemort was swiftly rising to a win.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I'm working on tying this story up. I am predicting another ten or so chapters after this. Mer.

But it's certainly NOT winding down, so don't get the wrong idea. :3 Review, darlings.


	33. A Confrontation Like No Other

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 33: A Confrontation Like No Other

Lily, James observed, was avoiding him.

Not completely, for she still saw him in secret, sometimes sneaking into his apartment, sometimes asking him to hers, but in public she kept very far away.

He decided she was still feeling the sting of match-fixing accusations, or perhaps she was guilty over Smith's blackmailing. _He_ certainly was. But it was still painfully frustrating not to be able to talk to her in public, and he now understood how she'd felt this entire time.

The rumors hadn't blown over in any case, and that was another issue on his mind. Fan mail had lately transformed into hate mail – several Howlers a day – and James had finally bought a post office box and put a stop to his at-home deliveries altogether. Even his teammates, whom he usually got on alright with, seemed more distant than usual.

"I don't suppose you really did bet on our matches," Whitmen, the Beater, had said ruefully out of earshot of the rest.

"No, I didn't," James had replied, more than a little angry.

Whitmen had shrugged. "Then I believe you."

There was nothing more irking than this. In any case, Smith finally seemed to have come to the rescue. Articles and pictures stopped. Rumors were sure to die out _eventually_ – it was just a matter of surviving their wake.

Quidditch practice, as it turned out, was right in the middle of that.

When James walked out, decked in Magpie white and black, he was hit with a violent array of color – head-poundingly bright yellow being most prominent.

Blinking confusedly one of his teammates said, "Did we just walk into a beehive, or what?"

"The latter," Smith said disapprovingly. There was a crowd of at least a thousand, they saw immediately, wearing offensively black and yellow T-shirts that flashed madly, _Caution!_ then, _The Swindling Scotsmen!_

A few held signs that said, _Potter's Thrifty, Smith is Nifty_.

"Well, at least the slogan is creative," said the keeper over the rabble of crowd. James clenched his fists and tried to swallow his anger. The last thing he needed was a public outburst on his latest record. Lily would be mortified. But he couldn't _focus_ with all these people leering and shouting at the team. Someone threw a paper cup onto the grass.

No, come to think of it, she was probably having it worse. The last time he'd seen her she'd mentioned that the Harpies sponsors were considering voiding her contract. Indeed, she was fighting to keep her job – at least James was certain nothing like that could happen to _him_.

With this thought, he managed to calm himself a little bit, and the professional side of him took over. He ignored the jeers of protestors like any other audience, and he hopped up on his Cleansweep.

"Let's practice, boys," Smith shouted decisively to be heard over the white noise; he'd seen that look in James's eye. With only a little hesitation, soon the entire team was up in the air and running drills like nothing had ever happened.

The crowd bubbled.

Things could work.

That is, until one wizard with a _Potter's Thrifty_ poster stood up and chucked a pair of omnioculars at Cody Chockabee as he flew past. They bounced off the Beater's head and Chockabee stopped his flight, spun around, and yelled, "_Potter_!"

Activity froze. The crowd screamed with delight. James almost dropped the Quaffle he'd been about to pass.

"Eh?" he shouted back, feeling slightly intimidated. He'd never really got on with this particular teammate, and since the man also happened to be hefting a blunt bat in one hand, the situation seemed rather foreboding.

"That's _it!_" Chockabee declared loudly, getting the undivided attention of both the crowd and his team. "I'm bloody sick and tired of this nonsense. Potter, it's your fault these muckrakers are here, why don't you just do us all a favor and _pied-pipe them out of here?_"

Before James could respond, Whitmen leapt to his rescue. "That's harsh, Cody," he snapped, "real harsh. James didn't do a thing."

"Now, wait -"

"I don't owe you a bleeding thing," James snapped, flying closer. "I didn't ask to get stalked here, so don't blame _me_ for it."

Chockabee leered at him. "Oh, yeah?" he said. "Well, maybe you did. Who knows, right? All that's certain to me is that _your_ presence is hurting the reputation of the most successful team in the league and someone just attacked me with a _bloody pair of omnioculars_!"

At this point, James's jaw was set and Chockabee was glaring daggers at him. Whitmen looked between them, unsure of how to resolve the conflict. Although the team had fairly gathered the in the same area, the captain now came closer and finally spoke up.

"What's the problem here, Cody?" Smith asked, raising an eyebrow. Chockabee glanced over.

"Well, Russ, I guess it's as good a time as any. Me and some of the others think Potter here is weighing us down. Maybe he should go back to the Arrows."

"That's ridiculous," Whitmen responded. "James is one of the best young utility Chasers in the B.I.L. We can no more trade _him_ back than we can trade _you_ back, or Rusty, or anyone."

No one seemed to heed this, not even James, for the young wizard merely said,

"You think I should _leave the team?_"

Smith put a restraining hand on his shoulder, but James shrugged it off. They were still floating about thirty feet in the air while insult-clad protestors openly stared at the altercation, obviously ecstatic about the division in the team.

"So?" James demanded, looking around at his reluctant teammates. "How many of you agree with this fractious bastard?"

A long silence. "Sorry, Potter," said Jacob Lao, the Seeker. The third Chaser – Johnson – and Longhurst, the Keeper, both shrugged. James's heart skipped a beat.

Only Smith and Whitmen were with him, and even the latter looked unhappy choosing sides.

"Well," James said stiffly, "I guess that's a vote."

He paused.

"I'll go home and write my letter of resignation, then," he added, and he began his descent. Smith said something to his back, but it was lost in the wind that whistled through his ears.

James hit the ground and for an instant felt tears stinging his eyes. Furtively he pinched the bridge of his nose and willed them away. When he got into the locker room, still reeling from the shock, he saw someone had already beaten him there.

"Erm," he said, wondering vaguely why a woman was in the locker room. "Can I… help you?"

"No, but I can help you," she said firmly, striding across the room to him. "Shut the door, darling, and your jaw while you're at it."

James obliged and, not entirely voluntarily, shook the woman's hand. Thoughts of the conflict were temporarily pushed to the back of his mind. "Erm… James Potter?"

"Rosie Arquette," she said briskly, "captain of the Harpies. May I ask you some questions?"

Captain of the _Harpies_? Descriptions of the whimsical Beater who ruled the team with a velvet-covered fist must have been far off, because this assertive lady was nothing like he'd imagined from Lily's stories. She was far too… straightforward.

"Harpies is an all-women team," he said numbly without much thought into what he was saying. She snorted.

"_Please_. I'm not here to recruit you. I'm just going to ask you about Lily-chan, that's all."

"Who?" he asked politely, nibbling the inside of his cheek to keep from demanding what was going on. Outside, he could hear the clamoring of protestors – evidently, Smith had decided practice must go on. James would get chewed out later, but he supposed it didn't matter if he was quitting.

Arquette shook her head. "Lily Evans. There's no use pretending, darling, we've all seen the pictures.

He flushed and, instead of properly responding, mumbled, "Why are you calling me darling?"

"I call _everyone_ darling, darling," Arquette said matter-of-factly, "and now I'm quite impatient to ask _you_ – are you or are you not placing bets within the B.I.L.?"

"I bloody well am _not_," James said immediately, and the woman nodded.

"I thought as much. That's good – the league officials are desperate to know for sure, because there will be _terrible_ implications for the league if you were. Very well. I'll put in a word for you with the newspapers, if I can; this ought to help Lily's case, if I've got you as my – er – oblivious primary source."

_She's a sleuth_, James thought dryly, thinking perhaps Lily wasn't _completely_ wrong, after all.

"I have connections," Arquette said defensively, apparently seeing his skepticism. "Talk to Lily-chan. She knows."

"I haven't been able to see her in awhile," James says truthfully.

Arquette shrugs. "Next time, then."

"Why would you – er – come here to help me?" he asks quite understandably, still somewhat flustered – especially as he realized she might've seen his adverse reaction as he walked in.

_Shoot_.

"_Obviously_," she said, holding up an index finger to emphasize her point, "I want you to keep your job, and I want Lily to keep hers as well. I find both of you intriguing."

James snorted. "Intriguing, eh?"

The captain smiled and shrugged. "You're the rising star of the League; she's the Cinderella story. One of you is going to the World Cup, Potter, and though naturally I hope it's _her_ because then that would also be _me_, you and Magpies are my second choice."

James weighed this statement in his mind and he was utterly undecided – not on whether or not this Harpies Beater was strange, but moreso just _how_ strange she was, on a scale. After all, one can't just _look_ at someone and predict their success. Especially in something so competitive as Quidditch.

He snapped back and realized Arquette had been saying something.

"…and I heard it's going to be in Peru this year."

His eyes widened – her rambling had taken a slight soporific effect on him, but _this_ got his attention. "Where, did you say?"

"Peru," Arquette repeated, and James swallowed. "The World Cup is going to be in Peru."

…_we have no choice but to keep trying until we can send someone to Peru._

"Peru," he echoes numbly.

Perhaps, James thinks, he won't write that letter of resignation after all.


	34. A Most Concerning Situation

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 34: A Most Concerning Situation

They told her They needed time.

It was something she hadn't disclosed to James except in snippets here and there when she saw him, but God, it was hurting beyond belief. Time, They said, "They" being the council of Harpies' managers. It was composed of Rosie (who in all her captainhood had little actual power concerning the team), the head fitness director for the team, the PR agent, and a number of appointees representing the Harpies' sponsor.

The sponsor essentially controlled all aspects of the team, and They were in charge of decision-making.

The council had apparently honored recommendation from B.I.L. officials in saying time was necessary. They said to take a couple weeks off, let it all blow over. They had called up a reserve Chaser, They said, to fill her spot for the next few games.

And Lily watched it all fly by, watched the Harpies play without her. Why? Because if she wanted to keep her job, she had to kiss ass, that was why.

"Go on a vacation or something," They told her.

What was more painful was that her team had won its game the day before, effectively proving to the world how very disposable she was. Even a motley group like the Harpies had people waiting to (literally) get onto the playing field.

"It'll be okay, dear," Rosie had said once she heard. "You know the girls and I won't let them replace you. You're a valuable team member and our publicity stunt to boot. We believe in you."

It had been the first time Lily had ever seen Rosie so serious. The woman had been smiling, but her eyes were genuine and there was not a trace of her usual whimsy in her tone.

Lily waited at her apartment all Sunday, doodling in a notebook and desperately wishing she could go to practice. She had no desire anymore to listen to the radio, or to open the newspapers that were beginning to pile up on her windowsill. It was simply too depressing.

She'd at least gotten out of the house earlier, running a full four miles in 25 minutes, a feat especially good for her since she hated running. It was all the anxiety – and caffeine – that was begging to be burnt off, she knew.

There was a knocking at the door and she got up to open it in a hurry; it was, of course, James, who was swaddled with a heavy cloak and was struggling with an umbrella when she ushered him in.

"It's pouring like hell out there," he exclaimed, kicking off his shoes and throwing back his hood. Lily leaned up and kissed him right there, to his pleasant surprise, and ran a hand carelessly through his dripping hair.

"I missed you," she said simply as he looked at her questioningly.

"I missed you, too," he said, mouth turning up in a small grin, "which is why I've come prepared to spend the next two days with you, shut off to the rest of the world." He held up a paper bag, most likely filled with snacks and drinks, and his smile got wider.

"I can't," she said gently. "I've got to get up early tomorrow."

James's expression immediately became perplexed. "Why? You're a Chaser – you just go to work once a week and relax in between practices."

She shrugged apologetically, though his obvious enjoyment of such a lazy lifestyle made her wrinkle her nose. "I'm actually starting that secretary job at the Ministry, the one I told you about a long time ago."

"Oh." He slipped off his cloak and set the paper bag on her coffee table, looking vaguely disappointed. "Which department is it?"

"The Auror department."

He stiffened.

"I'm just sorting files and things," she said immediately to reassure him. Judging by his expression, he associated the Auror department with fighting and danger. But there could be _that_ much fighting and danger going on, could there? The _Prophet_ said the war was coming to a standstill.

"That's not it," he said, shaking his head. An odd look glimmered in his eyes, and if Lily hadn't known better, she'd say he looked nervous. "In fact, it's nothing. I'm glad you got the job."

"Considering my current job is definitely in jeopardy, I'd say I'm fairly glad for it, too," she said, and he pulled her close, gave her a kiss to distract her from the thought.

That's what she liked about James. He was always distracting her.

--

Time was a blur in the next few weeks. Lily hardly noticed it going by, something which was new for her considering how much was normally going on in her life. But life without Quidditch was life without meaning, and it was early June before she realized how long she'd been without getting on a broom, or opening fan mail, or writing autographs.

Fame was incredibly boring without the drama.

Her new job, meanwhile, was extremely boring as well, and not even in an amusing way. Each day was repetitive beyond belief, and that was where she found herself one Monday morning when none other than James Potter strode in, looking quite nervous to be there.

"_James_," she hissed, sitting p at her desk. There hadn't been anyone in or out of the department for hours, but she couldn't very well leave. "What on earth are you doing here? How did you get a pass in?"

"I actually have good news for you," he said quickly, trotting over to her and apparently deeming to ignore the second question. A purple visitor's pass card swung on its chain from his neck. They were somewhat difficult to get without a good reason, because security had really tightened up around the place and this department was carefully guarded.

Even Lily knew an incredible complexity of magical wards prevented people from leaving with classified information.

"What's that good news?" she asked, like she hadn't a care in the world and like she _wasn't_ concerned about being with him right out in public.

He cracked her a trademark James grin, though it lacked the usual enthusiasm. In fact, he looked rather exhausted. "Rosie Arquette sent me to tell you to go home tonight and start priming for the game on the third."

Lily let out a very unladylike whoop, breaking the vapid silence of the department. Another assistant shot her a dirty look and she immediately lowered her voice. "Is she sure, James? They said I could play?"

"That they did," he confirmed, smiling at the light in her eyes. "Jesus, if I knew you'd look this happy I would've come as soon as she mentioned it to me."

Lily wanted very much to kiss James. She had never been gladder for him than then, because her day had suddenly brightened.

And then, like a sudden personality change, he straightened and put a damper on her happiness. "I also have an appointment with Alastor Moody," he said.

Her heart skipped a beat. "_You_ do?"

He nodded quite solemnly, then added, "It's really nothing. I'm just a messenger boy."

"I don't see what connection you'd have with Auror Moody, to be honest," she admitted, flipping through her papers. Yes, James was penned in for this hour – how had she not noticed before? "Are you involved with an investigation, James?"

"Nonsense," he said, grinning. "I've never committed a crime, nor have I ever tried to enforce the law."

"Well, we do get a strange lot of vigilantes," she suggested slyly.

"Ha – he's probably just going to ask for a character check, seeing as I know half the people in Wizarding Britain," James joked. An indescribable look came over his face. "Can you even imagine? James Potter, a vigilante?"

"Of course it's ridiculous," Lily conceded.

She had no idea how wrong she was.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Fwahaha! Sorry for the long wait between updates. I've been incredibly busy trying to wrap up school and make sure I preserve my GPA. Summer vacation is imminent! And thus so are many, many updates.

I'd really love it if you left a review.


	35. A Great Array

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 35: A Great Array

On May 27th, the Montrose Magpies soundly defeated the Caerphilly Catapults.

One week later, the Holyhead Harpies trounced the Falmouth Falcons, a certain red-headed Chaser leading the way.

The weather got warmer.

Days got longer.

And slowly but surely, the whispers about what came to be known as _that Potter-Evans affair_ faded away, seemingly forgotten.

July came along as lazily as James did to Lily's doorstep, wearing a rather arrogant smirk reminiscent of the days before they began dating. She didn't know what she thought of that.

"Can I help you?" she asked rather belligerently, smirking right back as she held the door open for him. He stepped inside and pushed it closed with one hand.

"In more ways than one," he said huskily, swooping down on her for a kiss. Lily happily obliged, pulling him close and leaning her elbows on his shoulders.

He pulled away after a moment and leaned his forehead on hers. "God, I needed that," he sighed. He released her then and untied his shoes.

She stood there watching him, unable to keep a silly grin off her face. Sometimes when she looked at him she felt eighteen again, completely infatuated, completely romanced.

"Remember when we used to like each other so much?" she murmured as he straightened up.

"I thought we _still_ like each other," he pointed out slowly.

Lily shrugged. "I mean in school. When I thought you deflated and then we started going out, and just for those two months it was the most dazing thing to happen to us?"

James looked at her very seriously and said, "It was _three_ months."

--

The air was thick and hot and stirring with the tension of summer, sweat beading on every surface and a restless, warm wind carrying away the remnants of spring. The sky shimmered with silver sunshine, and the ground was soft and dry.

Perfect Quidditch weather.

Semi-finals began.

It was July 29th. Four matches would be played that day. Within a week it would be known – which was the best team in the League. Eight teams were competing now, Magpies and Harpies the way as first and second in standing, respectively.

But the Harpies wanted it _bad_.

"Alright, girls!" shouted Rosie as she paced in the locker room. The other six athletes sat in a row, jittery and hot. They were in full uniform, and the small room was humid with excitement and anxiety. "As you just saw, the Magpies just _ripped_ apart the Kestrels back there! I want you all to pay with that same aggression!"

Her voice softened. "We're so close. Last year we finished second. Don't let anyone steal it from you again."

The room was silent. "That's all," Rosie added.

The girls looked slightly discomfited with this unorthodox pep talk as they entered the field. There, the Magpies had just finished their victory lap and were walking _into_ the lockers. As James brushed past Lily, he leaned over and murmured,

"You want me to stay and watch or see what's going on at Ilkley?"

"Ilkley," she breathed immediately. The Arrows were scheduled to play the Ballycastle Bats at any moment. The result would determine the girls' potential opponent, if they made it to the next match.

"I love you," he said as he walked away. Everyone pretended not to notice.

--

The crowd screamed. Triumph. Lily could see it all, a blur, a rush of green and gold as spectators rose to their feet and waved their arms like windmills. Somewhere else, the Wasps were walking dejectedly away.

She smiled.

--

"AND THE HARPIES _DESTROY_ THE APPLEBY ARROWS TO COMPETE FOR THE LEAGUE CUP!_"_ the announcer screamed.

Lily could hardly comprehend it.

She was exhausted.

She was proud, too – they had made it back to where they been before. Finalists. They were better, stronger, and faster than they had been before, too.

But the problem was, the Magpies were also finalists.

When Lily walked off the pitch, she could feel James's hazel eyes boring into her.

--

She was the Ministry the next day, working, when James came in. He looked tired – she knew he hadn't gotten much sleep lately, though she couldn't say why – and he was in Magpie practice robes.

"We have a problem," he said as soon as he saw her. Lily's heart flopped. The last thing she needed was another _Quidditch_ problem – she had enough things to deal with.

"Can it wait?" she asked quickly, casting a furtive glance at the trifling number of people who sat waiting to see one of the Aurors. They all looked quite important – and nosy.

James seemed to understand her hesitation because he said, "Outside, then. Only a minute, I swear."

She must've looked uncertain because he added, "For God's sake, there's two other secretaries here. Let someone else take care of it for once."

But leaving her post was really the least of her worries; James and she quickly stepped out the visitor's entrance to Muggle London. They shuffled through an underground and emerged, blinking, to an unsuspecting world.

Of course, people gave them both extremely strange looks, but that was to be expected, considering their clothing. What was actually concerning was the way _James_ was looking at her.

"Lily," he said. He faltered.

"A problem?" she prompted.

"Well, several," he admitted.

--

It was at the last moment that James changed his mind. He realized he didn't want to tell her about the Order, that he was exhausted every day because he spent nights staking out the homes of potential Death Eaters.

At first he'd been disgusted, the way these men could so loyally follow the Dark Lord and so willfully commit murder, then go home to their families at night, acting like they'd been working in an office all day.

But then he began to understand the mentality of it all. This was their _job_, their _passion_, their _belief_, the way fighting it was James's job, passion, and belief. They no more committed murder than he did, because it was for the greater good, wasn't it?

And James didn't want to have to explain that – it was far too – too painful and complicated to explain. He didn't want to tell Lily she'd been part of a recruiting project, an experiment, under the examination of one Sirius Black. James definitely didn't want to tell her how he'd been forced to sweep his entire life under the rug – Remus, Sirius, Peter, even her – until she came back and stirred it up again. _That_ he could not bring himself to say.

But she was looking at him so concernedly, and she was so pale, and he realized she needed _something_, a little red herring, something to appease her where an "it's nothing" could not.

James said, "I am being placed under formal investigation by the B.I.L."

She looked utterly shocked but oddly relieved, and he was glad for it. He'd not known what to do with this information, lingering there without a use, a meaningless worry he'd failed properly indulge.

"They still believe you're a secret bettor, then," she said. She sounded uncertain. James nodded.

"Chockabee and a few other fellows from the league slipped an inquiry to the head honchos," he explained. "The league wants to make sure _everything_ is clear before the League Cup. I have to go through a second physical examination, too, apparently to detect any stimulants."

Lily was skeptical, and he felt a flutter in his stomach. He liked her best this way, when she was contemplating. He was strangely uncaring about the impending investigation. But she said,

"Is one required for _each_ player?"

He shook his head: no.

She looked even more relieved. "It'll be okay, then, as long as we don't cause a big stir…honestly, I'm somewhat resigned to people knowing about us, James. If this is how we have to verify ourselves…"

"I don't want to keep us a secret, anyway," James said softly, touching her chin. His voice trembled. Just looking at her… he couldn't even voice his love. He wondered vaguely if this was unhealthy. "I want everyone to know I've got the best girlfriend in the world."

Lily looked at him unwaveringly. "We won't let Quidditch get in the way, right?" she asked quietly. "No matter how the match turns out…"

"It won't change a thing," he promised. He kissed her again slowly, savoring each moment. He felt her hesitate briefly before sinking into the kiss.

He pulled away after a few seconds. "I love you," he told her.

Lily was quiet for a moment. "I love you, too," she said.

--

There was a clatter. James awoke, blinking blindly, for a moment disoriented in these sheets which were not his and yet the lack of warmth from his side. He fumbled for his glasses on the bedside table.

The room was dark, but he could see a light from Lily's en suite bathroom. Just as he sat up, the door creaked open and she emerged, dressed in just a T-shirt and panties.

"Lily?" he mumbled, glancing at the clock. "It's three in the morning."

"I had to pee. Go back to sleep," she said, slipping back under the covers. Her hand slipped over his bare chest, but he pulled away, saying,

"I actually have to go, too, as long as I'm awake." He crawled out of bed.

"James, come on, you need sleep," she murmured, sounding slightly concerned. He brushed this off. It was true he didn't sleep much anymore, but surely ignoring his bladder couldn't be healthy either.

He stepped into the bathroom and the lights turned on of their own accord. He froze.

There, lying in the sink, was a plastic stick. Not just any plastic stick.

He said hoarsely, "_Lily_?"

She was already standing in the doorway, staring at him with inscrutable eyes.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Please don't hate me. -shields face- I promise I actually know what I'm doing this time. This is probably the most annoying plot twist ever, but it'll work itself out.

Seriously, please review. I'd love to know what you think of this story so far.


	36. All The King's Men

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 36: All The King's Men

"Lily?" he said again. His voice quavered. "What's this?"

"What's it look like?" she said in a soft, strange tone. He looked at her and saw fear on her face. He wondered if she could see the panic on his.

He was only 22. He was a national Quidditch star. He had his whole life ahead of him.

"This can't be happening," he said disbelievingly, staring back into the sink.

He couldn't be a _father_.

"Think how I feel," Lily said, her voice breaking. She sounded prepared to cry. "That's not even the first one; I spent twelve pounds on that damn thing hoping the first one might be wrong -"

"When were you going to _tell_ me?" James wanted to know, turning with an incredulous expression. "Holy hell, Lily, when did this _happen_?"

"I _just_ found out," she replied defensively. The lights in the bathroom flickered. "I would've told you – tomorrow, I guess, or when the time was right-"

"Like when you went into labor?" he snapped, and then felt instantly guilty. He had a part in this, after all. It takes two to make a baby, _this_ he was very aware of. "Holy hell," he repeated, stunned.

Lily backed away from the doorway, an odd expression on her face. "What are we going to do?" she asked very quietly. He almost didn't hear her.

"What do you mean?" he asked stiffly, still not moving.

"Before it was – it was easy, not having a plan," she said hesitantly. She sounded like she had rehearsed this in her head, to no avail. "But Jesus, this changes everything, doesn't it?"

James finally focused on her and was struck by how scared she looked. "Christ," he relented, moving forward to hug her. "I'm so, so sorry, Lily. This is my fault."

_Lily_ was only 22. _She_ was a national Quidditch star. She had _her_ whole life ahead of her.

He buried his face in her hair. "I'm going to be a father," he said, muffled. He released a sigh and she gripped him tighter, sniffling. They swayed together. "Oh, God, help me through this."

--

_The sun was bright and sunny –_

"F---," Sirius exclaimed, scratching out this sentence. He was really no good at this author business. The sun was _sunny_? Whoever had picked his alibi for Africa was far off the mark for him.

He dropped his quill and sighed. He'd never wanted to write a thing. It was just an excuse, a way of putting off the inevitable. He'd been doing so his entire life, come to think of it.

--

Lily stared into the window of the store, feeling like she might vomit. There was no real nausea, but seeing all those baby clothes, the toys, the pastels, the little carriages – it made her sick. She was not cut out for this.

She was out in Muggle London, trying to get her mind off everything. The finals match was just around the corner. She hadn't told Rosie yet, she had no idea what to do, and now she was standing frozen in front of the type of store she wouldn't have been caught dead inside two weeks ago.

Funny, how everything suddenly changed when another life was on her hands.

James had changed, too, since the night before. He was quieter that morning, withdrawn. He said he had thinking to do. Lily didn't want to speculate on the meaning of that.

"Lily?"

She turned and immediately regretted doing so. Oh, if only she'd pretended not to hear! Then she wouldn't have been caught in such an implicating position by, of all people,

"Sirius?" she squeaked, her hands flying to wring her fingers nervously. They hadn't exchanged so much as one word for months, and here he was, exactly the Sirius she remember. "What are you doing here?"

"Procrastinating," the man replied cryptically. He was wearing a long cloak that seemed too warm for August, and he looked pale and tired. "And you?"

She looked away and mumbled, "Just thinking."

"It's okay. James told me," he said gently, a touch of pity and – was that disappointment? – crossing his face. She didn't know what to make of this. "I suppose you don't want to talk about it."

"Not particularly," she said, a lump forming in her throat.

He shrugged. "But I guess you wouldn't want to talk to me at all, given my track record for abandoning you at great lengths of time."

Lily bit her lip. Those words were eerily familiar and she relented to herself that yes, Sirius was prone to do this: cut off altogether and then reappear, unexpectedly, in her life again. Like when he'd returned from Africa and his book-writing tour.

"I…suppose, given my nature for forgiving you, I would," she said tentatively, offering him a shrug.

He smiled sadly. "Walk with me?"

--

James paced. Should he, or should he not? On one hand, she'd probably already gone to Arquette and notified the team that a reserve Chaser would be needed. On the other hand, it would be just like her not to say a thing…

Remus lounged in a chair, watching him. "Seems to me you need to talk this one over with her," he said very slowly, as if the speed of his voice would somehow alter James's reception of his words.

James ran a hand through his hair and didn't say anything.

--

"Have you got everything you need?" Sirius said softly, taking Lily's hand. She imagined how they must've looked, strolling down the street like any Muggle couple, talking quietly and being, as far as their audience knew, perfectly normal. She found the idea pleased her.

"I've not needed anything yet," she told him. "Apparently I'm still in the early stages. I only noticed I was having dizzy spells, you know, and I've got to get a blood test tomorrow to officially confirm it."

He cast her a sidelong glance. "The League Cup is tomorrow."

"I know."

Sirius squeezed her fingers gently and didn't say anything more.

"Why is it that you're always here when I need you, but you're gone when I don't?" she wondered out loud.

"That's my job," he informed her soberly. "I'm your own personal plot device."

Lily laughed a sheer, uncertain laugh. "You intractable fart," she said. "You know what I mean."

"If you're asking why I broke up with you while I did…" Sirius stopped her and looked her in the eyes, an uncanny expression on his face. She was completely entranced. "I love you, Lily, and I love James. I'd do anything he asked of me, y'know? And this – this is what you guys needed. _I_ don't exactly fit into the equation."

"A baby doesn't fit into the equation," she tried to say, but he shook his head.

"Whatever happens, Lily, James will be there for you. His one redeeming quality, right? He's reliable, right on top of the immaturity and the brashness."

Lily bit her lip. Tears were at the corners of her eyes. Hearing about James from someone else who loved him was such a reality check. As in, _Wake up, Lily, you're not the only one who needs this man. He's not going anywhere._

"You okay?" Sirius asked, still quiet.

She said yes.

--

James could not sleep.

He'd spent all day signing autographs, answering fan mail, and giving newspaper interviews – which left him extremely exhausted. Then he'd gone home for a spare few hours of relaxation, while Remus and Peter drank to his Quidditch success; Sirius had congratulated him earlier and was subsequently nowhere to be found.

But all of it had been nauseating. He could hardly act normal as he had quietly disclosed Lily's pregnancy to his friends. The worst reaction of all was Remus. He'd been distressingly quiet all evening. When Peter had asked what was wrong, he'd merely shrugged and said he wasn't "happy with what James is doing."

The celebration had dwindled after that.

But this was not why James could not sleep; it was the imminent Quidditch match. He'd known for a few days that he and Lily would be playing on opposing teams. They'd played each other in a match before, when they weren't dating, and even that had yielded bad results. He couldn't imagine what might go wrong tomorrow.

James turned onto his side, pulling the sheets up to his chin and silently chiding himself. There was nothing to worry about. She wouldn't even be playing in the match, given her… condition.

The thought made his heart twinge considerably. Perhaps this _was_, partly, why he couldn't close his eyes. The confusion. He loved her, this he was completely sure of, but he regretting this happening, was unconvinced he wanted to be a father. The idea that he might be uncertain about the future of their relationship was…terrifying.

But he had to step up, didn't he?

Could he?

When Lily was the one suffering, when she was the one who would most likely lose her job and have to carry and support and give up her ambitions for their child, could he go on joking and playing Quidditch and having a good ol' time?

James knew he would be suffering, too.

And with a pang he realized _that_ was what bothering him most.

* * *

**Author's Note:** My greatest apologies for the delay of this chapter. As you may've known, I did not (and still do not) have a functioning keyboard for my computer. This really sucks, especially when I'm so close to finally wrapping this thing up. (But at least I've gotten rather adept at using an on-screen keyboard. :3)

I'm posting two chapters as an apology... if you reviewed one or both I'd be forever grateful. :)


	37. More Than Okay

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 37: More Than Okay

"_James_," she whispered into the dark. The door clicked shut behind her. Her wand wavered before her, dousing light on the apartment.

It seemed normal, disorganized, far too lived-in, far too James. She wondered why, with all the money he was making, he did not have a house or even slightly larger accommodations. The thought had never occurred to her before.

She tried not to think about her own neglected apartment. She probably wouldn't be able to afford the rent on a secretary's wage. She would certainly lose her position on the Harpies – considering all the scandal, and now this. She was just terrible publicity for the team, not to mention the rule concerning physical qualifications. Lily wasn't stupid: Quidditch was a dangerous game.

Oddly enough it didn't strike her as particularly special or tragic that her sports career was virtually ended. She'd always seemed to be on the brink of such a thing; maybe once she'd loved Quidditch more than anything, but now she wasn't so sure.

"_James_!" she hissed, treading a bit further into the apartment. His bedroom door was closed. Her heart beat wildly and she moved to push it open. "James -"

"Lily," he said in utter surprise. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, dressed in an old white T-shirt and boxer shorts. "I _thought_ I heard a noise."

"Your front door was open," she said breathlessly, lowering her wand. "I – was worried."

The sick part was, she actually felt embarrassed. Shy, even. For what? Caring about the man who'd apparently impregnated her?

"It's so late," he said, getting up. He took the wand from her hand and muttered, "_Knox_," so that they were entwined in the dark. James's hand smoothed her hair and he pressed his lips gently to her cheek. "What are you doing here?"

She didn't answer. "Did I wake you?"

He pulled away to look at her. "No. I wasn't sleeping."

His eyes shone darkly in the moonlight that was streaming in from the open window. She could hardly hold back from kissing him then, from saying _I'm lonely and I'm lost and I need you, James, please…_

"Come here." He stepped back and sat on his bed, patting the place beside him. Tentatively Lily slipped of her shoes and cloak and joined him there, content to relax in his embrace.

She uttered a shuddering sigh. "So…"

"So."

James looked rather nervous as he squeezed her shoulders warmly. "I've been giving this some thought," he said, without having to explain what _this_ was. Her heart leapt to her throat.

"You have?"

He nodded, looking at her with bemused eyes. "I… want to be here for you. I think I want to establish that, because…" he swallowed "- because I love you, and I'll love our child, Lily, even if, erm, we're not ready to be parents yet."

He said this all rather quickly, then added, "I'm still sort of disbelieving."

"Yeah. Me, too." Lily looked at her feet, then back up at him. "I… am glad you want to help. But James… I know this isn't the way you planned your life going. So I would blame you if…"

"Sometimes life doesn't go according to plan," James said quietly. He took her fingers and squeezed them gently. "Listen. I know this may not be the best idea, but I've thought it over, and I just want to know what you think. How would you, erm, well, would you be inclined toward, erm, getting married?"

Lily was quiet for a long time. She didn't feel any of the elation or excitement that she'd imagined would accompany being proposed to. Now that it was happening, it felt like she knew it was coming, the natural next step in their relationship. All she felt was – more tense, and more confused, and more disbelieving.

"I knew it was stupid," he said to her silence, slightly deflated. She bit her lip and looked at him.

"I… would love to marry you, James," she said after a moment. "Proud to marry you, even. But I need you tell me that's really what you want, that you aren't just – doing this out of some ethical obligation…"

He looked down. "I would really like to," he said slowly. "Get married, I mean."

"Then… yes."

James gave her a weak smile and said, "That's it, then? It feels like we should've spent more time talking it over."

Lily's heart skipped a beat and she leaned over to press a kiss against his temple. She slid his glasses off to kiss him again, properly this time. When they pulled apart, she said slowly, "Well, I guess when you know, you know."

He slipped something onto her finger. It was the gold band he'd always worn on his little finger. "It's all I have right now," he whispered. "I hope it's okay."

She looked down at the shining circlet on her fourth finger. It was engraved with the tiny words: _Class of 1978_. "It's more than okay," she whispered back hoarsely."

"One more thing," he said in a strange voice, making her raise her head to look at him. "You're not playing tomorrow, right? Arquette's got a reserve girl?"

She skimmed her gaze over his concerned expression, his tired body, the semi-circles under his eyes, the way he looked so vulnerable without his glasses. She smoothed a hand over his wild hair, hoping against hope that after tomorrow, their slates would be clean. That he could rest. And they could love each other in peace.

"Right," she said in the same strange tone.

--

The morning of the match opened with tension stirred in the air. Wind howled and rattled the panes of James's windows as the two people in bed emitted simultaneous sighs and shifted on the mattress.

"_James_," Lily mumbled into her pillow, reaching her right hand to stiffly rub his shoulder. "It's time to get up."

He made a noise of complaint and turned over, snugly hugging her waist. He didn't say anything.

"James Potter," she groaned, pushing him off and sitting up. "Come on, you don't want Rusty to kick your ass."

"Rusty!" James sat straight up, his eyes wide and staring at Lily. "Today's the League Cup!"

"Nice call," she said dryly. His wire-framed glasses hung between her fingers. "Here."

He accepted them, taking a moment to appreciate the gold band that glinted on her hand. He kissed her cheek quickly. "Six hours 'til game time. Want to get some coffee before I go to prep?"

Lily shook her head. "Sorry. I have plans." _And I'm not supposed to have caffeine._

He shrugged, looking slightly disappointed. Lily watched her boyfriend –no, _fiancé_, she remembered with a jolt – roll out of bed and tug on a pair of jeans. It took her a moment to gather motivation to get up herself.

"Lil, am I getting fat?" he asked idly, tugging on the zip of his jeans. He looked at her sidelong.

She blinked back at him. "Babe, don't even _talk_ to me about getting fat."

He paled. "Right, right, sorry."

After they both freshened up, Lily pressed her hand against the cold glass square of a window and listened to the ominous wind. I t sounded like a pack of wolves, or a tribe of warring savages, many screams overlapping each other and hurling themselves at the apartment. She shuddered.

"You're coming to the stadium to watch, right?" James asked, coming up behind her. He leaned his chin affably on her shoulder, apparently unperturbed by the foreboding weather. "I know you wanted to play."

"I'll be there," she replied immediately, turning to give him a light kiss. "It'll really be okay. _I'll_ be okay."

James looked at her for one moment, and all guards were down. He was beseeching, searching, completely love-burdened and vulnerable. She found she could not look at him.

"Then I'll see you soon," he said, looking away, and Lily leaned against the windowsill and watched him go.

No sooner than the door clicked shut behind him did she hear shuffling from the kitchen. "Come out, Sirius," she called, all brightness gone from her voice.

The man came into the room looking rather ashamed of himself – or rather, ashamed of James, as he observed the conspicuous lack of disarray in the bed sheets.

"You know, just because you're knocked up doesn't mean you're not totally do-able," he commented. Lily grimaced.

"Thanks, Sirius."

"Still awkward?"

"Just a little."

"Ah."

"But I'm not officially pregnant, you know. There's still the test, which I assumed you're taking me to, since my appointment's in about half an hour." She looked at him hopefully.

He shrugged. "You had two at-home tests, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but there's still about a one in one hundred chance it's wrong, right?" Her voice was scratchy and unsure. He shook his head.

"Somehow I don't think one in one hundred's going to happen, darling."

Lily sighed and turned back to the window, raking her fingers through her thick, tangled hair. "I'm going to ignore that and ask you why, how, and when you got into James's apartment."

"_I'm_ going to ignore that and ask _why, how,_ and _when_ you began sneaking into other people's apartments in the dead of night," Sirius shot back, a smug half-smile creeping onto his face

Lily gaped. "_You_ left the door open! Did James know you were here?"

"Naturally," Sirius said, taking her hand and tugging her away from her reflection. "I was going to keep him company since he couldn't sleep, but obviously he found a better alternative. But nevermind that. Let's get you to your appointment."

For a minute, she didn't know what to say.

"Thank you would suffice," he told her, squeezing her fingers. And that was when she remembered why they were friends in the first place.

Outside, the wind blew on.


	38. Paradox

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 38: Paradox

An hour passes excruciatingly slowly when you're waiting for the biggest news of your life.

For Lily, who was never the most patient woman on earth, hearing from a Healer that she was, indeed, going to be a mother was something she needed, something to seal the fate she knew in her bones to be ahead of her.

Just the _wait_ was killing her.

"Can't they process that damn blood any faster?" Lily grumbled as she sat, swinging her feet, on a paper-covered table. The hospital gown she was wearing itched around the collar and was too short – Sirius had snapped at the Healer for ogling her legs.

"I'm sure it'll be done soon," her friend now said, patting her knee in a manner so patronizing she flicked him in the forehead. He crinkled his nose. "Just being supportive, Lily, seeing as your lover boy didn't see fit to be here with you."

She sighed heavily and wiggled her toes to distract herself. "Doesn't matter now. We all know what the results will be."

"Then why the impatience? No, don't answer that," Sirius added quickly, holding up a hand. "Look, I'm not blind, I can see the ring on your hand. I know you're protective of him."

Lily blushed slightly, though she couldn't say why. "It's hasty, I know."

Sirius shrugged and swept his hair from his eyes. "Hasty? You and James? No."

"No need for sarcasm." Lily sighed again and lifted her gaze to the ceiling. "I know James and I don't have… the healthiest relationship. I mean, I'm not stupid. Just look at the way we got together."

"I had a front row seat, love."

"Yeah, I…" she hesitated. "Again, I know. Sirius, is it ever, y'know, _not_ going to be weird between us?"

He shrugged, looking thoughtful. "Honestly, Lily, though I think I ought to be the least of your worries, how _could_ things not be weird? Consider our history – you dated my best friend and dumped him, we had an on-and-off relationship until I vanished off the hemisphere, then I came back, we're in an open relationship, and just when things were getting serious I dumped you so you could sex up James again."

Lily was stunned. "Wow, when you put it like that," she stammered.

"Exactly." Sirius half-smiled. "I guess that whole time there wasn't a lot of room for being normal friends."

She looked at the floor.

"I genuinely liked you, you know," he added quietly. His voice reverberated throughout the small, unfriendly office. She shifted in her paper gown.

"Why would you tell me that? I know. I liked you, too," Lily said.

"I'm part of a secret underground organization," Sirius said suddenly. An unreadable expression crossed his face and she could see him pale. "What I mean to say is – well -"

"What?" she pressed, brow furrowed. A secret organization? What was he joking about?

"Er, I…"

"Missus Evans?" The Healer came through the door then, effectively silencing Sirius, and Lily didn't even bother to correct the man on her title. After all, what was he to think? She was pregnant and wearing a ring. Go figure.

"So when's it due?" she asked quickly, glancing at Sirius. He was gripping the edge of his seat tightly.

The Healer looked at Sirius nervously. "Are you the father?"

"Yes, I bloody well am," Sirius answered irritably. "Just tell us."

"Actually, there's been some trouble with your blood work," the Healer said. "We'll have to draw another sample and get back to you in about two hours."

Lily flushed. "Sirius, what time is it?"

"Nine."

"Five hours 'til game time." She bit her lip. She had to make a decision, but she couldn't do it _now_… "Can you owl me, sir?"

"Indeed," said the Healer. He looked slightly starstruck as he pulled a quill from his pocket. "I'll just have a note sent… and could you possibly sign this for my daughter? She's nine, a big fan…"

"You know me, then," Lily murmured. "Oh, thank Merlin for doctor-patient confidentiality…"

--

"Where's Lily?"

"Going to be a bit late today…"

--

"Great. We have two hours to burn," Lily said angrily, kicking at a piece of string in front of St. Mungo's. She felt, as she so often did lately, faint headed, and stilled for a moment to recollect herself. "God, I really just want this over with."

"If you can't think of anything to do, we can buy baby supplies," offered Sirius, though he looked as if he was growing impatient with this as well. "Or we could plan your wedding, or – oh, braid each other's hair and paint our toenails!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Your sarcasm is _so_ not helpful now, Sirius Black."

"Hello? Lily? Normal women would be doing those things, not obsessing over getting confirmation that they did, indeed, get knocked up by their f--- buddy."

She flinched. He stared at her. "Why would you say that?" she asked softly after a moment.

Sirius relaxed. "I'm sorry," he said equally softly. A pause. "I'm just concerned."

She waited.

"You're too worried about this. I know you're thinking about the match."

"You suddenly know me that well, do you?"

"Remus was upset, too," he said, ignoring her question. "He knows where this is going, I think. It's not going to be pretty, Lily."

"It's going to be fine," she replied shortly.

Sirius didn't say anything. He looked at the ugly mannequin in the dusty shop window that served as the entrance to Mungo's.

"I could've sworn that thing winked at me once," Lily told him, sticking her hands in her pockets and strolling away. As expected, he trailed after her, scratching the back of his neck and looking sheepish.

"I… meant it, about looking for baby things," he said after a while. She glanced back, mildly surprised. "I guess I'm a little more excited about the little bugger than you or James."

"D'you want to be godfather?" she asked suddenly, stopping. He followed suit, looking dumbfounded.

"Would I – would I _like_ to-?" Sirius spluttered, his hair falling in his eyes. "I would be absolutely _honored_, Lil, I…"

"Okay," she said, unable to keep a smile from crossing her face. She could almost get into the swing of things, with Sirius's enthusiasm as contagious as it was. "That's that, then."

--

"Where's James?"

"Praying for a miracle."

"Shut up."

--

"Do you think green has advanced to be a unisex color?" Sirius asked thoughtfully, holding up a pair of booties. Lily took them from his hand.

"No, it's still a boy's color. And Sirius, these are ten Galleons… you know money's tight as soon as I lose my job…"

He looked around the small store, which was packed with women in various stages of pregnancy or lugging around small children. It was bright and colorful and smelled of sixteen-Sickles-a-pound baby powder, but for some reason _Sirius Black_, cool, calm, collected, and not entirely the fatherly type seemed far more at ease there than she.

"You know I could always help you out for now," he said quietly, taking the booties back. "They're so – and I never thought I'd say this – _cute_. Think your little man would like green?"

"You don't know if it's a boy, and I certainly will _not_ let you loan me money," Lily said firmly. She patted his shoulder. "It's okay. It really is."

"In any case, James is anything but poor," he reminded her. She ignored him.

It always came back to this. Depending on someone, depending on James, to take care of her. But what if things didn't go according to plan? What if James died or dumped her or lost all his money and his job in an unfortunate economic blunder? Then they were both totally screwed.

Even worse, Sirius had in the last hour found it his duty to try and slip money to her. He'd taken at least three different approaches and was simply not backing down, even though she'd said again and again she didn't need it.

She would simply have to scale back luxuries, that was all.

"Can we leave?" she asked impatiently, hopping from foot to foot. "You know all this is too expensive."

Sirius shrugged and poked a stack of bedding sets. It tilted precariously.

"_Sirius_. What if someone recognizes me?"

He sighed and turned to her, dropping an arm about her shoulders. "Fine. Let's go," he said, "before you somehow get found out."

They exited the store, and he squeezed her shoulders gently before pulling away.

"I love how your life is all about anonymity," he told her. "Especially since you sort of chose to be a celebrity."

Lily shrugged and combed her fingers through her hair. "Honestly, I don't feel that famous. I'm just tired of the media being all over my rear."

Sirius stuck his hands in his pockets and began to whistle. It was a familiar tune, one she couldn't place.

"Hey, erm…" she hesitated. "Sirius…what you said earlier, back in the hospital…"

He looked up. A strange expression shifted in his eyes. "Yeah?"

"Well… I guess – what was that all about?"

"Oh," Sirius said. "The, erm, the secret organization thing."

Lily nodded. He took her elbow and drew her close, looking around. The alley was somewhat crowded, people laughing and chattering and going about their business as students milled about for school supplies. The sight of Hogwarts robes brought back many memories for Lily.

Sirius, apparently deeming the situation safe, cast a quick Muffliato charm. "_It's called the Order of the Phoenix_," he said in her ear. She stiffened. "We're working against the Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort."

She turned her head quickly to look into his eyes. He was completely serious. "Who's _we_?"

"I can't tell you everyone, naturally," he replied, "But it's headed by Dumbledore."

She could hardly contain her surprise. A secret, rebellious group fighting Voldemort? It seemed so far-fetched. And yet, if _Dumbledore_ was heading it, then it would surely hold some merit…wouldn't it?

"Why are you telling me this, Sirius?" she asked after a moment. "Wouldn't that be against the rules?"

"Most definitely," he said, not looking sheepish or ashamed like he probably should. A small grin crept over his lips. "But I trust you. And you should know. You were supposed to be offered a spot. With us."

Lily gaped. "What?"

"Yes, erm…" Sirius looked vaguely shifty now, and she realized that he was probably breaking many rules and many codes of trust. Hopefully he wouldn't suffer ramifications just for _her_ sake. But honestly! What was he on about? "In fact, when I came back from Africa, we were doing a bit of a character check on you."

"I didn't pass?" she asked suddenly, feeling disappointed.

"You passed with flying colors," he told her firmly. "You're an ideal candidate, actually. But I've promised some people not to invite you in, at least not until it's really necessary."

If Lily had asked, and she didn't think to, Sirius would've told her it was really necessary a long time ago. But promises were promises. He couldn't help it.

On the other hand, she looked as if she'd figured everything out. "You were conducting the check," she said.

After a moment's trepidation, he nodded.

"And Africa – was that really for your book, or -"

"Diplomacy, mostly. I'm a terrible writer."

She nodded, her head spinning.

An owl then landed on Sirius's shoulder, startling him so badly that he jumped, and Lily could feel the Muffliato charm fall. The owl clung tightly to Sirius (who let out a squeak of pain) and hooted, extending one leg to Lily.

She accepted the envelope tied to said leg and quickly flicked it open. The owl took off.

Her face went blank. "Well, what's it say?" Sirius prompted.

After a moment she said, "I guess one in one hundred can happen, after all."


	39. The Outcome

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 39: The Outcome

The League Cup, as it turned out, would make or break James's career. He was already beginning to sweat as he paced anxiously in the locker room. His team was eeriely quiet, owing to the fact that they'd hardly felt a "team" sentiment lately, or for most of the season for that matter.

The affair scandal had blown everything out of the water. He was on a new team, a new year, a new match, and this was the only way to validate himself. Everyone in that room knew James Potter the athlete simply couldn't afford a poor performance.

Except it was nearly impossible for him to concentrate on _this_, when he was still constantly thinking about Lily. It must've been tearing her apart not to be playing in the game. Sooner or later the news would break the surface. James Potter the person would be ruined. Lily Evans the person _and_Lily Evans the athlete would be completely destroyed. How could he even think about something as meaningless, then, as a Quidditch game?

Someone clapped him on the shoulder - Smith - and said, "Let's get this on for Montrose, boys."

"Yes, sir!" the others shouted, James included. He pasted on an expression of enthusiasm (it felt so fake, lying there across his lips when he really wanted to go home and just hold Lily) and gave the captain a cocky two-finger salute.

"Good to see you back," Smith said, raising one eyebrow.

"Feels good to be back," said James, but he was lying. He knew, and everyone else knew, that the grinning, joking, sharp-tongued side of him had all but withered away. It would _not_ be back.

He pulled his hood over his hair, sucking in a few deep breaths, and seized his broom in one hand. Outside the locker room came the faint rumbling of the crowd.

"Let's get this over with," he murmured.

They exited onto the pitch.

The crowd roared with excitement, and for one brief second, James was lost in the blur of sound and people on their feet in black and white, and he felt an immense surge of pride for his team; he sucked in his breath and puffed out his chest, grinning and pumping his fist. He gave someone a thumbs-up; they screamed and fell over.

He'd forgotten what it was like to be a star!

"_The Montrose Magpies - that's Longhurst on Keeper, number 19; Potter number eight; Smith number 22; Johnson on three; Whitmen is 41; Chockabee number seven - unspoken rivalry between him and Potter, hope it doesn't affect their game - and Lao is Seeker, number 30."_

_"You know, the Magpies have been _undefeated_ this year -"_ Onlookers screamed, a mix of cheers and boos - "_so let's welcome the only competition they've seem to got, inspiration to women everywhere, _the Holyhead Harpies!"

A blur of green exploded from the other side of the pitch. James, hovering on his broom, saw the Harpies had gone for the more sensational entrance - they flew a lap around the field, arms out to touch the hands of stretching and shouting fans.

"_And on their lineup we've got McGovern, number 29; Rachtman is number 17, she's been having a great season, folks; Arquette on number nine; Brownmiller, 23; McNeil, number four; Kirkus, 14; and last but certainly not least, Holyhead's favorite success story, _Lily Evans,_ number 12!"_

James froze and looked up, his blood pounding in his ears. He'd heard wrong. Surely he'd heard wrong. Lily had sworn to him she wasn't playing, they'd _gotten a backup_ -

But no. She was definitely there. Things had gone quiet. People were looking at him, Smith was looking at him - James had disclosed, in private, that Lily wouldn't play - and there Lily was, fifty feet in the air above him, looking at him.

In that brief moment of inaction he admired how the people sitting nearest her hung over the railing, reached their hands out, straining to touch her fingers or the twigs of her broom, like creatures magnetized to her presence.

"_Looks like Potter is flying over for a chat with Evans... bit of a pre-match pep talk, perhaps. Certainly unprecedented, looks like the refs aren't very happy with the delay at all..._

James was moving in a dream. The numbness from head to toe, the blurs in his eyes as if he wasn't wearing glasses, the way his mouth gaped but no sound would come out, it all spoke of a hundred muted nightmares he'd had before, except he couldn't wake himself up from this. She was staring straight at him with those almond eyes and saying something that never reached his ears.

_"Whoa! There's been some manner of altercation! Potter's steadying his broom; better get some refs over there -"_

"Shut up!" he screamed at the announcer's box, as if they could hear him over the deafening murmur of a confused crowd. Lily had shoved him - _shoved_ him - as he tried to grab her broom. He turned back to her. "What the hell's your _problem?_" he yelled. "What are you _doing_ here?"

"I'm playing!" she yelled back. "Do you really think I'd just give this up?"

"Are you f---ing crazy? What about the _you-know-what?_"

"_We'll talk about it later!"_ she snapped, looking more concerned than angry. "James, you're holding up the game! Just trust me, alright?"

He couldn't believe his ears. She was mad, she was bloody mad, completely off her rocker. Trust her? When she was carrying his child, his son or daughter, a hundred feet above the ground at high speeds with Bludgers flying in all directions? _Trust_ her?

He felt like he might vomit, but Lily was looking at him with an unfamiliar expression. The announcers were still discussing the exchange amongst themselves. A whistle was blowing.

"Come on, we've got to go," Lily urged. "We can talk later, I swear." She watched him for a second longer, then flew off to the center of the pitch, apparently realizing he wasn't coming.

"_Potter is not moving - an unusual event indeed, but not completely unprecedented; many players, even professionals, can have panic attacks before large matches -"_

_"While we're waiting, make sure to pay a visit to our concessions on the top level. Drinks, food, and souvenirs, and of course a bettor's stand for those of you who feel like it's your lucky day -"_

People were shouting now.

James didn't move.

He stared at his hands.

They were shaking.

"Everything alright?" a referee asked gruffly, maneuvering his broom alongside James's. "We've got a match to play, Potter."

James knew what the ref was thinking. _You celebrity athletes, thinking you can do anything you want. This is a sports stadium, not a drama show._

He said, "No, not everything's alright."

It was like the world had slowed down. Time trickled by like thick mud. He saw each individual expression of surprise and irritation on the ref's face.

He spoke.

Holy _shit_, what was he doing?!

By the time the panic set in it was too late, way too late. He didn't know what to do - scream and wave his arms, tell the ref to stop, or sit and pretend he wanted to do this, tell himself it would be okay. All he knew was that he, James Potter, had essentially just committed suicide.

The wind shook him back into a state of awareness - in the few seconds it felt like he'd been frozen, the referee had already processed what he'd said and gone to higher officials. They were discussing it now in a series of frowns and nods across from him in a private box seat. The ref's broom still hung over his shoulder.

They pointed.

To Lily.

James panicked.

She was looking between him and the officials, and it was as if he was watching all the pieces fall into place. She realized. She blanched. She betrayed, horrifying, disgusted, embarrassed...oh, God, he could think of a thousand horrid adjectives!

"_It seems there's been a bit of a regulation breach,"_an announcer was saying disappointedly into the loudspeaker. Of course he was disappointed. This was the commentary of a lifetime. The crowd was instantly scandalized. This was the _game_ of a lifetime as far as sporting events went for wizards in the U.K.

James was unaware he was descending slowly until his feet touched the grass. He staggered as another gust of wind hit him, he felt so light-headed and dizzy.

And _dizzy_... stress could do so much to the human body...

_"Unfortunately, the British and Irish League is being forced to delay this game while players are under scrutiny,"_ an official was saying harshly into the loudspeaker he'd commandeered. "_Refunds are available at the ticket gate. A rescheduled game will be announced when a new date is agreed upon."_

Murmurs ran through the crowd, veins of anger and downcast spirit. James walked off the pitch, shouts of his teammates - and of, he realized, Lily - lost to his ears as they became muddled in all the white noise. He yanked open the door to the locker room and practically fell inside, gripping the door handle for support.

"_There has been an update,"_ said the loudspeaker after a long pause. It echoed palely into the locker room as James willed himself not to listen.

Wake up.

Wake up.

"_As according to B.I.L. regulations, at this time the Holyhead Harpies are considered under official forfeit. Montrose will, I repeat, _will_ be advancing to World playoffs."_

Tickets refundable at the gate, the announcer reminded as an afterthought.

What had he just done?

So simple, that a few words could knock him on his ass. Ironic, that those words came out of his own mouth.

"I have it on good authority," he had said, "that one of the Harpies players is pregnant."

But that hadn't been enough, had it?

"Who?" the referee had asked, startled. Naturally. The implications were huge.

"Lily Evans."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Please don't kill James. Or me, for that matter. (To be fair, James has been a bit of an asshole from the beginning of the story. I guess Lily's kind of into that.)

Please review? -insert tentative smile here-


	40. Whatever It Is

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 40: Whatever It Is

Lily burst into the locker room - the _men's_ locker room, to clarify - at exactly the same time the entire Montrose team did, startling James and engulfing the room in a terrible clamor.

Just minutes ago the game had been forfeited to Montrose on account of a "regulation breach" James himself had reported, but contrary to what one might believe, his teammates were _furious_, yelling upon seeing him.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking?!"

"You just rained off the _League Cup_, you -"

"- don't even _know_ how this'll come back to bite us -"

And then Lily shoved past them with her good hand and stood in front of James. He froze, sitting on a wooden bench with his palms facing the ceiling and his face turned upward, looking at her with pale shock.

The room fell silent.

"Lily -" he tried to say, but she scoffed.

"I can't believe this, James," she said, her tone doused with anger. Her hands shook. "Do you realize my career's _over_? One _bloody_ game, that's all I needed, and that's all my _team_ needed, _one game!_"

His eyes flickered and he let out an incredulous _woosh_ of breath. "Wow," he said. "Just...wow."

"_What were you thinking?_" she demanded shrilly.

"What were _you_ thinking?" he challenged, standing up suddenly. His broom clattered carelessly to the ground, but strangely no one in the room cared about this usually unacceptable abuse. "You're a _liability_, Lily! You're not by yourself anymore, you have _someone else's life in your hands -_"

"I'm not pregnant, you _dolt_!" she shouted, evoking a collective intake of breath behind her. "There was a bloody _notification_ sent to your bloody _apartment_ and I _told_ you out there we would talk about it!"

James faltered. "You - what?"

Lily growled angrily, very uncharacteristic for her, and took a few steps back. "You _really_ think I would've been out there if I _was_ pregnant?" she accused of him angrily. "I'm not an idiot, okay, Quidditch isn't _that_ important to me -"

"You didn't tell me," he said weakly.

"Erm, yes. I did."

"I didn't get a 'notification', Lily - would it have been to hard to say it to my face? 'Gee James, no need to worry, I'm _not_ carrying your child after all'?"

"Shut _up_!" she snapped, trembling. "You know what? You just completely f---ed my team, and f---ed my _career_, so honestly, I don't want to hear your stupid excuses."

He took a step forward; a muscle in his jaw was twitching, and he ground out these words: "I was just doing what I thought was right."

"Well, you thought wrong," Lily said carelessly. "I'm fed up with this, James, I'm tired of being the victim of your melodrama."

"Uh-huh," he said, tense.

She stared at him for a moment then, apparently disgusted by what she saw, turned on her heel and left. The Magpies parted to let her through, all speechless at what they'd just witnessed.

James seemed to struggle for a minute as they watched, battling down anger. "What are you looking at?" he snapped.

His teammates turned away.

--

"_What do you mean,_ you can't reschedule the game?"

"Forfeits cannot be revoked, Miss Evans," said the fat official condescendingly. He had a sneer beneath his large walrus moustache, and he kept looking at his fellow officials standing around him as if to see whether they were as amused by this appeal as he.

Lily gritted her teeth and looked around the private box. They were all older men, pampered, lofty, skeptical. "But I'm _not_ pregnant," she repeated. "Therefore the forfeit was made under false circumstances."

"Nevertheless," said the walrus, "you and your team failed to inform the league of your _potential_ condition, and under magical contract you are required to submit a _complete_ medical history prior to every game."

"I did," she said tonelessly.

"Apparently not," he said, accepting a manila file from someone at his side. He flipped it open. "Did you or did you not submit to two blood tests at a clinic, at 8 o' clock this morning?"

Lily swore.

"Ah," said the walrus, nodding in the manner of _I saw right through you all along. _"You may go."

--

"Got it."

"Got what, Sirius?"

"Why James didn't get his notification, like the clinic was supposed to send."

Lily was curled up on her sofa, hugging a pillow tightly, trying to ignore the urge to cry. Sirius was sitting cross-legged on her coffee table, looking at her. He'd just walked in, unannounced as usual.

He held up a bright yellow slip between two fingers. "It's right here."

"What the -" she reached for it, but he held it out of her grasp, shaking his head. "How the hell did you -"

"They sent it to _me_," he said. "Remember? That Healer asked if I was the father and I said -"

"Yes," she whispered, incredulous. It all made sense now. The note must've gone to Sirius's instead of James's, all thanks to a doctor's misunderstanding - "_Shit!_"

"My feelings exactly," he said warily, leaning back. He laid the note on the table beside him. "Are you going to be okay?"

She actually thought about it - then realized, no, she wasn't going to be okay. Her career was over - she'd been immediately terminated, of course, seeing what a liability she was in a cutthroat profession like Quidditch. But that wasn't it -

"You've been lying to me all this time about Africa," she said hoarsely. Her heart beat sickeningly.

"I know," he responded quietly, looking at her with calm grey eyes. "That's not what you're upset about."

"I completely bawled out James -"

He waited.

"- and I'm not having a baby, Sirius."

There. It was out. That was it. She'd actually begun to look foward to - to quitting Quidditch and sitting at home, nursing her child; listening to his first words; sitting him on the toy broom Sirius had promised; and now she'd get none of that.

None.

She wouldn't hold her child. She wouldn't send him off to Hogwarts. She wouldn't watch him grow up to annoy the hell out of his rogueish father and worship his nomadic godfather.

Because, as it turned out, fate liked to screw with her. She had no job, no child, and now, it seemed, no James.

With a start she realized she was still wearing his ring. She pulled it off and stuck it in her pocket while Sirius watched sympathetically. Tears finally came hotly to her eyes.

"I don't get it," she muttered, crushing the pillow to her chest and curling her bare toes against the couch. "I love him. He loves me. So why can't we be like normal people and just _love_ -" she suddenly threw the pillow with all her might, knocking a glass of water to the ground with a shatter "-each other?!"

"_Reparo,"_ Sirius murmured, and the glass sprang back together. He moved foward to grasp Lily's arm. "Lily. Lily." He kissed her forehead. "You _do_ love each other. Okay? Sometimes people who love each other hurt each other, even if they don't mean to.

"No," she said hoarsely. She pressed her tear-stained face into his collarbone. He sighed and pushed her away to look at her.

"_Yes_, they do - look at me. _I've_ hurt you, and I love you." He leaned forward again, to kiss her jaw -

"Don't," she said in confusion. He paused, releasing her arms.

"I - I'm sorry," he said, looking down. His ears were pink. "I was just..."

She looked down too. "You..."

"You shouldn't even be talking to me, I'm the last bloke you want to be talking to..." Sirius held his breath as she tried to swallow his words, blinking past tears. He sighed again and dug a crumpled hankerchief from his pocket. "Here," he said a bit brusquely, handing it to her. "Stop crying. Splash some cold water on your face."

She wiped her eyes obediently. "Thank you -" she managed a miserable laugh. "But then what am I supposed to do?"

He gave her an uncomfortable smile. "Since when do you need my advice? You decide the right thing to do. And whatever it is, even - even if it hurts someone. Do it."

--

Every person carries around some small regret, whether it is the tatto gotten on a whim after a night of reckless partying - or the lie told to an unsuspecting parent before nearly getting caught in the act - but there is a certain line to draw, a line between small, manageable regrets and the important ones that will never go away.

James was under the impression that his regret for his actions - not just that day but in the days leading up to it - would never go away. It weighed heavily on him - the frustration and disgust in Lily's eyes as she said, _I'm fed up with this._

She had every right to be.

_I'm tired of being the victim._

He'd _made_ her the victim.

"I'm sure that's not true," Peter said as James voiced these thoughts. This, too, was bothering him - _Sirius_ was his designated confidant, and yet Sirius had taken Lily's side. This, James knew, merely exacerbated the fact that _he was in the wrong._

"She hates me," he said, watching for Peter's reaction. It wasn't what he was looking for - it wasn't Sirius. Or perhaps it was _exactly_ Sirius, and James had simply changed his mind about what he wanted.

What he wanted was not to sit in this lonely apartment while hate mail piled up by door...what he wanted was Lily. Just Lily.

"We were going to be married," he tried again. He was numb. His hand shook, and so did the glass in it.

"She doesn't hate you," Peter said comfortingly. He mentioned nothing in regard to the marriage. "James, you have to talk to her."

"I can't." How could he? His heart was breaking.

"You have to," Peter repeated, shifting in his chair. "Look, Prongs, I won't pretend to be good at these pep talks, okay? I'm not. I don't want to say everything is going to turn out alright, because it might _not_."

James closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, and ducked down a last mouthful of whiskey. It burned all the way down and he squeezed his glass tightly with a grimace on his face. "Thanks for the motivation, Pete."

"But if it doesn't, it's because _you_ didn't do a thing to fix it."

Stubborn silence.

Peter reached forward and took the drink from him, rolling his eyes. "You screwed up, but she screwed up, too. Give yourself a fighting chance, mate."

James didn't listen, trying to recreate in his mind Lily's facial expression as she'd been yelling at him.

He felt like he would be sick.

He _would_ be sick, he realized, and he sprinted to the loo, barely having time to pull off his glasses before hurling in the toilet. He clung to the porcelain bowl desperately and croaked, "Wow... I am _not_ a drinker."

Peter appeared in the doorway, looking slightly disgusted. "That's for sure."

James gagged again, a warm acidic taste washing up in the back of his throat. He spit uselessly in the toilet and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "I can't -" he coughed "- believe she's not pregnant, Wormy."

His friend had the sympathy to kneel on the floor beside him, gently tugging the specs from his hand. "I know."

James's eyelashes were wet - his mouth tasted of sick. He hiccupped dangerously, though the worst was past, and leaned back. "This is quite possibly the worst day of my life," he said hoarsely.

"Listen, James - you can't let her get away," Peter said. He got up and extended a hand. "Come on."

"Can't."

"Don't f--- this one up, too," his friend said seriously. He pulled James to his feet.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well, there you have it... now you know why James was uninformed of Lily's, erm, non-condition. I think both characters got to tell their sides of the story fairly well, although since this chapter didn't have Remus in it I'm a bit sad. :p

Anyway, please review - tell me what you like or dislike, what could be improved in the future, etc. Please.


	41. The Interim

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 41: The Interim

Rosie's face was just as pale and tired as Lily's when she showed up at the restaurant; it was hardly easy to sit down, as the two Quidditch players - well, one Quidditch player and one ex-Quidditch player - had eyes following them everywhere.

"I'm terribly sorry about this, Lily-chan," said the captain, shaking her head back and forth. "I really did pull strings, you know, but after having the media breathing down our necks the people up at SiJohn are ticked."

"For Christ's sake, it's a _candy store_," Lily responded sarcastically, pushing down the memory of snapping at James for saying the very same thing so long ago. "We're not exactly their main product."

"They put your face on a lollipop," Rosie pointed out, sounding both amused and envious.

Lily actually laughed at this, momentarily forgetting that she had, in fact, had a horrible week. "Now I guess I'll never be on a Chocolate Frog card."

"Not unless you discover the thirteenth use for dragon's blood..."

"Drinks, ladies?" A waiter came by, looking quite eager, with his pen poised over his notepad.

"Strawberry milkshake!" Rosie said immediately, just as Lily said, "Lime margarita."

The waiter scribbled this down and looked inquisitively at Lily. "Virgin, I presume?"

She cocked an eyebrow. "Erm, no."

He blushed. "I meant for the drink."

Lily's mouth fell open a bit. The audacity... "That's what _I_ meant," she said coolly, and now the poor waiter looked terribly confused.

"But - I - very well," he blathered, probably wondering if all the pregnant-Lily-Evans gossip was just smoke or if she was a terrible mother. Evidently he decided not to ask, bustling away.

As soon as he departed Lily gave Rosie a skeptical look, sending the latter into a fit of laughter.

"Maybe you're famous enough for a Frog card yet!" the captain crowed, evoking a good-humored scowl from the redhead. "It's going to be a lot different without you on the team backing me up, though."

"It's been a good three years," Lily agreed. "Remember Cathy's first game? She just about pissed herself from fright..."

"Yeah, she wasn't on the reserve for too long, the darling," Rosie said affectionately. "A lot like you, lots of potential, but the difference is even the Cannons were willing to fork out a good sum for _you_."

Lily shrugged. The drinks arrived, and she quickly sipped her margarita - lots of lime, no alcohol. _Brilliant_, she thought, scowling.

"Figures," Rosie said with great amusement as she saw the expression on the other woman's face. "But forget about that - I'll never forget the day I heard you were recovering a second time from your injuries. I think we were almost all the way through the '79 season."

"Not exactly a pretty time in my career."

"No. But I knew it was the opportunity of a lifetime, Lily-chan - went straight up to the sponsor top dogs and said, 'We need that Chaser. There's no way we can't sign her.'"

Lily flushed. "Rosie, that's...sweet."

A smile in response.

"It's really been great, pursuing my sports career," she added thoughtfully. "Some of the best times of my life. I guess I just..." she trailed off.

"You just have to move on?" Rosie suggested, sipping her drink.

"Yeah."

There was a long, companionable silence. Neither woman paid any attention to the other diners watching them curiously, or the waiter who was eyeing them both hungrily, eager to leap up if their drinks needed refills, or if they proved ready to order...

"So, erm..." Lily fidgeted in her chair for a moment, then looked down. "Did you find a new Chaser, yet?"

"I've got someone in mind," Rosie admitted. "Girl from reserve, Gwenog Jones?"

"Ah, yeah, she was on the team at Hogwarts. Unlike me. Only - what, eighteen?"

"Seventeen," answered Rosie, "but very talented. Worth the trouble, if you ask me. It's only a matter of getting her signed."

Lily nodded.

"Now, can I ask you something?" her friend prompted, eliciting a reluctant nod. "What are you going to do with Potter?"

"I've got a vague idea," Lily admitted, "but I don't want to think about that today. Hey, waiter? Put some alcohol in this, would you, I'm not paying to drink sugar-water!"

--

Somewhere in London four friends were getting drunk off their arses. They stumbled out of a raucous pub, swaying and laughing.

Peter and Sirius were clutching each other, whole-heartedly belting out an Irish drinking song into the starry night. The melody was garbled and sounded reminiscent of two dogs howling in pain.

James was walking a precarious line, letting out a colorful stream of words as he tripped over nothing, clumsily regaining balance, and Remus, being the most sober of the group, tipped back an extra bottle in a vain attempt to make up the difference.

It was a little after midnight.

Then Sirius and Remus looked up to the black sky at the same moment, and both became very still; a strange, excited snarl tore from Sirius's mouth.

"Shrieking Shack," he said, digging his fingernails into Peter's arm.

James tilted dangerously in his spot and belched, looking at Remus. "Did you take your potion?"

Remus was trembling.

"How much time?" Peter asked, looking nearly as thrilled as Sirius.

"I'd say an hour," Remus croaked, a beer bottle still dangling in his hand.

A stir went through them, a ripple of anticipation. The moonlight illuminated the men's grinning faces.

--

_"D'you, erm, fancy going to Hogsmeade with me?" He fiddled with the hem of his cloak and looked at his feet. If Lily hadn't known better, she'd have said he was scared. "You know, walk around, maybe have a coffee -"_

_"I'd love to," she answered, and he looked up, apparently incredulous. As she watched, a grin spread across his face._

_"Well - great," he said, dropping the corner of his cloak and truly beaming. "Bully - glad we cleared that up, then."_

_She smiled. "Under one condition."_

_He nodded eagerly, then seemed to realize his aggressiveness and instead said coolly, "Oh, yeah. Erm - conditions. No big deal."_

_"Let me on the Quidditch team?"_

_He laughed and so did she, and although she hadn't quite meant it as a joke, she didn't mind. She was happy._

_"You know, James Potter," she said slyy, "I think you really will be the death of me."_

--

_"James, what are you doing?" Sirius had a mischievous grin on his face and a quill tucked behind his ear, but his bright expression faded as he looked down upon his best friend._

_James looked up, half a sugar mouse in his mouth and a Chocolate Frog on his palm. "Erm...it's not what it looks like."_

_Sirius shrieked. "Murder! Betrayal! _Betrayal!_What have you done?! Noooo!"_

_The hangings of Remus's bed screeched open. "What the ruddy hell?" Remus mumbled blearily. "It's three o' clock...why are the lights on..?"_

_"Oh, my God, please shut _up_," Peter groaned from his bed, not bothering to get up. Sirius was pointing a finger at James._

_"He...he ate one of my sugar mice!" Sirius accused, mouth agape._

_"Calm down, Padfoot," James tried to say, only evoking another cry of anguish._

_"_Traitor!_ You are no Marauder to me! What did you do with that poor Frog - oh, the _card_!"_

_James looked down at the Chocolate Frog card, which lay in his lap with sticky fingerprints all over. Remus sighed and rolled his eyes as Sirius picked up the card with shaking fingers and a dramatic gasp._

_"Come on, I'm sorry, Sirius," James said, though by the smirk on his face he was not sorry at all. "I really am - _caa!_"_

_Now Peter's curtain swept open. "Is there a bird in here?" he demanded._

_"_Caaa! Caacaa!_" James belched, a horrified expression on his face. Sirius dropped the Frog card and burst into mad laughter._

_"Hahaha!" he crowed - well, it was really James doing the crowing - and pulled a tiny blue pastille from his pocket. "Chimera Confects! You think I didn't notice you nicking my sweets at night?"_

_Remus groaned and flopped back onto his pillow, exasperated._

_"_Caa_ - fix -_caaa_ - it!" James demanded, red in the face._

_"No!" Sirius cheered. "That, my friends, is the handiwork on Sirius Phineas Black! Don't mess with him!" He began to bounce on his mattress. James threw a pillow at his head._

_"Great," said Peter. "We're never sleeping."_

_"Marauders forever, mate!" Sirius howled, falling on his bum and laughing hysterically. He held out a hand to high-five James, who looked skeptical._

_"_Caa_," he agreed finally. "I - _caa_ - hate you."_

--

Sometime the next morning, Lily woke up to a bit of a hangover, a well-deserved smile, and the feeling that everything would turn out alright.

--

Sometime later, James woke up to a _massive_ hangover, a forest stretching endlessly in every direction, and no idea what had happened the night before.

* * *

**Author's Note:** My apologies for the lateness. This chapter was entirely unplanned and I wrote it at the last minute. Please review - it's quick and easy and I love getting feedback.


	42. The End Apparent

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 42: The End Apparent

"Hi, has James Potter been by?" Lily asked quickly, checking her watch: two hours until he was due to leave. Two hours to find him.

"Do you have a visitor's pass?" the girl at the desk asked in a monotone voice, cracking her gum. The Auror department was quiet, almost noiseless except for the dulled murmurs of Aurors in their cramped cubicles and the rustle of parchment.

Lily tried not to roll her eyes. "Clara, for the love of God, I _work_ here. I'm in a bit of a hurry, though."

"Alright, alright," Clara mumbled defensively. She rifled through a stack of papers on her clipboard. After an excruciatingly long time (or so it seemed to Lily) she looked up. "Nope, no Potter here."

Lily sighed angrily and turned to go, tugging at a strand of her hair.

"Hey, wait."

"_What_?" she demanded, pivoting.

Clara blew a large, pink bubble. It popped. "Denise mentioned some Quidditch people were down in customs," she said slowly. "I think you could still catch them. Third floor."

Quidditch people had to mean someone who knew where James was. Oh, if only she hadn't gone out drinking with Rosie the night before...then she wouldn't have slept in, wouldn't be in this situation.

Lily thanked the secretary and practically tore her way through the Ministry to get to the third floor. She had to catch them. There was no way she'd let him go to Peru without saying goodbye...

She burst into the customs department, ignoring the pointed stares of clerks and waiting emigrants. She pushed her way to the front of one line, evoking angry murmurs. The clerk there blinked back at her, expressionless - was _everyone_ at the Ministry so calm and collected?

"Can I help you?" he asked, inclining his head. She gritted her teeth.

"Yeah," she forced out, "I need you to call someone on the PA for me."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," he said shortly, turning back to a very irritated-looking warlock who'd been waiting in line.

"_Seriously_?" Lily scoffed, taken aback. For a minute she looked around the crowded floor, seeing no sign of "Quidditch people" or, even, the wake of excitement that predictably came with them (except for her own).

After some time, she sank onto a rigid bench among some very suspicious-looking travellers (including one who was using half a hollowed-out watermelon as a hat) and sighed.

It was probably too late. He must've gone.

"You're Lily Evans," someone said to her. She nodded dumbly, not looking up. Whoever it was seemed disappointed with the less-than-enthusiastic response and drifted away.

Then an idea struck her. "_Sonorous_," she whispered, pointing her wand at her throat. There was immediately a swooping feeling in her stomach as her voice became magically magnified.

"_James Potter_?" she asked tentatively. A few people jumped and looked around. "_Are you there?_"

"Turn that damn thing off," said the person in the watermelon hat. Lily ignored this.

"_I...need to talk to you,_" she said, hoping beyond hope that he was actually somewhere in the room. "_Please_."

She removed the spell then, and she waited.

There was no response.

Activity in the customs department went on as usual.

And Lily didn't feel one bit disappointed, as she hadn't known what to expect anyway. For James to come running out of nowhere and proclaim his love for her? That was unlikely. For someone in security to roll their eyes and escort her out? Much more probable.

But it still hurt, knowing that she'd wasted such precious time.

Then her ears perked up.

"...bit reckless," someone was saying as they walked through the doors not far from where Lily was sitting. "Waiting until the last minute, like this. The team isn't entirely happy."

She knew that voice. It was unnaturally calm and even, and...

...the exact opposite of Rosie Arquette's.

"Thanks again, Rusty. I didn't intend to be late."

"Maybe you should avoid late night brawls in the future."

"Right."

Lily was very, very still. She couldn't have heard wrong. There, walking into the customs department with his Quidditch captain, was James. She could see the top of his head through the mass of people who were shifting noiselessly to get a better look, a black spike in a sea of colors. She stood.

He didn't look to either side as he followed Smith to the lines. People parted for them. A clench was in his jaw.

"James," she said in relief, moving forward as if in a dream. She pushed past people. "James!"

She saw him freeze in the center of the room and then turn, very slowly, while Smith watched him steadily. He found her in his vision and she was enraptured: Here he was, his hair a mess, his glasses slightly lopsided on his nose, a bit of stubble on his chin, and a fading black eye. All except the last were so perfectly _James_ (and even then the shiner was rather James, too.)

"Lily?" he said, eyes widening a fraction.

She quickly moved closer, until she was only a few feet away from him and looking at him without shame. "I...thought I'd missed you," she tried to explain.

He skittered backward then, looking confused and startled. "What are you doing here?"

"We really have to talk before you go," she said weakly, dipping her hand into her pocket and feeling his class ring there, smooth and cold and round. She moved her finger along the tiny engraved words.

_I guess when you know, you know._

_It's all I have right now. I hope it's okay._

He'd worn that ring for four years. He'd never thought about taking it off. And then, suddenly, he did - to give it to her.

And she wasn't even wearing it.

"I know," he said, glancing at Smith, who nodded wordlessly. "Can we step outside?"

"Yeah."

They moved silently for the door, leaving the whispering of the crowd behind them, and once they were along James looked as uncertain as she felt.

"Well," he said awkwardly.

"I..." she trailed off. "I - I'm sorry."

"For what?" he said, bemused.

"For - everything," she said incredulously. "For not telling you face-to-face that I wasn't pregnant. But...I was... I was scared. And honestly I sort of wanted to have a baby with you."

He was silent for a moment. "Why...would you be sorry for that?" he asked finally, very, very quietly.

She lowered her gaze. "Because it's not what you wanted. Because there were better ways to handle the situation, and instead I made us fight. And that's not what I wanted at all. I love you."

James looked relieved and saddened by this. "You don't want to do that," he admitted, looking at the ground, too. "I'm a dick, Lily; that's never going to change. Is that really what you want?"

"Well - yeah," she said.

He took a shuddering breath. "I..." His hand found hers, and he explored her palm tenderly, pressing his fingertips against her skin without saying a word.

She waited.

"I'm not...good at this," he eventually said. "Relationships. You know, you've seen me screw them up..."

She shrugged, though truthfully her heart was racing. He was not taking this in the direction she'd expected, and unpredictability was not comforting when it came to matters of the heart.

"Even though I don't want to lose you, I still sabotage myself," he continued hoarsely. "Even though I shouldn't, I still do stupid things like...fight with you when you've already got enough on your shoulders, or call out your team on a technicality for that matter... I've seen the Harpies, you would've kicked our ass..."

"It doesn't matter," she said dismissively. "They always have next year."

Her use of the word "they" did not go unnoticed. "I'm...so sorry," he said. "I can't make this right."

"You don't have to," Lily told him, trembling and squeezing his fingers. He didn't return the grip. "James, I - when I thought we were going to have a child, it made me happy, even if it took me awhile to get used to it. I still want that. I still want you."

James was incredulous. "You...do?" he asked very softly.

Her eyes fluttered closed momentarily in concentration. "Of course I do," she said firmly. "And - I'm not going to let this slip away -"

He was breathing hard, his eyes not on her but somewhere over her shoulder. She dared to slip one arm gently around his waist and looked up at him genuinely.

"Whatever has happened," she whispered, "whatever it is we've got against each other, it's forgotten. It's gone. When you come back, we'll start over. Without the lies and scandal and publicity."

His familiar hazel eyes, filled with an unfamiliar lament, locked onto her.

"Just say the word," she pleaded.

Then, slowly and gently, he reached over and pulled her arm away from him.

Something in her broke.

"I'm not coming back," he whispered hoarsely.

There was a too-long silence.

"What?" she said in disbelief.

"I'm staying in Peru," he told her. "I'm -" But he never said the words _I'm sorry_, because if he'd been truly sorry then he wouldn't have made the choice to begin with.

The worst part was she knew why. She'd known why, perhaps, all along, that there were simply causes more important than mending relationships and more important than Quidditch.

"You're just _leaving_," she said tonelessly.

He didn't respond.

"The first time in my life I care about something more than Quidditch," she said, with a sad smile, "it had to be you, didn't it?"

It had to be - how could anyone else have so wholly captured her heart?

"Once again," he said softly, sadly, brushing a strand of hair from her face, "I have to let you down."

She nodded mutely.

"I love you," he finally said, his voice thick and heavy. "So - so much. I'm sorry." He swallowed.

Lily remembered something and, pinching the bridge of her nose, tugged his ring from her pocket. "Here," she said, pressing it into his hand. A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it away, trying to smile but failing. "I - I guess we both lose."

"Good-bye, Lily," he said, eyelashes wet. "Maybe another day..."

--

_yesterday, sitting  
__with you, eating  
__grapefruit, a word i'd stuck  
__too hard or at the wrong angle squirted  
__tart into my eye_

_talk of love, yes, like that  
your bristles up, the hair on your neck  
stiff, sharp as your voice, what is it  
makes you take love so hard?_

"Just" - Judith Johnson Sherwin

* * *

**Author's Note:** My apologies for the imperfections of this chapter... I knew it'd been a little too long since the last update, and so I chose to spend less time editing and more time typing. But let me assure you, this is _not_ the end... (Reviews are, as always, much appreciated. They fuel me.)


	43. A Shattered Impasse

_wise men say  
it looks like rain today  
it crackled on the speakers  
and trickled down the sleepy subway trains  
for heavy eyes could hardly hold us  
aching legs that often told us  
it's all worth it_

We All Fall In Love Sometimes

Chapter 43: A Shattered Impasse

Something is odd, exquisite, silent, even desperate about stepping back and finally admitting that things will not work out.

People say it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, but anyone who has loved and lost will tell you that this is

"Bullshit," said Lily, as she kicked her wireless across the room. It skidded off the coffee table and into the corner, cracked and buzzing placidly.

Remus, who had just leapt out of the way, gave her with a startled look. "No need to get violent," he said reproachfully.

"But there _is_," she said, crossing her arms and not looking at him. Unfortunately, Sirius and Peter were there too, and it was very difficult to avoid all three gazes.

"Go to Peru," Remus said, evoking a scowl. "You have to -"

"I told him," Peter mumbled angrily, "I _told_ him not to go, but he didn't listen -"

Lily looked up at Sirius and didn't ask for his opinion. He already looked uncomfortable as it was. But as for she - she felt...numb. As if she could stay paralyzed in time, at this moment, and although she wouldn't be happy, at least she wouldn't be sad.

This was right. This was the way it was meant to be.

Perhaps after time, it would be better.

Then she heard Sirius's lips part, a soft, nearly inaudible sound, a whisper-thin intake of breath. And he said quietly, "This isn't what's supposed to happen."

The other three looked at him. "...what?" Lily breathed.

"Things don't end this way," he said in a strange tone she didn't recognize. "Where's the logic? You guys are in love; you were engaged. How come you didn't make it work?"

"We tried," she protested weakly. "_I_ tried."

"Did you?"

For a moment they were all still, and there was no sound except for the crackling of the damaged wireless. Then Lily said, "I don't need your criticism, Sirius."

Sirius's expression was blank and unmoved, but she saw something like hurt in his eyes and felt vaguely pleased.

"And you two," she added, turning on Remus and Peter. "I definitely don't need _your_ advice."

She didn't need _anyone's_ advice. This _was_ the way things were supposed to end. They just didn't understand that.

Maybe if she'd told him she loved him just one more time, or if she'd gone with him to Peru. Maybe if they hadn't had all this _history_, if they'd just been a man and a woman. James and Lily. Meeting for the first time - _then _things could've gone differently. But this was no time for maybes. The past was the past, the deed was done,

Meanwhile, the three friends James had left being to deal with his aftermath were looking at her with identical expressions of skepticism. She hated it.

"I'm just as much as fault as he is, you know," she said for reasons she couldn't explain.

"Yeah, you are," Sirius said angrily. His knuckles were white.

Her mouth pressed into a thin line.

Sirius just didn't know what to do, that was all.

Or so she told herself.

Still he looked at her with that odd, tense emotion on his face, the thin muscles in his jaw tightening, and she couldn't stand it. "I want to be alone," she said stiffly. Peter, then, nodded and stood, and she felt a rush of affection for him. For his obedience, rather. He moved forward to hug her and she felt instantly relaxed, no longer angry with any of them. They really _didn't_ know how to handle this, after all.

"See you soon, Lily," he said as they parted. She shrugged. She didn't need sympathy, after all - this was for the best.

Remus hugged her next, lingering a little too long.

_Yes_, Lily thought. _For the best_.

They left, and then she stared down at Sirius as he stared up at her from the sofa. "_I'm_ not leaving," he said flatly. "Not when you're in a mood to off yourself."

"I am not," she replied indignantly. "I'd just rather some time _alone_ so I can think."

"What's there to think about?" he asked, reproachful.

She really could not figure him out. "_Please_," she said.

He got up.

"He's an asshole," he said bluntly, his eyes sharp and hateful. "But he made you happy somehow. How could you do this to yourself?"

"He's your best friend," she responded, seemingly non-sequitur, a stab of anxiety in her chest. Sirius strode closer, with a furious set in his jaw.

"If I'd known he'd reduce you to a shell, I never would've given you up," he spat, towering over her.

He turned to go.

The door slammed behind him.

Lily was speechless.

However, she couldn't let him get to her - these were only the bitter, throwaway words of a concerned friend. From the beginning, Sirius had always been too entangled in James and Lily's romance...

But of course he had. He'd almost single-handedly arranged it, a fact he obviously regretted _only_ because that meant he'd arranged their heartbreak, too.

Right?

Lily's hands trembled as she stood in the middle of the room. It was cold and unfamiliar and lonely, and despite knowing this was how it had to be, how it had always had to be, she felt - emotionless, empty, trying desperately to stave off reality as long as possible. This was what it felt like to have a heart broken.

Why couldn't she summon up sadness, anger, _anything_? At least if she felt the pain now then she could get it out of her system and move on. And the truth was, she _hadn't_ wanted Sirius to leave. Or any of them. Lily wanted least of all to be left alone, standing shakily in an apartment that reminded her of James every time she turned.

She could do nothing. She'd always been doing something, fixing something, leaping before looking. And James - her throat constricted - had always sought the simplest solution, dropping everything to pursue whatever it was he wanted next.

It was all really shot to hell now. If this was really, truly over, there would be nothing to fix, nothing to pursue...

"And yet I _want_ to fix things," she said quietly aloud to herself. The silence hung stubbornly in the room, sending a chill up her skin.

If only. He could walk through that door, unannounced and out of breath and satchel still heavy over his shoulder, and he'd say something that made everything right.

And then, as if by an act of God, there was a knock at the door.

Lily froze.

And she thought about all the different possibilities, all the directions her life could take, and then she turned the doorknob before she could fool herself.

The door swung open and there was James, _unannounced_ and _out of breath_ and satchel _still heavy_ over his shoulder. His hair was a wet black spike and his face flushed, as if he'd run very far.

He said, "Did you mean it?"

Lily was shaking, standing there, her hand on the door handle, and for a moment her heart swooped and the spell was broken -

She let out her breath.

"Did you mean it," he repeated aggressively, dropping his satchel and stepping past the threshold, "when you said you still wanted me?"

"Yeah," she replied, stunned. She didn't move.

"Then," James pressed on, "did you mean it when you said we could start over?"

She swallowed. "You- you know I did."

She saw him fall apart then, completely vulnerable and there and _real_, the real James, and he kissed her, lips against lips, eyes squeezed shut, hand sliding up to the nape of her neck. Desperate.

And Lily leaned into it, kissing him back just as desperately, and she could taste the salt of tears that weren't her own.

He pulled away, touching his forehead to hers, and said raggedly, "Maybe I don't want to stay behind and - and maybe you don't want to come along, but one of us has got to cave, and -"

She felt his heart beating. His ribs moved in and out a little too quickly.

"Forget everything. It's me," he said. "I will, I - I love you, Lily Evans, and I want to be yours no matter what."

"James," she croaked.

He kissed her again, more slowly, hiccuping past his tears. "Will you have me?" he begged.

"How could I say no?" she half-laughed, pressing her face into his shoulder. His whole body seemed to collapse with relief.

"I love you," he murmured into her hair. "I really do."

And it seemed, then, that it would be impossible not to believe it.

The End

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well. That's that.

I feel incredibly relieved that this is finished, and yet I'm a bit sad, as I've ben working on it longer than any of my other projects. I've been continually amazed by the people reading...thank you to everyone who ever read and ever reviewed, especially anonymous reviewers. I hope this end wasn't too bad, as I struggled to decide how to write it. I hope some of you return when I start to do the rewrite of the older chapters.

Thanks again. Keep an eye on my other stories, and...'bye.


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